When it came to sword genealogies, J. R. R. Tolkien left little to the imagination. But when it came to discussing which of his iconic characters were noble heroes in the streets/Uruk Hai in the sheets, Professor Tolkien was far more reticent.
Thus we have taken it upon ourselves to answer an eternal question: which Lord of the Rings characters, shall we say, laid waste to Helm’s Deep? Who’s always down for Second Breakfast? Which ones hopped the Buckleberry Ferry to Bonetown? Who reassembled the Shards of Narsil into a mighty sword?
OK, that last one doesn’t work. We admit that.
Anyway, which LOTR characters definitely got it on? Join us as we answer that question for a smattering of Middle-earth citizens, arranged from the most libertine to the most chaste…
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