“Read My Lips”
Story by Alan Burnett, Michael Reaves
Teleplay by Joe R. Lansdale
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Episode #064
Music Composed by Shirley Walker
Animation by Tokyo Movie Shinsha Co.
Original Airdate—May 10^th, 1992

Plot: Batman discovers the mastermind behind a string of perfectly planned heists is a ventriloquism dummy, Scarface

[Evil doll and evil dolls]

“Spiral,” by Steven S. DeKnight

“Spiral” is one of those episodes that starts right where its predecessor left off. Dawn’s secret has been exposed, and so Buffy scoops her up and runs like a terrified antelope. It shouldn’t work, but Willow slows Glory briefly. Then, after running at super-blurry cheetah speed to catch up with them, she foolishly pauses for the traditional pre-victory exchange of taunts... in the middle of a busy road.

This turns out badly for Glory when a big truck smashes right into her, and very well indeed for Buffy when the impact then causes Ben to take over custody of the shared BenGlorious bod. It’s nice for us because we get Ben in a dress again. There are worse things, though it’s not a fabulous dress.

[Read More...]

“Dax”
Written by Peter Allan Fields and D.C. Fontana
Directed by David Carson
Season 1, Episode 7
Production episode 40511-408
Original air date: February 14, 1993
Stardate: 46910.1

Station log: Dax and Bashir are having dinner. Bashir is flirting aggressively, and Dax is studiously ignoring his advances. Dax excuses herself; Bashir offers to walk her to her quarters, which she says isn’t necessary. After she goes off, Bashir grins and rationalizes that not necessary means not forbidden, either, thus cementing his skills as a stalker.

He turns a corner to see Dax struggling with two thugs in hoods. Rather than call security, Bashir instead wades in, clubbing the thugs’ boss in the jaw and then getting his ass kicked by those same thugs. Dax does try to struggle free, and also tries to call for help, but it’s for naught. By the time Bashir comes to and it finally occurs to him to use the combadge that’s right there on his chest, Dax and the kidnappers are gone.

[Which not only compromises Bajoran security, but also... annoys us.]

Season 8, Episodes 20 and 21: “Essence”/“Existence”
Original Airdates: May 13 and May 20, 2001

If it seems like we keep ending eras, we do. We do keep ending eras. We’ve said goodbye to the Consortium, and we’ve said goodbye to regular appearances from Agent Mulder, and, well, you know. It’s been a lot of change, a lot of goodbyes, and honestly I think we’ve handled it pretty well! But you guys, I hate to break it to you, we’ve got to do it again. We’ve got to say goodbye to the show as we know it, to the show that’s about Mulder and Scully solving cases together. This is it. This is the end of that. Are you ready? Better yet: is the show ready?

[I just felt a contraction.]

“Q-Less”
Written by Hannah Louise Shearer and Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Directed by Paul Lynch
Season 1, Episode 6
Production episode 40511-407
Original air date: February 7, 1993
Stardate: 46531.2

Station log: Bashir is hitting on a pretty Bajoran woman in the replimat. At the next table over O’Brien is rolling his eyes and snarfing on his coffee. To Bashir and the woman’s disappointment, and O’Brien’s great relief, they’re interrupted by a summons to a runabout landing pad. The Ganges spent too long out of coverage, and their battery is drained of power, and Dax forgot to pack the USB charger. They barely made it to the station. Dax and Ensign Pauley are trapped inside, and they can’t get the door open. Confusing the issue is that Bashir is reading three lifesigns. (Further confusing the issue is the fact that the station has transporter technology, and they could just beam the people off the runabout, but we’ll let that go.)

O’Brien plugs in a charger, and they get the door open. The chief recognizes the third passenger as Vash, who’s been in the Gamma Quadrant for two years. “A friend dropped me off,” she says offhandedly, and as they escort Dax, Pauley, and Vash to the infirmary, we get a look at Q hiding in the background. (Amusingly, Vash doesn’t recognize O’Brien at first. Nobody ever pays attention to the transporter operator...)

[Still chasing your own tail?]

“His Silicon Soul”
Written by Marty Isenberg, Robert N. Skir
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Episode #060
Music Composed by Carl Johnson, Harvey R. Cohen
Animation by Dong Yang Animation Co., LTD.
Original Airdate—November 20th, 1992

Plot:“Batman” wakes up in a crate, and quickly discovers he’s actually a robot duplicate, created by the supercomputer HARDAC as a back up plan to take over the world

[Machine that thinks he’s a man... and a man that thinks he’s a god]

“Tough Love,” written  by Rebecca Rand Kirshner

With Joyce gone and the weight of the Dawn on her shoulders, Buffy has conceded to the inevitable: she has to drop out of university. “Tough Love” opens as she’s expressing her regret over this turn of events to her poetry professor.

