What if Game of Thrones were on Bravo instead of HBO? For one, all of the women (and a few catty men) of Westeros would fight over the Iron Throne—and there would be so many banquet fights that the Red Wedding would look like amateur hour.
“No one even likes each other, but they’re only there because there’s only a few women in Westeros, and they have to rally together, but they hate each other secretly,” Sophie Turner explains in the beginning of her pitch for The Real Housewives of Westeros. It’s part of Vanity Fair’s Improv Imagination series, in which they let celebrities run wild with their stream-of-consciousness imaginings, and then illustrate their ramblings.
The video starts out slow but gets really great once Turner warms to her idea, especially where Sansa is concerned. Of course she’ll be sporting her crow dress, because “now she’s a boss-ass bitch.” But she’s in love with Margaery! “And then Margaery brings in her gay brother Loras. Loras… brings in his gay lover Gregor Clegane!” It’s ridiculous, but also sounds pretty watchable.
This will be especially funny if you’ve ever suffered through any of the Real Housewives installments, with their name-calling, table-flipping, and manufactured drama. The ladies of Westeros fit the Real Housewives tropes pretty well: the alpha female who everyone sucks up to; the self-righteous divorcée/widow; the hot young upstart whose dragons burst in on the table-flipping. OK, that one’s unique to Westeros.
Watch out for some salty language that would surely get bleeped if this were reality TV: