Fox Cancels Joss Whedon

Despite early indications to the contrary from network executives, FOX announced that Joss Whedon will be cancelled, most likely by marketing-assisted suicide.

This decision marks the end of a long and troubled relationship between the studio and the writer-director, beginning with FOX denying Whedon food and drink, leading up to a gradual reduction in his daily allowance of oxygen. 

“I am so not breathing,” Whedon confirmed. “This is me, all asphyxiating.”

Outraged fans claim that his career has been played out of order, and have created a “Save Joss” website, noting the success of the “Don’t Assassinate J.J. Abrams” campaign.