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Grady Hendrix

Fiction and Excerpts [1]
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Fiction and Excerpts [1]

Horrorstör (Excerpt)

|| Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking. To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they'll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.

Forgotten Bestsellers: The Ninth Configuration

Today’s bestsellers are tomorrow’s remainders and Forgotten Bestsellers will run for the next two weeks as a reminder that we were once all in a lather over books that people barely even remember anymore. Have we forgotten great works of literature? Or were these books never more than literary mayflies in the first place? What better time of year than the holiday season for us to remember that all flesh is dust and everything must die?

Hardly a bestseller, The Ninth Configuration is the first book blockbuster author William Peter Blatty published after the massive global success of his possession novel, The Exorcist. Most guys who write a bestselling novel about demonic possession, followed by an Academy-Award-winning adaptation of same, would follow up with the something similar, only different. Maybe this time the demon possesses a little boy instead of a little girl? Or a buffalo? But Blatty’s first book after the movie became an international phenomena was about the crisis of faith suffered by a minor character from The Exorcist. People came to The Exorcist for the pea soup vomit and the scares, but they tended to fast forward past the theological debates. Which makes it inexplicable that The Ninth Configuration is a book that’s almost nothing but those debates.

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Forgotten Bestsellers: Burnt Offerings

Today’s bestsellers are tomorrow’s remainders and Forgotten Bestsellers will run for the next four weeks as a reminder that we were once all in a lather over books that people barely even remember anymore. Have we forgotten great works of literature? Or were these books never more than literary mayflies in the first place? What better time of year than the holiday season for us to remember that all flesh is dust and everything must die?

The Seventies! High inflation! Rising unemployment! The Oil Crisis! Spiking energy prices! The Recession! Desegregation of Schools! Which led to white flight! High crime! The Son of Sam! Everyone was worried about money! Which is why the Seventies were the decade when the haunted house novel thrived. There was The Sentinel (’74) about a model who moves into a new house…from hell. There was The Shining (’77) about an economically strapped family that took a last chance job in a hotel…from hell. There was The Amityville Horror (’77) about an economically strapped family that got a real estate deal…from hell. There was The House Next Door (’78) about nouveau riche suburbanites who built the contemporary home…from hell. But it all started with Robert Marasco’s Burnt Offerings (’73) about a family that escapes the city to move into the summer rental…from hell.

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Forgotten Bestsellers: Koko by Peter Straub

Today’s bestsellers are tomorrow’s remainders and Forgotten Bestsellers will run for the next five weeks as a reminder that we were once all in a lather over books that people barely even remember anymore. Have we forgotten great works of literature? Or were these books never more than literary mayflies in the first place? What better time of year than the holiday season for us to remember that all flesh is dust and everything must die?

For years, I was more familiar with the striking colors on the cover of Peter Straub’s Koko than with its actual contents. Debuting on the New York Times Bestseller’s List in October, 1988, it stayed on the list for eight weeks, rising as high as number six, before disappearing in late November. It won the 1989 World Fantasy Award. In Donald Ringnalda’s Fighting and Writing the Vietnam War it’s called, “possibly the most intensive, complex exploration of the war’s imprint on the American psyche yet published,” and no less a horror personage than Laird Barron calls it “A black odyssey on par with Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian and Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness.”

But there was something unsavory and sensual about that cover with its green, eyeless face, and red, kissable lips that kept me away until this past summer when I finally read the old mass market paperback copy of Koko I had lying around, and decided that I would write this series of Forgotten Bestseller columns for Tor specifically so I could talk about it. Because Koko is a masterpiece.

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Forgotten Bestsellers: Coma by Robin Cook

Today’s bestsellers are tomorrow’s remainders and Forgotten Bestsellers will run for the next six weeks as a reminder that we were once all in a lather over books that people barely even remember anymore. Have we forgotten great works of literature? Or were these books never more than literary mayflies in the first place? What better time of year than the holiday season for us to remember that all flesh is dust and everything must die?

Everyone thinks they’ve read a Robin Cook novel.

