HBO’s sexy hit series returned with its third season premiere and female fans everywhere were grateful for the invention of paid cable.
I’m just grateful for the return of guilty pleasure summer TV. If I’m going to be indoors on a beautiful, warm evening, I demand vampires, gore, soapy romance and gratuitous nudity. True Blood delivers. While a certain segment of the audience will appreciate Eric Northman in the buff and Bill and Sam almost sharing a dream-shower, the episode offered enough thrills to look really good to anyone.
No time has passed in Bon Temps—characters with this much drama in their lives don’t have time for a hiatus! Bill’s kidnapping is the big mystery to start the season and we get at least a partial answer to who’s behind it. For as much of an old-fashioned stick in the mud as he is, Bill definitely has his moments of kick ass that remind you he is indeed a powerful vampire. And pretty clever. What scares him so much about Mississippi? Is it more than just werewolves? (Insert inbred cannibal hillbilly joke here.)
Sookie is still hilariously self-absorbed. I loved the way everyone mocked her for needing a few minutes to herself before answering Bill’s marriage proposal. For a telepath, she’s pretty oblivious. I get that Bill would be her number one concern, but sparing a few more moments for Tara might have been nice. Or noticing that Jessica was clearly hiding something (a corpse.) Hell, Sookie barely batted an eyelash at a naked Eric, that’s how flustered she is. Her “Holy S!” was adorable though. She may act like an idiot sometimes, but Sookie’s also really likable.
Speaking of Tara, remember when we saw that she and Sookie were best friends instead of being told they were? They haven’t really hung out since the first season. I thought Eggs was probably the worst character on TV last season, so watching Tara mourn for his death is boring. Watching her lash out at everyone is also pretty boring. I’ve got a bad feeling that Tara’s scenes will continue to be most conductive to fridge runs and bathroom breaks. I hope she gets over the angst quick and something interesting—maybe even positive—happens to her. Jason dealing with the psychological aftermath of killing Eggs and searching for some direction in life is more interesting. Provided he finds some direction soon.
I’m excited to learn more about Sam’s family and what makes them so bad. Shapeshifters and werewolves in the same season? I hope he runs into Bill outside of his dreams.
Meanwhile, in Fangtasia, Eric and the Queen of Louisiana will probably have to kill the Magistrate if they want to keep their V-dealing secret. Which is a shame because that actor is really good. I knew Eric couldn’t have kidnapped Bill. Too obvious!
Werewolves, vampire plots, rotting bodies, shapeshifters and drama! All in all, Bon Temps is looking really hot this summer, making me feel a lot less guilty about my guilty pleasure television viewing.
- Pam: “I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to, and also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.”
- Andy Bellefleur to Jason: “Conscience off; d—- on.”
- The scary, non-CGI, titular pack of wolves as seen in the episode’s postmortem. I really appreciate they’re not-ridiculous animatronics or silly cartoon dogs like in...some other vampire/werewolf bit of pop culture.
Theresa DeLucci is writing her post about True Blood on vacation. That’s how much she loves Lafayette.