Tor.com Name-that-Zombie Caption Contest

Fri
Feb 6 2009 1:59pm

Tor.com Name-that-Zombie Caption Contest

We here at Tor.com love us some zombies, and judging from your comments and our webstats, a lot of you love zombies, too. And so it is with great pleasure that we announce the inevitable Tor.com Name-that-Zombie Caption Contest.

How do you play? It’s easy. All you have to do is come up with your best caption (50 words or less) for the zombie photo above, and post it as a comment in reply to this post. Our panel of judges will evaluate all of the entries, and our favorite one will be chosen as the winner.

The winner will receive a superfabulous zombie prize pack, containing:

One copy of The Living Dead edited by John Joseph Adams, signed by the editor and personalized however you wish.
One copy of Left 4 Dead, the hot new first-person shooter from Valve (available on PC and Xbox 360).

The undeadline is one week from today, February 13, Midnight (EST).

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. A PURCHASE DOES NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. To participate in the “Zombie Caption” contest, leave a comment including a caption for the posted image in the comments section below, beginning Friday, 06 February, 2009 and ending on Friday, 13 February, 2009. Winners will be selected on the basis of originality, humor and creativity, each factor applied equally. Open to registered users of Tor.com who are legal U.S. residents 18 years of age and older. Void in Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law. For complete Official Rules, go here. Sponsor: Tor.com, a division of Macmillan, 175 5th Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

Updated: And we have a winner! Full details available here.

1. Tennerock

view all by Tennerock | Friday February 06, 2009 02:42pm EST

The line between work and play was a bit blurry for the detectives of the latest CSI franchise...

2. neth

view all by neth | Friday February 06, 2009 02:51pm EST

The source of all those reprogrammed road signs is identified. Zombie cops threaten to unionize.

3. katre

view all by katre | Friday February 06, 2009 02:56pm EST

The King and Queen of the Zombie Prom.

4. Wasaty

Friday February 06, 2009 02:59pm EST

To serve. You.

5. rc6750

Friday February 06, 2009 03:10pm EST

Falling Off The Thin Blue Line: A Badge, a Shuffle, and a Struggle with Brain Addiction.

6. gaijin

view all by gaijin | Friday February 06, 2009 03:14pm EST

"Braaaains...I mean dooooonuts...um, braaaains? Oh, I'm so confused."

7. JohnGWill

Friday February 06, 2009 04:07pm EST

Do you, Rigga, Take you, Mortis, to have and to hold, until you both just fall apart?

8. robotrevolution

view all by robotrevolution | Friday February 06, 2009 04:53pm EST

"You're out of line, Smith!" the Captain shouted. "One more suspect turns up missing their brain and you're FIRED!"

"Uuurrrrhhhhh..."

"And none of that back-talk or I'll demote you down to traffic. You're a loose cannon, Smith - you and your partner! Now get out of my sight!"

9. Angela Hale

Friday February 06, 2009 04:58pm EST

We Loved the Inauguration! We got jobs jobs jobs and brains brains brains because we were the only police left locally!

10. MrTimmy

view all by MrTimmy | Friday February 06, 2009 06:04pm EST

Mae said, "Why Officer McStiffy, is that your gun, or are you just glad to see me?"

11. dejaffa

view all by dejaffa | Friday February 06, 2009 06:31pm EST

Officer Friendly would like a word with you.

12. BenHM3

view all by BenHM3 | Friday February 06, 2009 06:55pm EST

The sad thing about the Department's new "open door" policy for minorities is that the new recruits had to partner with each other.

13. Lou Wysocki

Friday February 06, 2009 07:04pm EST

"Let's be careful out there."

14. bookmomC

Friday February 06, 2009 07:47pm EST

Mike and Julie have been third shift security guards for five years now and its really starting to show.

15. eldritch00

Friday February 06, 2009 09:17pm EST

Martin Scorsese remade Infernal Affairs as The Departed. Now, George Romero remakes The Departed as The Dearly Departed.

