Well, that wasn’t a Meet-Cute for the ages. But I’d expect no less from Game of Thrones. The greetings in Dragonstone sure as hell went a lot better than the goodbyes in King’s Landing. There were other greetings and goodbyes, too. Mostly the nice kind. Mostly.
This is what happens when fleets sail faster than dragons. It all feels better if you just abandon entirely any sense of travel time and just accept that there is only one timeline that matters: the one that sets everyone on their endgame plays.
And right now? Everything’s coming up Cersei.
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We should all have a wingman as good as Davos. Jon’s dating prospects improved dramatically. (With his aunt. Ew. Still, not the weirdest pairing in Westeros.) Missandei is also a hell of a wingwoman for Dany; I never get tired of her listing all of Dany’s titles. What a fantastic contrast between who these characters are, how different, but ultimately, how similar. Both really, truly want to protect their people and are unwilling to seek power for power’s sake, for personal wealth, but, with all the idealism of their youth and the experience of their dark days, want to make the world a better place.
But before we see Dany and Jon meet, we see Tyrion and Jon meet again. They parted so, so long ago. Loved Tyrion asking after Sansa, clearing some of that awkwardness up. After how clunky a lot of last week’s dialogue was, I enjoyed many of tonight’s jokes, observations and parting shots.
It’s just very hard not to see Jon as being in his right to be King of the North. Why does Dany need Seven Kingdoms anyway, really? Just because there are Seven Kingdoms? After everything that has happened in the North, which Dany literally knows nothing about, I think she should let them be independent. But that’s the point of all of this posturing and demanding, right? Cooler heads will prevail; funnily enough, Dany and Jon just need to warm up to each other. Not just romantically — kudos for not showing sparks of chemistry right off the bat. I mean, we’ll 100% get there. But Ser Davos Wingman or not, Jon is (thankfully) no Daario.
Tyrion also showed his worth a few times this hour, brokering some “reasonable” compromise between Jon and Dany, getting the North some dragonglass, impregnating Casterly Rock. Okay, that last bit was maybe not such a big deal, seeing as how Jaime was happy to draw the Unsullied into an easy trap there. Thanks again to freaking Euron who is every-goddamned-where.
“The Long Farewell” has a new, terrible meaning for Ellaria, no?
You have to hand it to Cersei, the Colonel Sanders of revenge: she does vengeance right. Seeing Ellaria and Tyene struggle towards each other in their chains was pretty brutal. I’m just glad we didn’t go to an even darker place with the Sand Snakes’ torture. Had to laugh that torture gets Cersei hot n’ bothered. Gee, wonder where Joffrey got that sadistic streak from?
And what will happen to Yara?
Jaime will be less hot n’ bothered after killing Olenna. Oh, Queen of Thorns, you died like you lived: reading people to filth. We just all need to take a few moments and marvel at how masterful Olenna’s death was in a series known for dramatic exits. While I felt Casterly Rock’s taking was less dramatic than I—and Dany—had hoped, since Highgarden isn’t known for fierce fighters, I was happy to just skip right to Olenna. And, like David Bradley in the season opener, I’m very sad to see Dame Diana Rigg go. But what a way to go.
“She’s a disease,” and “She’ll be the end of you,” really got under Jaime’s skin, didn’t it? He knows what his twin really is. But none of that prophecy will be as immediately cutting as “I want her to know it was me.” DAY-UM. That’s some memorable final words right there.
With Olenna and Ellaria stricken from Dany’s list of allies, she’s really going to need Jon Snow’s alliance now. But not as much as Grey Worm. Won’t someone please think of Grey Worm!? Dany better teach someone to ride Drogon in her stead and pick her best man up or Missandei might do it herself.
- “I read the book and followed the instructions.” Eh, Jorah is healthy enough to moon over Dany again. Good for him, I guess? I’m happier for Samwell, who is just living his best life right now. Paper-mites or not.
- The Spider and the Red Woman arching their eyebrows at each other was pretty great. What could Melisandre mean by “I have to die in this strange country. Just like you.”? Oh no, Spiders keep swimming. Don’t you dare do that to me, Thrones. Makes me wonder if Varys will be Dany’s final betrayal in some way? Will it be a terrible misunderstanding or a last ditch plan gone awry?
- Did you notice how Cersei’s dress looks like it’s topped with vicious, glittering icicles? The darker costume design this season for everyone is just driving me nuts with envy. It’s like McQueen gone medieval. Euron’s clothes are literally the only cool thing about him. Did you notice Cersei’s handmaiden with the black pixie haircut? Is short hair the new fashion in the capitol? Like Hunger Games‘ Katniss’ braid in Panem’s Capitol? To say nothing of all the perfect hair in the throne room at Dragonstone, now that Jon’s arrived.
- Littlefinger’s “every possible thing is happening all at once” took on an eerie tone when Bran, the Three-Eyed-Raven turned up at Winterfell, no? Bran seems so distant and alien now; you can tell Sansa is smart enough to be a bit scared of him, I think. I still cried at their reunion though. I had wished it was Arya instead, but any Starks reuniting gets me in the feels every time.
- Next week: Brienne! With a sword! Mycroft Holmes placing bets for the Iron Bank! Jon brooding some more! And… a dragon being a dragon.
Game of Thrones airs Sunday nights at 9PM E/PT on HBO.
Theresa DeLucci is a regular contributor to Tor.com covering TV, book reviews and sometimes games. She’s also gotten enthusiastic about television for Boing Boing, Wired.com’s Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy podcast and Den of Geek. Reach her via raven or on Twitter.