Aug 6 2012 4:00pm

Bloody Tears For Fears. True Blood: “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”

True Blood episode review: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

There were a lot of bared fangs (and more) on this week’s episode of True Blood. And pigs. As tensions rise across the South, Eric tries to outsmart the Lilith-worhipping Authority, the Shreveport werewolf pack receives a gift, and supernatural folk can all sleep a little easier now that the Dragon has been captured.

We’re closer to the end of the season than the beginning — only three episodes left. So are the smaller stories going to get closure a little earlier this year to make room for a bigger, better, more vampire-centric epic finale? I can only hope so because the emotional center of this season isn’t exactly happening. Why does True Blood get thirteen episodes a season and Game of Thrones only ten despite having three times the story material? And real dragons?

At least Lafayette wasn’t tortured this week.


Eric is still trying to save his sister Nora, and Bill, too. But if Bill’s indeed playing the long con he’s sure doing a fantastic job of it. And that’s without getting horizontal with Salome. Bill barely bat an eyelash when Eric tried to play to his heart and ask if he thought Sookie was “just food.” But now that Eric’s been caught trying to escape and will face the True Death, will we see how far Bill is willing to play devout or if he’s really going through a spiritual crisis? Either way, not cool of him to forget his bromance with Eric.


We see the immediate effects of just one less Tru Blood factory in the world as Tara gets bitched out for trying to stockpile some bottles. But Eric being occupied with the Authority has led to the stationing of a new sheriff in Area Five. And he seems like a real dick. So while Pam and Tara may not be best friends now, something tells me they can combine their preternatural ability to hate for something good. Like getting rid of him.


Was almost eaten by pigs. And that’s about it.


Well, that was the kind of shock that just left me feeling nothing much. Former Sheriff Dearborne is the Dragon. Okaaay? I’m a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Maxine and that the reveal wasn’t, you know, a more relevant revelation to characters in the story. Now Andy gets to look like a good cop by default instead of on real merit. And the whole way fugly cowboy boots marked Bud and his mistress was just too damn ridiculous.


Was there a point to Alcide’s scenes this week at all? We already knew he was a lone wolf at heart, so why do we need to see him visit his dad and waste a good opportunity to use Robert Patrick? Young Alcide and Young Debbie were cute.


Speaking of the pack that abjured Alcide, Russell’s back up to his old tricks, feeding V to get werewolves on his team. But not in the same way he wants Steve on his team, I think. Their interactions, from saying grace in the opening to the ending in Shreveport, were a real highlight. Now I feel bad wishing I could have a wolf puppy of my own after seeing Martha cry about her granddaughter’s abduction. Boy, I sure hope there’s a tall, dark, and Cajun lone wolf uncontaminated by V to help Sam and Luna save that precious little girl!

Other points of interest:

  • Sookie’s “stripper fairies” know that vampires are trying to take over the world. Will it bring the fairies out of hiding?
  • I said points of interest, so I don’t need to talk about Terry fatally wounding Felicity, dude.
  • Lafayette finally remarks on his new role as Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. Loved the lashes.
  • Everybody poops. Except vampires. I love the return of brilliantly stupid Jason Stackhouse. How much better is he this year without were-panthers pooping all over his character development?

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM E/PT on HBO.

Theresa DeLucci is a regular contributor to She covers True Blood, Game of Thrones, and is also an avid gamer. She has also covered tech and TV for and Action Flick Chick. Follower her on Twitter @tdelucci

1. Iamme
I laughed more with comments from this episode - from Lafayette's "eyelashes" to Jason's "dragons" to Tara's "vampire Barbie" to Andy's "werechickens" - than previous episodes. Loved Layfayette's respectful tone and words in the presence of Gram Stackhouse.

I may be mistaken, but wasn't it Sheriff Bud's sorely-in-need-of-a-pair-of-pants girlfriend who turned out to be the true dragon of the Obamasquad?

"Bromance" Love that term! Almost as good as Gregory House's "Bros before Hos" saying.

Why hasn't Eric simply destroyed Lillith's blood thereby breaking everyone of its hold? That's the first thing I would've done.
2. Gardner Dozois
On the whole, I'm enjoying this season, although there have been letdowns. The potential of Roman as a character was more or less wasted, and there didn't seem to have been much of a real reason to put him into the plot in the first place. Having Sherrif Bud turn out to be the Dragon (prodded on by his new girlfriend) was also a letdown. It would have been so much more interesting if it had been Hoyt's mother, rather than some Evil Woman character they invented at the last moment and with whom you had no history invested.

