Warner Bros is finally bringing Dungeons & Dragons to the big screen, to drum up fan excitement like never before, because a D&D movie never happened. Nope, Jeremy Irons grinning maniacally at you is just something you dreamed up. That we all dreamed up. Like some terrifying treat that lives in our collective unconsciousness.
It’s really entertaining how Warner Bros’ press release makes absolutely no mention of the 2000 stinker, the Jupiter Ascending of its time but with less potential for Tumblr fandom. Which is ironic, considering that this announcement marks the end of the rights battle between Hasbro and Sweetpea Entertainment, Inc.—the same production company who was responsible for the D&D movie that bombed. Instead, quotes from folks like Greg Silverman, Warner Bros’ President of Creative Development and Worldwide Production, are all about looking ahead to drawing in new audiences:
We are so excited about bringing the world of Dungeons & Dragons to life on the big screen. This is far and away the most well-known brand in fantasy, which is the genre that drives the most passionate film followings. D&D has endless creative possibilities, giving our filmmakers immense opportunities to delight and thrill both fans and moviegoers new to the property.
New audiences who don’t remember fresh-faced Justin Whalin as Ridley Freeborn, Thora Birch as Empress Savina, and Marlon Wayans as Snails. Says Hasbro’s Executive Vice President and Chief Content Officer Stephen Davis,
This is such an enormous opportunity to bring the rich fantasy setting of the Forgotten Realms to life and, together with the creative powerhouse of Warner Bros., use movies to tell the stories that have enchanted passionate D&D fans for decades. D&D is the role-playing game that started it all and now we have the opportunity to ignite a franchise for its legions of avid fans in a way never done before.
“In a way never done before” will be accurate only if they don’t bring back Irons’ evil mage Profion and the magical sceptre he uses to control the dragons, and his delightful blue-lipsticked henchman Damodar (Bruce Payne). And where would be the fun in that? Sweeptea Entertainment’s Courtney Solomon adds,
We are thrilled that this beloved property can finally make its way to the big screen after 20 years, and that it can be realized by Warner Bros., which has been responsible for the biggest fantasy franchises over the past two decades.
It’s only been fifteen years since the first movie! And Solomon himself directed it! Embrace your campy heritage, guys.
We’ll leave you to relive the top 20 embarrassing moments from the first Dungeons & Dragons movie: