What follows is a true story. (Happy Halloween?)
Who wants to hear the story of the date I witnessed between Wolf Girl and James Spader's Lonely Doppleganger?
I HOPE IT'S YOU
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
A fella sits at the adjacent table. I do a double-take, because I'm like 98% certain that it's James Spader, but the 2% wins. It ain't him. pic.twitter.com/PoPxydotyM
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
Finally, a PERSON storms in and FLUMPS across from him. My overall impression is: BEDRAGGLED YOUTHSOME LADY.
But she's not just any BYL.
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
NJS: [adjusts tie] Oh, uh, um, a rave? Like, uh, at a club?
BYL: Yeah, but it was like weird. Whatever
NJS: …what's that you're wearing?
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
"A onesie?" NJS asked, like a fool. "Like, what babies wear?"
"Yeah," she said, "except it has paws!"
And then she showed him the paws
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
I was kind of rooting for Not James Spader
BUT THEN
WOLF GIRL SAW THE MENU
AND THINGS TOOK A TURN
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
"You eat pork?" Not James Spader said, aghast.
There are a lot of reasons for him to be upset about this.
None of those are the reason.
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
At this point, the obviously eavesdropping waitress and obviously eavesdropping me exchanged a glance like pic.twitter.com/22QmoQjtMC
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
"Yeah," he said, "Pigs mostly subsist on a diet of cats. And cats eat rats, which is disgusting. You wouldn't eat a rat, would you?"
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
Wolf Girl said no: "My fake ID got confiscated at the rave."
"No worries," Not James Spader replied. "I can get you in at my ex-wifes bar."
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
Eavesdropping Waitress brought me a big glass of free champagne and said
"so… do pigs really eat cats?"
reader
I didn't have an answer— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) October 26, 2017
Hugo and Campbell award finalist Sarah Gailey is an internationally-published writer of fiction and nonfiction. Her work has recently appeared in Mashable, the Boston Globe, and Fireside Fiction. She is a regular contributor for Tor.com and Barnes & Noble. You can find links to her work here. She tweets @gaileyfrey. Her debut novella, River of Teeth, and its sequel Taste of Marrow, are available from Tor.com.
6 Comments