BrainFeverOutbreakMutationToxinShockSeizure…an endless string of terse nouns splashed across paperback covers in airports everywhere. But just when you think you’ve got Robin Cook pegged, he throws a curveball by adding an adjective to his titles: Fatal Cure, Acceptable Risk, Mortal Fear, Harmful Intent. Cook is an ophthalmologist and an author, a man who has checked eyes and written bestsellers with equal frequency, but the one book to rule them all is Coma, his first big hit, written in 1977, which spawned a hit movie directed by Michael Crichton. With 34 books under his belt he is as inescapable as your annual eye appointment, but is he any good?

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Under the Dome: The Enemy Within

The final episode of Under the Dome is here and in the first few minutes of this rushed finale we see how far this show has come from being the simple story of some minor league TV actors trapped under a dome. Barbie is digging a grave in the forest.

Barbie: Dr. Bloom deserves a burial.

Julia Shumway: I know how hard this is for you. She was our last hope of finding a cure for your daughter.

Daughter? Cure? Dr. Bloom? Whut? Just two lines reveal how far we’ve strayed, so let’s take a listen to the opening monologue the way it should sound now…

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Under the Dome: Incandescence

Last week’s episode of Under the Dome, “Love is a Battlefield,” featured a scene in which Scarecrow Joe actually sings “Love is a Battlefield” at the top of his lungs while dancing, but despite containing such marvels I was unable to recap because I was curled up in a fetal position on the floor, chewing my knuckles and wailing because CBS had just announced that it was canceling Under the Dome. There were only three episodes left! Forever! How could I possibly enjoy watching Eva give birth to her alien slime baby, then throwing her doula through a window, before being murdered with a pillow by a singing Marg Helgenberger who seemed to be improvising her nonsensical Death Lullaby on the spot?

This calcifying Dome isn’t running out of oxygen! It’s running out of episodes! *sob*

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Under the Dome: Legacy

Sounding like the latest installment in the Highlander franchise (Highlander XII: Legacy) last night’s episode of UtD was a powerful reminder that the Dome is more than mere entertainment. Giving Marg Helgenberger the night off so she could visit a Palm Springs Lip Spa, the producers replaced her with another mid-90’s TV star, ER‘s Eriq La Salle, to show us that the Dome has a lot to teach humanity. Like where are Julia Shumway’s ears? Over the course of 10 episodes, they have remained completely hidden beneath her thick and shaggy red wig. Is she afraid of her ears? Did she lose her ears in a tragic sunglasses accident? Did someone say her ears looked fat and her hair has become a shame curtain? Only the Dome knows.

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Under the Dome: Plan B

“Every time I think this can’t get any worse, it does,” Julia says on the latest episode of Under the Dome and that’s exactly how I feel when I watch this show. But this week maybe we should change that to, “Every time I think this can’t get any worse, it gets sexy!” Because this week’s UtD was all about sexy times, and unprotected vaginas, and the wonders of childbirth, and abortions. They didn’t name this episode “Plan B” for nothing.

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The Great Stephen King Reread: From a Buick 8

The sun is dying, the stars are going out, the dark is rising, and this portion of the re-read is coming to an end with Stephen King’s From a Buick 8.

Why did I skip Everything’s Eventual, his short story collection that came out earlier in 2002? Mostly because I forgot, but also because I’m doing this reread in 10-book chunks and it made sense to end with Buick because rarely has King written a book that feels quite so much like he wants to pack it all up and limp away into the night, never to be heard from again.

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Series: The Great Stephen King Reread

The Great Stephen King Reread: Dreamcatcher

On June 19, 1999, Stephen King went for a walk. Bad idea. Bryan Smith was driving his van in the opposite direction and when his dog started getting into the cooler he turned around, swerved onto the shoulder of the road, and ran over King. The damage? Right kneecap—split down the middle. Left leg—broken in so many places it looked like “marbles in a sock.” Spine—chipped in 8 places. Ribs—4 broken. Surgeries—complicated and painful. Painkillers—necessary. Suddenly, Stephen King was Paul Sheldon.

