Tor.com content by

Emily Asher-Perrin

Hamlet Makes Way More Sense as an Out-of-Control D&D Campaign

Hamlet can be frustrating to even the most discerning of theatre aficionados. Sure, it contains some of Shakespeare’s greatest soliloquies, but the plot is an awkward thing that seems to meander and fizzle and jump around oddly. And no one can seem to make up their minds about whether or not Hamlet is into his mom? The prince leaves for a long while and comes back later on? It’s all a bit much.

Until you realize that it was merely the result of an overzealous tabletop RPG.

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The Internet Combined The Force Awakens and Shrek to Make Kylo Ren Seem Sillier Than Ever

One of the most upsetting sequences in Star Wars: The Force Awakens is Poe Dameron’s torture at the hands of Kylo Ren. While it acts as an echo of Princess Leia’s torture at the hand’s of Darth Vader in A New Hope, TFA shows us more, making Poe’s pain immediate and frightening.

But in an alternate universe… Kylo Ren is in fact Lord Farquaad from Shrek, and everything changes.

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Beautiful Street Mural Honors SFF’s Heroines, Reminds Us “We Can Be Heroes”

In the words of the (hopefully) immortal David Bowie, “We can be heroes.” Artist/designer VictoryVague (Victoria Haigh) has taken up the cry to remind the women of the world that they have that power, too, with a gorgeous mural found by Twitter user KSully54. You can see the original post on Haigh’s VictoryVague Tumblr and Instagram.

The wall is a beautiful array of misfits, from the current set of Ghostbusters to Jessica Jones to Tank Girl to a mash-up of at least two Clone Club members to a couple of DC’s greatest superheroes.

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Twitter Gives Us All the Feels Over Fictional Deaths

The conversation pops back up now and again on Twitter, and the results are always devastating–if you ever need a good cry, just type in the hashtag #fictionaldeathsillnevergetover.

It’s fair to say that your average fan has a lengthy list, but here are a few that seem to crop up over and over… along with a few personal asides. (Some spoilers below, obviously, but nothing recent! There will be no spoiling of season finales!)

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Which SFF Character Would You Pick to Officiate Your Wedding?

The Telegraph has reported that Ian McKellen turned down 1.5 million dollars in 2013 to officiate Sean Parker’s (of Facebook and Napster) wedding. The Tolkien-themed nuptials could only have been elevated by the presence of McKellen, but it seems that the couple wanted him to dress as Gandalf for the proceedings, to which he replied: “I am sorry, Gandalf doesn’t do weddings.”

While it is easy to understand McKellen’s reticence, it does get one thinking… if you could pick any SFF character to officiate your wedding, who would you choose?

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Dream Casting Tom Bombadil for Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings

We were discussing Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings adaptations, and arguing the relative merits of the Extended Editions versus the Theatrical Releases. (Leah prefers Extended, Emily prefers Theatrical. We’re both correct.) Emily pointed out that there should have been a DVD extra of Bombadil material, and then, naturally, that led to a dreamcasting of Bombadil. We gave ourselves a few restrictions—these had to be people who would have fit the role in 1999/2000, when they would have been hired for The Fellowship of the Ring, and all of the actors have been cast on the assumption that supermodel Claudia Schiffer is playing Goldberry…

So, hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties! Hobbits! Ponies all! Tor.com readers! We are fond of parties. Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together… or at least take a look at our picks, and tell us yours in the comments.

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Dune’s Kyle MacLachlan Explains the Plot of Dune Through Emojis

Twitter user @lifeofkeira asked actor Kyle MacLachlan for an explanation of Dune, given his expertise having played Paul Atreides in David Lynch’s 1984 film. MacLachlan proved himself a master of emoji-plots by rendering the whole tale in the tiny pictograms, thereby cementing his position as Your Favorite Person On the Internet Right Now. I think the pepper icon for “spice” might make the whole thing.

*starts chanting ‘Muad’Dib! Muad’Dib!’*

The Real Tragedy of Suicide Squad is That Everyone In It Just Wants to Be Normal

After the critical bomb that was Batman v Superman, DC was counting on Suicide Squad to help them save face, going so far as to send the film back into reshoots with rumors of lightening the tone. (It’s important to note that these rumors have not been substantiated, with most of the cast saying that they went back to film more action sequences.) But it seems doubtful that any amount of finicking could have saved Suicide Squad, a film that uses its “dark” content as an excuse to insult its audience’s intelligence on practically every level.

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