Once upon a time on Twitter, I asked people to come up with easy to make Doctor Who themed drinks for the launch party of Queers Dig Time Lords. I was staggered by the enthusiasm and ingenuity with which people responded—but Al Kennedy of comics podcast House to Astonish took things a step further, coming up with drink components for all eleven incarnations of the Doctor, themed around one of their representative episodes (or books).
Very keen to see these bits and bobs come together as actual, buildable drinks, I asked alcohol architect Stephane Cote for his expertise—and what he came up with absolutely blew me away.
Armed with recipes, good company, and very little in the way of instinctual self-preservation, I journeyed forth into the wilds of Glasgow to find a cocktail bar that would enable us to drink our way through eleven Doctors. Blue Dog and its excellent staff were game, and thus did our adventure begin.
PART ONE offers you the recipes and professional production of Taay, our fabulous bartender; PART TWO will contain our tasting notes, as well as crowdsourced photography of the happy few around the world who volunteered to make a couple of drinks each to enrich these posts.
Build four parts tequila and one part crème de cacao over ice in a heavy-based rocks glass. Add a splash of cream and sip slowly while contemplating Autloc’s sacrifice and the perils of trying to change history.
Patrick Troughton: THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN (Bailey's Irish Cream, peppermint schnapps, iced coffee, crushed ice, mint)
Fill a zombie glass halfway with crushed ice. Pour one part Bailey’s and one part peppermint schnapps into glass, then top with chilled South American coffee. Garnish with fresh mint sprig. Add generous portion of yak’s milk as you will require fortitude in your search for the Holy Ghanta.
Jon Pertwee: THE GREEN DEATH (overproof rum, Midori, pineapple juice, Sprite, cherries)
Shake two parts overproof rum, one part Midori, and four parts pineapple juice and pour into a tall glass. Top with Sprite and add three de-stemmed black cherries. If offered assistance by any megalomaniacal supercomputers, refuse politely but firmly.
Tom Baker: THE SUN MAKERS (Vodka, Cointreau, blood orange juice, fresh lime juice, cinnamon stick)
Shake two parts vodka, one part Cointreau, and three parts blood orange juice over ice and strain into a chilled martini glass. Add a sprinkle of ground cinnamon and garnish with a cinnamon stick and/or flamed orange peel. Properly ingested, will invest you with the warmth of the Sun even while labouring in the canyons of Pluto.
Peter Davison: BLACK ORCHID (Vodka, raspberry liqueur, blueberry cordial, blackberries)
Shake two parts vodka, one part raspberry liqueur, one part blueberry cordial over ice and strain into a chilled cosmopolitan glass. Float three blackberries. This sumptuous digestive will be of invaluable assistance when you are solving the mystery of Cranleigh Hall. (Hint: check the roof, and watch out for shadowy figures.)
Colin Baker: THE TWO DOCTORS (Plymouth Dr-y gin, Dr Pepper, Sazerac rye, Angostura bitters, cherry lollipop)
Build one part gin, one part rye, two parts Dr Pepper over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Add a dash of bitters. Drink up your medicine, but don’t worry: you see the Doctors, you get a lollipop.
Sylvester McCoy: GHOST LIGHT (Maker's Mark bourbon, peach schnapps, mint, shaved ice, simple syrup, peach slice)
Build one part peach schnapps, dash of simple syrup and mint leaves to a silver julep cup. Muddle mint leaves well, then fill with shaved ice. Add two parts Maker’s mark, then more shaved ice. Garnish with a fresh peach slice and serve with a straw. Nimrod the Neanderthal’s tipple of choice, though you’d never know it with his dragging knuckles and beetling brow.
Paul McGann: INTERFERENCE (Plymouth Dry gin, crème de cassis, elderflower cordial, white grapefruit juice, lemonade, fresh wild thyme)
Shake and pour two parts gin and one part crème de cassis in a tall glass. Add one part elderflower cordial, then fill glass with equal amounts of grapefruit and lemonade. Garnish with a sprig of fresh wild thyme. For best results, imbibe while travelling the streets of London in a time machine disguised as a double-decker bus in the company of a woman named Iris who solves mysteries.
Christopher Eccleston: BOOM TOWN (Bourbon, sweet vermouth, sparkling wine, angostura bitters, cube of sugar, lemon peel twist)
Build one part bourbon, a dash of sweet vermouth and a dash of bitters in a champage flute. Fill with dry sparkling wine, add a single sugar cube and garnish with a long twist of lemon peel. Watch the sugar cube sparkle and dance in the glass while you negotiate with a Slitheen for the fate of Cardiff. Offer to make her one to soften her negotiating stance and, if necessary, slow her in a foot chase.
David Tennant: THE WATERS OF MARS (gin, vodka, cranberry juice, lime juice)
Build two parts vodka and one part gin over ice in a zombie glass. Fill with cranberry juice and squeeze the juice of two lime wedges into glass. Drop in the pulped, mangled remains to commemorate our lost Mars colonists, but feel free to ignore the warnings about not drinking even a single drop.
Matt Smith: THE POWER OF THREE (Cognac, rum, bourbon, angostura bitters, orange bitters, Peychaud's bitters, simple syrup)
Build equal parts cognac, rum and bourbon in a balloon snifter. Add one dash angostura bitters, orange bitters, and Peychaud bitters, in that order. If required, add a dash of simple syrup to sweeten the bitterness of the inevitable end.
Amal El-Mohtar is the author of The Honey Month, a collection of stories and poems written to the taste of 28 different kinds of honey. She has twice received the Rhysling award for best short poem, and her short story “The Green Book” was nominated for a Nebula award. She has contributed essays on Doctor Who to Chicks Unravel Time and Queers Dig Time Lords (Mad Norwegian Press), and also edits Goblin Fruit, an online quarterly dedicated to fantastical poetry. Follow her on Twitter.
Al Kennedy is one half of HOUSE TO ASTONISH, an irreverant podcast about comics, featuring news, reviews, Scottish accents and the ever-daft Official Handbook of the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe.
Stephane Cote is a web writer who happens to have made even more drinks than the average journalism school graduate.