Before the accident King had decided to get serious about his non-fiction book On Writing. He’d also promised Scribner From a Buick 8. But five months after the accident, leg in a painful brace, an addiction to Oxycontin starting to bubble in his veins, he sat down to write, hoping it might distract him from his pain. It was too painful to sit at his computer, so he picked up a pen and “Suddenly I had this huge, huge book…I didn’t think about the pain as much. It’s like being hypnotised.”

The book was all about what had happened to his body. It might have saved his life. It was called Dreamcatcher. A lot of it was about poop.

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Series: The Great Stephen King Reread

The Great Stephen King Reread: Hearts in Atlantis

Stephen King wasn’t messing around. His new publisher was getting double barreled capital L literature from the Viscount of Vomit. First there was the high-blown gothic, Bag of Bones, then came the small and spiritual Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, and now here was Hearts in Atlantis—a series of Linked Novellas. Could there be a literary form more twee and precious than Linked Novellas?

And these weren’t just any linked novellas, but linked novellas about the Sixties and the Vietnam War (which King missed due to his busted eardrums and flat feet) which is basically a core requirement to attain one’s Serious Man of Letters certificate. Scribner was so thrilled about what they received from their expensive new author that on the cover they simply wrote “New Fiction” rather than cluing readers in that this was either a novel told in parts, or Linked Novellas, or a collection of short stories. Hell, they probably didn’t even know themselves.

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Series: The Great Stephen King Reread

Under the Dome: “Ejecta”

This week, John Elvis, the actor who plays Skater Ben on Under the Dome, did an AMA on Reddit and someone asked him to pitch the show. Mr. Elvis wrote, “Pitch: The Simpsons movie, except Stephen King thought of it 15 years before. The GOOD bald guy on Breaking Bad is now the BAD bald guy. The Redhead from Twilight isn’t weird, and the dude from Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t a weenie that dies right at the beginning. The same people that made LOST make this show too. plus STEPHEN KING!!!! Drops Mic

But let’s say that mic had a mass of about 12,000 metric tons, and it was dropped at a speed of 60,000 km/h. It would impact the ground with a kinetic energy of 500 kilotons, generating a bright flash, releasing a hot cloud of dusty gas, and throwing debris into the air in a wide radius around the impact crater. This debris is known as ejecta… and that’s also the title of tonight’s episode! So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

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Under the Dome: “Caged”

Tonight’s episode of Under the Dome is brought to you by Prichard Farms Vienna Sausages: opening hearts, cell doors, and carotid arteries since 1963. At Prichard Farms, we make our smoked pig lips taste…mmmMMM…good! UtD used to have sponsors like Prius and Microsoft Tablets, but it looks like the show is finally running out of money and is resorting to sponsors like Prichard Farms to make ends meet.

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The Great Stephen King Reread: The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

Publishers have learned to be indulgent when their bestselling authors get bitten by the sports bug. In 2004, John Grisham published Bleachers and three years later he released his football novel, Playing for Pizza. In 1993, Tom Clancy became part-owner of the Baltimore Orioles. And in 1999, Stephen King suddenly decided that he wanted to publish a slim (for King) 244-page book called The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon.

At the time, Gordon was a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, and his new publisher, Scribner, probably decided that this was just a sports itch their new acquisition needed to scratch. “If books were babies, I’d call The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon the result of an unplanned pregnancy,” King said in a letter to the press, and Scribner decided to roll with it, eager to release anything from their new star, who definitely had some blockbusters in the pipeline once he got this Tom Gordon nonsense off his chest. Expecting something forgettable, instead they wound up publishing a small miracle.

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Series: The Great Stephen King Reread

Under the Dome: “Alaska”

Hey, Everyone! Remember that load-bearing column from last week’s show? And how Junior said it wasn’t a load-bearing column and knocked it out? Turns out it was actually a load-bearing column after all and this week it collapses, proving that old Chekhov dictum: if you cut a load-bearing column in half with your reciprocating saw in Act I, then in Act III it has to collapse so that everyone can blame the alien sex lady anthropologist for it.

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