Both of Superman’s Dads Revealed to be Robin Hood

There’s been a lot of talk on this site and elsewhere about Man of Steel: some people love it, some people hate it; some people probably haven’t even seen it yet. But whatever you think about the movie, we think it’s important to note one important fact that nobody seems to be discussing. We all know that Superman has two dads…but did you realize that both of them ARE SECRETLY ROBIN HOOD?

It’s true. We’ve found conclusive proof that both Jor-El  and Jonathan “Pa” Kent put in hard time back in Sherwood Forest, robbing from the rich, giving to the poor, and even being serenaded by Bryan Adams on occasion (allegedly). What does it all mean? Does the Robin Hood connection have anything to do with Superman’s decision to mask his true identity…and does it explain his penchant for tights? And how did New Zealand-born/Australian-bred Robin Hood and American Robin Hood manage to ultimately unleash an honest-to-god British Superman on the world? What Kryptonian/Kansanian sorcery is this?

Troubling questions, indeed, but perhaps the most perplexing conundrum of all: Where does Cary Elwes fit into all of this? Did somebody just forget to call him? C’mon, guys…you were one Cary and a cartoon fox short of a sexy, outlaw-style Locksley Boys reunion. Let’s try to remedy that in the sequel, which we fully expect will be called Supermen in Tights. Or maybe Merry Men of Steel? Either way: let’s make this happen….

citation

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