content by

Emmet Asher-Perrin

The Year Nerd Culture Took Over the Mainstream

In the transcendental year of 1999, it became clear to me that I was extremely cool.

No, that’s a lie, please don’t take that declaration even remotely seriously. I was twelve and thirteen years old in 1999, and no new teenager understands coolness on a base level, much less feels that coolness in their still-growing bones. The effortlessness of cool is not something that any tween can hope to emulate, the style inherent in the word “cool” has not yet developed by that age. So I was not cool. But there are now two solid decades between me and that year, and on reflection, I’ve realized something momentous:

1999 was the year when I got a glimpse of my future. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

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That Stack of Paper From the Loki Trailer Is a Joke

In the latest trailer for Marvel’s upcoming Loki series, a TVA (that’s Temporal Variance Authority) employee puts a great honking stack of paper in front of the God of Mischief, and asks him to sign and confirm that this is a record of “everything you’ve ever said.” Loki is nonplussed, and tells him outright that this is absurd, to which a nearby computer spits out record of that comment with another spot for a signature.

It should be a cute joke, but it would seem that everyone on the internet has had the same thought about this gag—are you kidding me with that l’il stack of paper?

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They Made a Whole New Justice League so We Don’t Have to Look at Superman’s Uncanny Face

Watching the 2017 release of the Justice League was a trial because… well, just look at Superman’s face. It’s like they deepfaked a reel of leftover claymation stock footage. It’s like someone rubbed vaseline on a very specific section of the camera lens, and no amount of buff and shine could save it. It’s like Henry Cavill figured out Clark Kent’s “vibrate so you don’t show up in photographs” trick, but only used it around his mouth during filming. This is all you can look at every time he’s on camera, and it makes the Man of Steel into something akin to a horror movie monster—you’re just waiting for the guise to slip, for the Babadook to come sidling out and scratch over the screen in charcoal.

Which is why they’ve devoted an entire cut of the film to erasing this mistake.

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