Why was Sam the only one fighting all the Obamas? How come Luna didn't appear to help him? Are Shifters supposed to be physically stronger than normal humans? Would make it a bit more credible that Sam could hold his own against three or four other guys. Would also help to explain how Sam and Luna could be up and walking around, and rolling on the ground, and having fist-fights with people, a couple of days after having been shot through the body with high-powered rifles--but if that's so, they've never actually established it in the show that I'm aware of.

I wonder if Luna was supposed to have killed Bud's Evil Girlfriend, out in the woods? I didn't see her being loaded into any of the police cars at the end. I also wondered why Luna just didn't tear into her in wolf form, which would have been much more effective.

No, there didn't seem to be much point to Alcide's scenes. Character-building, I guess.

Is Luna's daughter permanently a puppy now? How come everybody else at the pack meeting was in human form, and she alone was a wolf?

Yes, lots of funny lines in this episode, more so than usual, and I really enjoyed Lafyette camping around as a medium, particularly the wink-wink shout-out to Whoopie Goldberg. I did wonder why if Gram was going to go to all the trouble to communicate with Sookie across the Gulf of Death, she didn't just TELL her what she needed to know? Lafyettte also commented exasperatedly on this, which was at least funny. I also appreciated the snipe at Fox News, with the one reporter asking if it was true that President Obama was out roaming the woods and killing supernaturals; I could SO see them spinning it that way.

I'm beginning to wonder if Bill is actually playing a long game, as I thought at first, or has actually been converted. And I had the same thought as far as Eric destroying Lillith's blood is concerned. He's standing right next to it, after all. At the very least, he could have taken it hostage and threatened to destroy it if they didn't let him escape.
3. Iamme
I whole-heartedly agree with you about Roman. What a waste of Chris Meloni's talent. There's so many clipped storylines, sometimes I think the creators/producers shoot more than one version of an episode and then air whatever version they deem best based on viewer comments from previous episodes.
4. sofrina
@2 - the dragon was indeed arrested. her red silk robe flashes in the background as she's led into a police car. also, i think luna doesn't attack as a wolf because she is not an animal. she takes on the shapes, not the characteristics. the weres are both people and animals, they have the instincts of both (and seem to lean one way or the other based on temperament).

i said that sam's real mother was perhaps the deadliest person on the show because she had spent decades fighting actual dogs and winning. for a human being, with all our reason and compassion, to be able to do that against real animals, trained and bred to kill... so, i'm glad luna's just a schoolteacher and caring mom. punches are fine with me.

why on earth did that woman take the kid to a pack meeting? are there no bedtimes in bon temps?
5. Gardner Dozois
I assume it's a werewolf thing--they all get together and hang out on certain nights. Chances are they'd start introducing children into that kind of social system at a pretty early age, just as many humans take their children to church on Sunday or familiarize them with other kinds of social support systems they're part of (although it's odd that there don't seem to be any other young children there). You'd think that Luna's grandmother would be leery of taking her there, though, knowing that they're all degenerate v addicts who have already tried to give the kid v.

I still want to know why she's always a puppy. Everybody else at the meeting was in human form.
6. sofrina
i assume she can't control her changes. is she a wolf or a shifter who reflexively turns into a wolf? i can't really hear the dialogue half the time.
Ashe Armstrong
7. AsheSaoirse
There are still some meh points but on the whole, season 5 has kept my interest a helluva lot more than season 4, so that's good. And Sookie seems to be mostly staying quiet, which is very good. So that's nice. Lala is always fun when he's not being tortured.
8. Darth Touma
The part I most enjoyed was Sookie's "oops, maybe I shoud not have been trying to waste my magic" moment.. Serves her right for being the idiot who wants to waste such an awesome ability..
9. Gardenr Dozois
It also just occured to me to wonder who all the other "dead bitches" were who were flocking around trying to get Lafyette to deliver messages to Sookie. What did they want to tell her?

