Avengers: Infinity War is almost upon us, and it promises to be an explosive experience where a full decade worth of characters and stories collide in roughly two-and-a-half hours of majesty. But despite everything that this film is trying to be, there are at least a few things it can’t be. And no matter how many characters are stuffed into this cinematic turducken, we know we won’t get to see every single one of them.
Which is sad, really. Because there are so many MCU characters we want to put in a room together. Here are just a few perfect, headcanon meetings that are unlikely to grace us on the silver screen this week.
Peter and Darcy
Though it’s completely understandable that Thor and Jane would eventually part ways, we’ll never really be over the loss of Jane’s BFF Darcy and the joy of watching them antagonize each other. But even if Jane’s not coming back, why can’t Darcy show up? She could be Peter’s new ineffectual physics teacher! (Basically just imagine the Tenth Doctor’s rant to a classroom full of teens at the start of “School Reunion.” You don’t have to change anything at all, just replace the Doctor’s bouncy cadence with Darcy’s boredom.) She could teach Peter how to flirt with girls without stumbling over himself so terribly. Fine, that might be a lost cause. Still, Darcy as the sarcastic older sister that Peter Parker never had is a fantastic idea. She would attach herself to the decathlon group and keep shouting wrong answers to the questions as they practiced. Darcy: world’s greatest super-chaperone.
Shuri and Ned and MJ
Peter is probably going to get the chance to meet the lab buddy of his dreams in Shuri, princess of Wakanda, but that still leaves out two people who should get an invite to that science party: Peter’s best friends, Ned and MJ. Ned would probably walk around Shuri’s workshop, poking at stuff he shouldn’t until he accidentally electrocuted himself a little. Shuri would tell Ned that his hat was cool, then let MJ try on all her fancy armor, and the two would trade their favorite sarcastic jabs and form their own secret handshake. MJ would be so into the Wakandan center set up in Oakland, and they’d talk all about activism in the U.S. and Wakandan history. The worlds greatest sleepover is so close, people. We could have it all.
Frigga and Aunt May and Ramonda and Erik Selvig
Thor and Loki’s mother died in The Dark World, and that’s wrong for many reasons, one of them being that it would be the very height of entertainment to watch her roll her eyes at the Avengers collectively and tell them off for each and every one of their failings (but with her mom voice, so no one felt too badly hurt). Parental figures in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have it really rough if they’re not terrible the job, like Howard Stark and Odin were. What Frigga really deserves is a nice brunch with the other Good Parents of the MCU. Mimosas with Aunt May and Queen Ramonda. Erik Selvig (who is basically a good dad to both Jane and Thor, even when he’s running around without pants on) can keep everyone topped up and complain to Frigga about that one time Loki messed with his brain. She would probably think that was hilarious, and nowhere near as life-altering as Erik thinks it is. Aunt May can make lots of bad puns and pretend that she knows what’s going on while she eats delicious waffles. Ramonda can quietly bask over the fact that her kids are by far the easiest to manage.
M’Baku and Korg
Once M’Baku got over the weirdness of having aliens around all the time, you just know that Korg would be his kind of dude. His people live in the mountains; Korg is basically part mountain. And if anyone could make M’Baku crack a smile on a regular basis, it would absolutely be the former gladiator. Nothing fazes Korg, so he’d be happy to go along with whatever M’Baku wanted to do, be it sparring or sauna time. And he’s the sort of warrior the mountain people would be happy to have on their side. They could just adopt him and Meeks, and then we would be guaranteed more adorable antics and more M’Baku, which the world wants and needs and should get.
The Grandmaster and Justin Hammer
Narcissists United! Is Justin Hammer still sequestered in jail somewhere? Is the Grandmaster hellbent on staying on Sakaar? That’s too bad because it would be incredible to get these two in a room just once. The sheer amount of ego generated by their small talk would make the walls melt. They probably have the same opinions about ridiculous ice cream sundaes flown in from halfway across the world, and how to control people through intimidation and belittlement. It’s a match made in… well, it’s not a good match, and that’s the reason why we need to see it.
Sif and Okoye
We can assume that Lady Sif survived Ragnarok by virtue of not being around when it happened, but it doesn’t seem likely that they have room for her in Infinity War. Which is unfair because she should have the opportunity to bond over booze and war stories with General Okoye, and if this never happens then we live in a world without justice. Sif would take one look at Wakanda’s female fighting force and be furious that she had to deal with Asgardian sexism all these years. What we’re saying is that this meeting would essentially lead to Sif’s defection, and she and Okoye would be frequent carousing buddies who would teach each other bawdy battle songs and laugh until neither could breathe. Sif is going to need some new friends anyhow—all her old friends are dead, and Thor is busy. Valkyrie is obviously part of this club, and everyone tries to close up shop early when they roll into town.
There are so many meetings we’re missing out on, and these are just a small sampling of the possibilities. Which MCU players do you want to see meet face to face?