16. hope1031

view all by hope1031 | Friday February 06, 2009 09:32pm EST

To Serve and Protect

17. heresiarch

view all by heresiarch | Friday February 06, 2009 11:03pm EST

It's kind of ironic how the zombie apocalypse happened during our flash mob.

18. Matt C. Wilson

Saturday February 07, 2009 08:43pm EST

In the Undead Justice System humans are persecuted by two separate, yet equally important groups. The fast zombies who pursue the living and the zombie mobs who consume their brains. These are their stories.

19. jtglover

view all by jtglover | Sunday February 08, 2009 10:18am EST

All this, and BRAAAAIIIINNNS too.

20. rightcoast

Sunday February 08, 2009 03:44pm EST

In response to increased scrutiny after Thursday's report showing that police brutality was up 17,000% over last month's already historic highs, union rep Lisa Fulchi and police spokesperson Matt Brooks held a press conference this morning. They assure the public they, "ZzzzUUuUZzzzt AAAaahHT ZZzzZrrAAaNNS."

21. rightcoast

Sunday February 08, 2009 03:46pm EST

Darn. Misspelled Fulci and didn't catch it in the preview. :(

22. C.Cevasco

Sunday February 08, 2009 07:33pm EST

"You have the right to remain Soylent..."

23. Donna S

Sunday February 08, 2009 10:20pm EST

Have you had dinner yet? Please join us.

24. Victorya

Monday February 09, 2009 09:06am EST

New From Dick Wolf: Law and Order: Undead Division

25. Jacob P. Silvia

Monday February 09, 2009 10:18am EST

Do you smell bacon? ... Really, really rancid bacon?

26. Aaron Polson

Monday February 09, 2009 11:54am EST

You have the right to be eaten. Anything you say will likely be ignored because we are dead. You have the right to scream, moan, or groan during consumption. If you are rendered unable to utter a sound, one of us will moan for you. Do you understand these rights?

27. Mark Matthews

Monday February 09, 2009 01:21pm EST

Metro Parking Enforcement: Zombie Division. "The fines are stiff and so are our officers"

28. Josh A Smith

Monday February 09, 2009 04:15pm EST

And then things got a LITTLE out of control at the 35th annual police officers bash. Should have known better than to offer a open brains bar!

29. nihawkins

Monday February 09, 2009 06:06pm EST

At a recent Cop Rock reunion, two former cast members express through costume the state of their careers since the show's cancellation.

30. David Boop

Tuesday February 10, 2009 12:18pm EST

Under the new regime, Homeland Security has added extra TSA Officers to expedite the screening process of people with laptops, baby strollers, and bling.

31. scottken

view all by scottken | Tuesday February 10, 2009 12:21pm EST | amended on Tuesday February 10, 2009 12:22pm EST

Fan Guests of Honor "Mrrrrm" and "Nyarrgh" at Cop Con 30 in Monroeville, PA.

32. Larry Hodges

Tuesday February 10, 2009 12:24pm EST

It wasn't until their faces turned blue and their flesh began rotting away that the passengers and crew of Flight 1549 realized that none of them had survived the crash into the Hudson River.

33. csinman

view all by csinman | Tuesday February 10, 2009 12:43pm EST

Well, this is the first time I've been pulled over for having encephalitis, and I guess it'll be my last.

34. katiebabs

Tuesday February 10, 2009 02:45pm EST

We want happy hour... now!

35. kaplooeymom

view all by kaplooeymom | Tuesday February 10, 2009 03:18pm EST

In the current economy, even zombies must work past retirement.

36. Captplothole

Tuesday February 10, 2009 03:39pm EST

Some critics suggested the Cagney and Lacey reunion came about ten years too late.

37. bliteratewench

Tuesday February 10, 2009 11:22pm EST

They were zombies and cops, and they thought they'd seen it all, but what they saw through the window that night revolted even their decaying sensibilities.