Also, if you can communicate with Gran on the Other Side, why can't you just contact Sookie's mother and ask her who killed them?
10. sofrina
because lafayette is not a piemaker... maybe her parents have moved on, having been dead so long. or maybe they don't know.
11. Gardner Dozois
Sookie's mother must have known who killed her, she called him by name.
13. Gardner Dozois
You're right. So, do fairies get an Afterlife? If so, they could contact CLAUDINE on the Other Side and ask HER.
14. Iamme
@9 - The other "dead bitches" who flocked may not have anything to say about or to Sookie; they simply saw Lafayette's light on, came through and wanted him to convey their message to their loved ones.
15. Gardner Dozois
So, if Gran wasn't trying to set Sookie on the path to finding out that Bud was the Dragon, which seems unlikely, then WHAT exactly was she trying to get across by telling her to look in the box under the bed, especially as the subject she was being questioned about was who killed Sookie's parents? It clearly wasn't Bud, as Sookie read him thinking that it was "vampers."
16. Iamme
I assume there's something else in that box that will lead Sookie to find out exactly who killed her parents. Or there's something else she's sleeping on, i.e. a hidden compartment in the bed, or perhaps the "sleep on it" means it's something that will come to her in a dream. Who the hell knows, but it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I simply hope the whole "word from the dead" doesn't fizz out or the powers that be leave it hanging like other storylines before.
17. Christine L.
Being a fan of the books, I've frequently wondered why Ms. Harris gave away so much control over the original story line to Alan Ball. At least you can read the series and have a whole different experience than you get from True Blood.

When Lafayette passed on Gran'smessage the first thing I thought was that Alan was taking an element from book 11 to give Sookie some sort of control over the Bromance/Authority/her severely depleted powers/or solving her parents murders. Another example of Ball snatching an element from the book to further his version of the Southern Vampire Stories.
Christopher Hatton
18. Xopher
Bud did declare that "Sweetie" was the Dragon of their parish (county). Also that she was square-dance champion of Louisiana, but never mind.

Gardner: I wonder if Luna was supposed to have killed Bud's Evil Girlfriend, out in the woods?

I thought so, from the sound effects. Who was there to say "go look for Sweetie," after all? But perhaps they're saving her for another episode; as they demonstrated in Roman's final scene (and yeah, what a waste), when someone is for-real dead, they're shown dying.

OTOH, sofrina saw Sweetie's red robe flash in the arrest scene. I didn't, but I was looking elsewhere.

How come everybody else at the pack meeting was in human form, and she alone was a wolf?

Because you can't play that scene with a real little girl (I mean the actress) in the room, though it was all blood and no sex, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe because having two gay men carry off a little girl as a "pet" was too icky and made a statement they didn't want to make? I'd thank them for that choice, if so.

About destroying the blood: I think they just established that Lilith's blood is now flowing in Salome's veins. That's what that shot of Bill seeing Lilith after drinking from Salome, looking surprised, then looking at the blood from his mouth, was supposed to mean.

Radical thought: perhaps their really IS no actual Lilith blood, or Salome IS Lilith. If so, destroying the blood in the reliquary won't do any good. It will be necessary to kill Salome and burn every drop of her blood (which would not make me a bit sad).

I think Bill is converted for real. They're going to have to either get him off the Lilith-v, or kill him.
19. Gardner Dozois
I doubt they'll kill him. In fact, my guess is that some kind of rekindling of the Bill/Sookie romance is in the cards, if not this year, then next season. (Yes, I know that in the books, Sookie ends up with Eric rather than Bill, but I don't think that's how it's going to end up with TV Eric, who seems to have lost interest in Sookie, where Bill is clearly still hung up on her.)

Yes, the series has varied wildly from the books. A mixed blessing--they've put in some dumb stuff, but, on the other hand, in the books Lafyette doesn't make it through the first book (and is a much less interesting character), Tara is a less interesting character, and Jason becomes a were-panther.
Christopher Hatton
20. Xopher
Wait...Jason isn't a were-panther in the TV series? I don't think I've seen him looking more like a human than like a panther! :-)
Christopher Hatton
21. Xopher
Also, while they might do just about anything, I'd bet the fact that Anna Pacquin is currently pregnant with Stephen Moyer's twins might influence how they write their respective characters.
Christopher Hatton
22. Xopher
they == the writers
their == Pacquin's and Moyer's
23. Gardner Dozois
There's been some speculation about how Anna Pancquin's real-life pregnancy might affect the storyline, with some speculating that they might write Sookie out of the show. This seems unlikely to me. Although many people don't like her, Sookie is the reason for the show, and its center. Without her, everything falls apart.
Christopher Hatton
24. Xopher
People who don't like Sookie should bang their heads on the wall until they change their minds.
Ashe Armstrong
25. AsheSaoirse
How bout the writers make her an interesting character instead?
26. Gardner Dozois
Actually, I find her to be a fairly interesting character. I disagree with those who want a lot less Sookie in the show. What the show needs is a lot MORE Sookie. She's the central character, but she often has trouble competing with all the peripheral characters, who often get more air-time. She needs to be able to hold the center of the show in order for the show to work correctly. A show without her in it altogether would not last long, in spite of all the vivid supporting characters.

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