Tor.com content by

Leah Schnelbach

Last Christmas, I Gave Kali Ma My Heart: The Religious Relics of Temple of Doom

The main Indiana Jones trilogy is essentially a conversion narrative in which the hero never converts… which is a little strange. Why bother with that narrative if you’re not going to fulfill it? Indy also exists in a universe where all the religions are seemingly true, based on the very real powers each movie’s main artifact displays. Here is the second of three (lengthy!) posts exploring the weird religious universe that the first three Indiana Jones films create.

In my last installment, I tackled Raiders of the Lost Ark’s big relic, the Ark of the Covenant, and hopefully avoided getting zapped by the wrath of Yahweh. Now I’m inflating an improbable life raft and diving straight into the Hinduism of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom! I’m going to look at the ways the film uses real-life artifacts, and try my best not to talk about chilled monkey brains. I mean, come on, movie.

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What’s In the Box? The Religious Relics of Raiders of the Lost Ark

Like many people born during our secular age, my primary religious instruction came from the media in general, and specifically, the best possible source: Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. I learned that all religions are essentially equal, that practitioners of different faiths are all worthy of respect, and that God can melt the faces off of Nazis. It was seeing Last Crusade in middle school that first got me interested in studying religion academically.

Now, a few years and a small mountain of academic training later, I look back at the Indy movies and am struck by two weird things: The main Indy trilogy is essentially a conversion narrative in which the hero never converts…which is a little strange. But second (and maybe this is the reason he never converts?): he exists in a universe where all the religions are seemingly true, based on the very real powers each movie’s main artifact displays. I’m going to spend three (lengthy!) posts exploring the weird religious universe that the first three Indiana Jones films create.

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Christmas in the Stars: Aliens Encounter the Holidays!

Lots of shows decide they need a little Christmas come December, but they’re not quite sure how to do it. Do you talk about the big Jesus-shaped elephant in the room? Do you just focus on Santa? Do you, I don’t know, cast Juliana Hatfield as an angel or make miracles happen on Walker, Texas Ranger?

This late-December urge becomes extra fun when sci-fi shows try it—they don’t actually want to deal with the religious aspect of Christmas, but they still have to find a way to explain Santa and presents (and maybe just a dash of Christianity) to aliens who are already confused enough just trying to deal with humans. So most of them fall back on humans teaching aliens about “goodwill” or “being kind to others.” This leads to some amazing moments, as we’ll see.

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You Can’t Avoid Emotional Shrapnel in The Expanse: “Remember the Cant”

The Expanse‘s third episode, “Remember the Cant” might be the best so far. It pulls off a great balancing act between its three very different threads. If it can do this every week we’ll be in for a great, taut series. When we rejoin the narrative, we see immediately that Holden’s message got out, because its blasting out from every video wall in Ceres. For a second this seems like a solid Yayyy!!!!, but on a show like this nothing is that simple. The next hour follows the shrapnel that the Cant’s sabotage has shot through each of the show’s threads.

[Remember the Cant!]

The Ten Best Christmas Miracles in TV History

So when you’re watching Christmas on TV, there are usually only a few plots to contend with. There’s your “update of A Christmas Carol / It’s a Wonderful Life / Gift of the Magi“—all solid Yuletide choices. There’s your “codger or child learns the true meaning of Christmas” option. And there’s your “Christmas is saved by a real, bona fide, inexplicable miracle” plot. I’m most intrigued by this last category; since Christmas has many different traditions tied to it, these miracles can come from some conception of the Christian God, or they can come from Santa, or they can just come from some sort of vague universal force that wants to be nice to people on holidays. So in honor of the season, I’ve rounded up ten of my favorite Christmas miracles.

[The True Meaning Of Christmas will be televised]

The Expanse: “The Big Empty” Focuses on Character Rather than Action

Sophomore slump normally applies to entire works of art—when a wunderkind releases an amazing debut novel/movie/album, and then their second project, even if it’s great on its own merits, can’t live up to the first. Unfortunately, the second episode of Syfy’s The Expanse shows a little bit of sophomore slump. There are two reasons for that—one’s a boring personal reason, but the other reason is actually integral to what makes the show work so well, and part of why I definitely want to keep watching.

[Nuanced Character Development IN SPAAAAAAACE]

I Am Catwoman, Hear Me Roar

Batman Returns has become a perennial Christmas favorite of mine. It serves as a yearly shot of pure, sex-positive, unapologetic feminism, and it goes great with spiked nog. This year as I looked back at this 24-year-old movie, I remembered how revolutionary Selina Kyle felt to me watching it in the theater, and how I was sure there would be other fictional women who would resonate for me. But I have to think long and hard before I come up with any. Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman went back to the Miller prostitute/thief role; Halle Berry’s is best not spoken of. And if you don’t mind me jumping comics worlds: we’ve checked in with Natasha Romanov in four separate MCU movies, but we’ve never gotten an exploration of her inner life that matches that scene in Selina’s apartment; Gamora would never say anything as dark and interesting and weird as “We’re gonna have a hot time in the old town tonight”; Pepper Potts may have had superhumandom forced on her, but she had to borrow one of Tony’s suits rather than making her own.

What, then, made Selina Kyle and Batman Returns so special?

