content by

Jeremy Shipp

Fiction and Excerpts [1]

Fiction and Excerpts [1]

It’s Time to Remake the Star Wars Holiday Special

Box office analysts all over the galaxy have blamed Solo’s disappointing earnings on poor marketing and oversaturation of Star Wars movies. Personally, I believe these theories are (and forgive my French) a whole lot of hooey. The problem with Star Wars these days is that there are too many new ideas, new characters. Why enjoy something fresh and exciting and possibly even challenging, when you can watch the same old thing over and over?

With all this in mind, I’m sure you will agree that what Star Wars truly needs is a remake. Search your feelings. You will know it to be true. You probably already know what film I’m going to recommend that they reimagine, and that is the beloved sequel to A New Hope.

I am, of course, speaking of The Star Wars Holiday Special.

[Read more]

Alternate Career Paths For Five Famous Monsters

I’ve chatted with countless monsters over the years, from Dracula to the titular piece of furniture in Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, and they all seem to believe they’re destined to saturate the world with chaos and calamity until they themselves are obliterated. But this, in my opinion, is an unhealthy mindset. Wouldn’t we all be better off if the fiends of the world stopped ripping off limbs, and instead focused their energies on something more productive, like entering data into an Excel spreadsheet?

Some pessimists out there might assume that monsters are a lost cause when it comes to gainful employment, but I believe the only difference between a well-regarded professional and an unholy monstrosity is that somewhere along the way the monster was given some bad career advice. Therefore, as a world-renowned career counseling enthusiast, I’m going to utilize this post to suggest some alternate career paths for five malevolent brutes.

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Five Overworked Fantasy Characters Who Could Use a Vacation

What with all the cursed jewelry and chthonic adversaries and apocalyptic prophecies to deal with, fantasy characters often seem a bit overworked and overstressed. Sure, these people might be fictional, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t treat themselves to a nice, relaxing holiday from time to time.

Now I have it on good authority that countless fantasy folk, from the Pale Man to Pyornkrachzark, read, so I thought this post would be the perfect opportunity to recommend some amusement parks for a few characters to visit this summer. As a world-renowned theme park enthusiast, I feel that writing this piece is my responsibility.

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The Atrocities

When Isabella died, her parents were determined to ensure her education wouldn’t suffer.

But Isabella’s parents had not informed her new governess of Isabella’s… condition, and when Ms Valdez arrives at the estate, having forced herself through a surreal nightmare maze of twisted human-like statues, she discovers that there is no girl to tutor.

Or is there…?

Jeremy Shipp’s haunting gothic fantasy The Atrocities is available now from Publishing.

[Read an Excerpt]

Five Best Ghosts To Invite To a Barbecue

In all the myriad universes, there’s little I delight in more than a good old-fashioned barbecue. The backyard cookout is an opportunity to connect with your loved ones (and your liked ones, and your can-somewhat-tolerate ones) while gormandizing on hickory-smoked brisket, chili-glazed ribs and grilled slaw burgers.

As a world-renowned barbecue enthusiast, I’m often inundated by letters, emails and carrier pigeons with people asking me how they can take their meat party to the next level. I’ve decided to post my answer to that question here, on, where people often come for barbecue advice.

The secret to a truly unforgettable weenie roast is to invite over the dead. Yes, you heard me right. The answer was right under your nose the whole time. If you want to improve upon the awesomeness of brisket and coleslaw, you need to incorporate something just as awesome. And the only thing in the world as cool as a barbecue is a ghost.

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