38. JasonT

view all by JasonT | Wednesday February 11, 2009 07:50am EST

When the strippers showed up at Bob's bachelor party, he knew his request for something "unique" had been misinterpreted.

39. Baelyn Al'Rosh

Wednesday February 11, 2009 11:41am EST

"I'm sorry oficer, but I'm not taking a speeding ticket until I see your badge. That red faux-hawk can't be regulation. And while you're at it could you have your partner quit gnawing on my arm?"

40. Cadfael

view all by Cadfael | Wednesday February 11, 2009 01:53pm EST

I'm sorry officers, you must be mistaken. There's no Brian here, let alone more than one.

41. KellBrown

view all by KellBrown | Wednesday February 11, 2009 03:02pm EST | amended on Wednesday February 11, 2009 03:02pm EST

"We're here for the Max Brooks signing. We're huge fans. Huge."

42. KellBrown

view all by KellBrown | Wednesday February 11, 2009 03:03pm EST

"Yes, we are short fiction editors. How'd you know?"

43. MaryJBurnswell

view all by MaryJBurnswell | Wednesday February 11, 2009 06:08pm EST

Unfortunately, Mayor Bloomberg's experiments with alternative labor sources resulted in less stringent badge requirements. Coincidentally, in a story the mayor's office claims is unrelated, the number of human bite cases at citywide hospitals has increased exponentially.

44. Perry P. Perkins

Wednesday February 11, 2009 10:07pm EST

What REALLY happened to Heather Locklear and Adrian Zmed...

45. Ben Alvarez

Thursday February 12, 2009 12:43am EST

Dead boys. Dead boys.
Watcha gonna do?
Watcha gonna do when the dead pursue you?
Dead boys. Dead boys.
Watcha gonna do?
Apocolypse is here and the cops eat you ...

46. Emz0r

Thursday February 12, 2009 02:49pm EST

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who eat your brains, and the dist - hey, wait a sec, that's not the aaaAAAGH HELP HELP AAAUUUUGGGH-"

47. Emz0r

Thursday February 12, 2009 02:57pm EST

"Tobias Funke was happy to see the Hot Cops until he realized they were cold. Cold, and oddly inarticulate. And hungry."

48. Tori Schwanberg-Wright

Thursday February 12, 2009 06:54pm EST

At eHarmony, our patented Compatibility Matching System® narrows the field from millions of candidates to a highly select group of singles that are compatible with you. Unlike other sites where you can post a picture and paragraph and then browse the profiles of other users, eHarmony does the matching for you based on 29 DimensionsTM of personality that are scientifically-based predictors of long-term relationship success, including sense of humor, movies, religion, and eating brains.

49. dannyb741

view all by dannyb741 | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:37pm EST

With a sense of creeping terror, their last few synapses flaring briefly, Archie and Mabel realized what had befallen them. They were... Oh-God, the horror... they were... police officers!

50. Delilah

view all by Delilah | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:52pm EST

Bad news. The brains in the evidence room are missing.

51. Delilah

view all by Delilah | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:53pm EST

You can cooperate and hand over your brain now, or we can haul your butt downtown and just take your plump, juicy brain.

52. Delilah

view all by Delilah | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:54pm EST

Got Brains?

53. Delilah

view all by Delilah | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:56pm EST

Brains, it's what's for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. And... get over here, meatbag!

54. Delilah

view all by Delilah | Thursday February 12, 2009 09:59pm EST

We're not the smurfs you're looking for.

55. J M McDermott

Friday February 13, 2009 01:54pm EST

"You have the right to remain dead. If you refuse that right..."

56. R.Fife

view all by R.Fife | Friday February 13, 2009 02:36pm EST

What was the harm? The County Coronor could pay his subprime morgage with the Civil Servant Referal Bonus, and the zombies just seemed to enjoy it so darn much!