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Syfy’s Childhood’s End Updates a Classic to Ask Big Questions

Childhood’s End is coming to Syfy as a three-night event beginning December 14th and starring Mike Vogel, Charles Dance, and Colm Meaney. I was fortunate enough to see an early screening of the first episode, and I’ve tried to gather a few non-spoilery thoughts about it, as well as a few of the highlights from the panel that followed the screening. While I found it a little choppy at times, I thought this opening episode set up an intriguing premise that will be compelling for those who haven’t read the book, as well Arthur C. Clarke fans who have wanted to see this story brought to the screen. Check out our non-spoiler review!

[Would you trust an alien who sounded like Charles Dance?]

Patrick Rothfuss, Dan Harmon, and Justin Roiland will Join the MST3K Revival!

Yesterday brought a flood of MST3K news as guest writers were announced, and while we danced about in excited glee for Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland, we were struck by a slightly more left-field writer: Patrick Rothfuss? That Patrick Rothfuss, with the Name and the Wind and whatnot? Yes, that one! Hodgson announced that Rothfuss “has offered to have a ‘story breakfast’ with me and go over ‘story beats’ for the next series” and what’s more, a few backers might get the chance to join in said breakfast. Hodgson has also added Nell Scovell, who has written for everything from Spy magazine to The Simpsons to CharmedReady Player One author Ernest Cline, future-LEGO-sequel-director Rob Schrab, and longtime Simpsons writer Dana Gould. This is shaping up to be an incredible pool of talent, and we can’t wait to see what everyone brings to the new show!

Veteran MSTies will also be filled with joy to hear that composer Charlie Erickson will be back to write some music (but this time he’ll be joined by “Let It Go” and Book of Mormon co-writer Robert Lopez, and Paul & Storm!), plus we’ll see the return of Prop Diva Beez McKeever, makeup artist Crist Ballas, and the demon Pitch himself, writer Paul Chaplin! We currently have movie sign for nine more episodes of MST3K, but the campaign doesn’t end until tomorrow, so, if you’ve been waiting until the last minute, in the immortal words of Stanley Spadowski: THIS IS THE LAST MINUTE! Joel Hodgson will host a live telethon for the last five hours of the Kickstarter campaign, to cap this experiment off in the best possible retro TV style, so there’s your Friday night sorted.

[via Splitsider!]

A Humble Suggestion that You Add ADBC: A Rock Opera to Your Regular Holiday Viewing

Every year, people who get paid to write on the internet celebrate a very strange ritual: we try to dig up obscure Christmas specials, or find new angles on popular ones. Thus, we receive epic takedowns of Love Actually; assertions that not only is Die Hard a Christmas movie, it’s the best Christmas movie; and the annual realization that Alf’s Special Christmas is an atrocity. These are all worthy specials, deserving of your limited holiday media time. However, I have not come here to ask you to reconsider anything, or to tell you that something you watch each December 24th is actually garbage—I am here to offer you a gift.

The gift of ADBC: A Rock Opera.

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See 1,705 Exoplanets in Orbit All at Once

One of the great traditions of science fiction has been the imagining of planets far beyond our own solar system. Authors and filmmakers allowed their imaginations to run wild, bringing us exotic topographies, twin suns, and the occasional terrifying mountain of water. It’s easy to forget that it wasn’t until 1988 that we discovered our first factual exoplanet. We’ve done some serious catching up since then: last month NASA dropped the science that, after a massive Kepler haul of 715 previously unknown planets, we are now aware of 1,771 exoplanets. (at least two of which actually meet our sci-fi expectations.

Since most of these planets are too far away to be seen, a helpful animator named astrocubs has created a gorgeous animation to approximate their orbits.

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Push the Button, Patton!

We have (another) Mad! In a wonderful merging of my theory and the AV Club’s, that last “Patton Oswalt-shaped” silhouette on the MST3K Kickstarter page has indeed been filled with Patton Oswalt…but he’s going to be TV’s Frank’s son! Or, to call him by his proper moniker: TV’s Son of TV’s Frank!

Will he bubble over with Frank-esque enthusiasm? Or will he be sullen, forced to follow in his old man’s henchman footsteps?

[Will he share his father’s love of Squanto?]

Syfy’s Childhood’s End Updates a Classic to Ask Big Questions

Childhood’s End is coming to Syfy as a three-night event beginning December 14th and starring Mike Vogel, Charles Dance, and Colm Meaney. I was fortunate enough to see an early screening of the first episode, and I’ve tried to gather a few non-spoilery thoughts about it, as well as a few of the highlights from the panel that followed the screening. While I found it a little choppy at times, I thought this opening episode set up an intriguing premise that will be compelling for those who haven’t read the book, as well Arthur C. Clarke fans who have wanted to see this story brought to the screen. Check out our non-spoiler review!

[Would you trust an alien who sounded like Charles Dance?]

C.S. Lewis: Moral Fantasist

C.S. Lewis had three different lives professionally. He was an academic, a medievalist who taught at both Oxford and Cambridge and published extensively in his field. (His book Allegory of Love still considered a classic). He was also a Christian Apologist and lay-theologian, with works like Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Screwtape Letters exploring faith and doubt. Finally, the career that made him famous and became his lasting legacy was that of a fantasy and science fiction author. His Chronicles of Narnia are classics of children’s literature, and have sparked devotion and serious exploration from authors like Philip Pullman, Neil Gaiman, and Lev Grossman.

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Series: On This Day