So, we’re not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s been some news. You may want to sit down for this, actually. Ben Affleck has been cast as Batman in Zack Snyder’s eventual Man of Steel sequel. And there has not been much rejoicing.
In light of this news, we asked you to be our personal Sam Becketts, traveling back into the past to put right what once went wrong, and tell us who you think would make a better Batman. And you, beautiful denizens of the internet, responded with a wave of suggestions that restored our faith in humanity. At least, the non-Zack Snyder portion of humanity.
Because we agreed with Jim C. Hines, who said that the choice of Idris Elba would have made the internet explode, we have created the above image. Just look at that picture! Imagine the alternate universe where that picture is the truth! That man can fill out a Bat-suit. Check out the rest of our Bat-tastic list below, and give us more suggestions in the comments! Maybe if there are enough of us we can use our momentum to spin the planet backwards until it’s yesterday again, and we can recast this sucker! (And stop mixing our metaphors after six cups of coffee...)
“No more Batmen and Superman until we have a Wonder Woman film. Wonder Woman can play Batman” –Liz Bourke, hawkwing_lb.
“Joe Manganiello. Alcide the werewolf from True Blood. Batman should be a dark, intimidating badass.” –VanAllenPlexico.
“Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Can’t you imagine him growling I’M THE GODDAMN BATMAN.” –orange_marmoset
“Thorin Oakenshield himself! Richard Armitage.” –laineynzo
“James Purefoy. Jon Hamm” –ShoshanaKessock
“Warwick Davis.” –kradlum
“For older, grizzled Batman, there is only one choice: Ron Perlmen. Search your heart. You know it to be true.“ –johemedel.
(Actually, the elusive nature of truth has always troubled us. But Ron Perlman would be soooo good.)
“I say bring back Adam West. Break the cycle of grimdark and let these flicks be fun again.” –shadowmaat.
“In hindsight, looking at today… Chris O’Donnell” –meijerjt
A few people thought some actors should trade the TARDIS in for a Batmobile with Scott Gregory saying, “I hear Matt Smith is looking for work. Doctor Batman anyone?” and Shane Nixon voting for Peter Capaldi. John Friberg wants John Cleese, and added “Seriously.” And while we do think this is a good proposal, how awesome would John Cleese be as Alfred?
Finally, Ana Resende won our hearts by joining us on the Tilda Swinton Express. She made Constantine worth watching. Allow us to reiterate: she made Constantine worth watching. If anyone could have saved Zack Snyder from himself, it would have been her.
Although we greatly admire Danny Bowes for standing by Ben Affleck.
“B-Fleck's a fine choice. Eff the haters, right in the A.” –moviesbybowes
These are all great suggestions, but really we’re just dancing around the fact that classic Mae West should be the next Batman:
Deal with that, Superman.
Stubby the Rocket is the mascot of Tor.com. Stubby thinks that that new Batman should be Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.