Ladies and gentlemen, as you may be aware, on the evening of the 9th a great cosmic occurrence came into being in the skies above Norway. A great spiral and a blue corkscrew of not insignificant proportions appeared in the northern regions of the country, causing fear and panic among anyone witnessing it who was not in fact Norwegian (the Norwegians being made of sterner stuff and used to unusual lights in the sky). There are those who say that this incident was the result of a failed Russian missile test, but I ask you! How often do the Russians make things that don’t work? Clearly the “Russian missile test” explanation is a fabrication by those who are afraid of the truth. Indeed, though you may call me mad, I tell you that the most rational explanation is that this incident is nothing less than evidence of the Old Ones upon our very doorstep (assuming that our door is Denmark and the foyer is Germany).
Can there be any wonder that this event has taken place scarcely a week after Tor.com’s Cthulhu month begins? I tell you that the ancient powers uncovered by Howard Philips Lovecraft have taken notice of Tor.com’s efforts to inform the public as to their nature, and they have acted accordingly. Can there be any doubt that this cosmic incident is the work of beings beyond our comprehension? Personally, I think this was the doing of Yog-Sothoth, that lovely chap also known as “the Key and the Gate” (as you can see, he’s multi-functional). In fact, I’d go so far as to bet nothing at all that those massive swirls up there are a portal to another world outside of the bounds of space and time. Come to think of it, the whole event might be the precursor to an invasion from the planet of Yuggoth at the edge of our solar system. Before long, we may well find ourselves up to our ears in hyper-intelligent fungal crustaceans. Gosh! Makes you hungry just thinking about it!
You reading this are asking yourselves “what can we do to save ourselves?” Well, I’ll tell you. First and foremost, read up on your Lovecraft. That fine chap risked his life to bring knowledge of the mythos gods to us and to that I say hurrah! Second, and most importantly, keep a regular eye on Tor.com, your source for mythos information and survival techniques lest things from the outer realms pop by for tea and sandwiches. Remember, your sanity could depend on it.
G. D. Falksen thinks a lot about strange lights in the sky, but only rarely does he cause them. He was definitely eating a sandwich when this one occurred so no trying to pin it on him. More information can be found at his website (www.gdfalksen.com) and his Twitter (twitter.com/gdfalksen).