She’s not the only one racking up personal losses. Ben has been missing for two weeks, and his supervisor at the hospital seems to consider this a firing offence. Which: fair enough. He is a doctor, after all.

Ben only gets a moment to savor that sense of having been cheated of his dreams before Glory takes him over again. He fights the transformation, but fails. The Goddess is back and, she says, she is hungry.

[Read More...]

“Captive Pursuit”
Written by Jill Sherman Donner and Michael Piller
Directed by Corey Allen
Season 1, Episode 5
Production episode 40511-406
Original air date: January 31, 1993
Stardate: 46477.5

Station log: A dabo girl brings a complaint to Sisko about Quark sexually harassing her, though she also admits that said harassment is actually part of her employment contract with Quark. Sisko promises to deal with it, but before he can do so, an unidentified ship comes through the wormhole. It’s a single-person vessel, which is badly damaged. The occupant refuses to abandon his ship, but O’Brien is able to tow him in (and talk him through it). Given how skittish the guy is, Sisko suggests O’Brien meet him alone at the airlock.

O’Brien boards the ship. Once the occupant comes out of hiding—he has a personal cloak—he identifies himself as Tosk, which is apparently both his name and his species. O’Brien promises to fix the ship, assuming Tosk will help him figure out how it all works.

[Don’t call me barkeep!]

Season 8, Episode 18: “Vienen”
Original Airdate: April 29, 2001

This is an episode about Fox Mulder and John Doggett, and how the former decided to stop being a jerk to the latter. Was a time when Mulder would never ever stop being a jerk to a tough-jawed interloper like Doggett, but also was a time when the actor playing Mulder wasn’t working super-hard to get off the show. And so. It is not a surprise, to watch Mulder release the X-Files into the care of another. It is, however, a little bittersweet.

[How about a twenty count?]

“Babel”
Written by Sally Caves and Ira Steven Behr and Michael McGreevy and Naren Shankar
Directed by Paul Lynch
Season 1, Episode 4
Production episode 40511-405
Original air date: January 24, 1993
Stardate: 46423.7

Station log: O’Brien is overwhelmed with work. People are trapped in an airlock, a cargo captain named Jaheel has been kept two days for repairs, the lab is emitting a high-pitched squeal, the navigation computer doesn’t work, and the replicators aren’t working right. It is that last repair that proves to be of note, as his maintenance activates a device that has been placed inside the replicator....

Business is very slow in Quark’s as his replicators are down—he’s on O’Brien’s waiting list for repairs. Unwilling to keep waiting, Quark hacks the station records and locates the replicators that have been fixed, then announces a celebration that the replicators have been “repaired” in order to lure customers back in.

[Honeymoon dolphin sky drum.]

“The Demon’s Quest, Part 1”

Written by Dennis O’Neil
Directed by Kevin Altieri
Episode #059

Music Composed by Michael McCuistion
Animation by Tokyo Movie Shinsha Co.
Original Airdate—May 3^rd, 1993

Plot: Robin disappears, and mystery man Ra’s al Ghul walks into the Batcave, telling Batman he can lead him to the man who took the Boy Wonder and Ra’s’s daughter, Talia.

[Batman faces a foe unlike any other]

“Intervention,” written  by Jane Espenson

One week after Joyce’s funeral, we open on a cozy domestic scene at the Summers home. Dinner is over, and Giles is helping with dishes. Buffy says that she and Dawn are getting into a routine. Naturally enough, Giles takes this as an opportunity to suggest she resume her super-uber Slayer training.

Buffy balks. Recent events have made her fear that she has become too emotionally shut off. Could all the killing, death, mayhem, slaughter, hospitalizations, betrayals, fire-setting, blood-letting, and demon-bludgeoning be to blame? She talks about her various recent failures to share, citing the break-up with Riley, her remoteness, last week, from Dawn, and finally admits she isn’t even sure if Joyce knew she loved her. “Maybe being the perfect slayer means not being able to love at all.”

[Read More...]

Season 8, Episode 16: “Three Words”
Original Airdate: April 8, 2001

Before you make yourself crazy about it, the three words are “fight the future.” A few years ago, it was a terrifically nonspecific subtitle for a movie. The future could have been anything, then—the work of the Consortium, the work of the aliens, the work of the aliens and the Consortium together—but with the Consortium gone, and with much of the mutual work wiped out, the future is one thing: invasion.

[You’re being paranoid, Mulder. Even for you.]

“A Man Alone”
Written by Gerald Sanford and Michael Piller
Directed by Paul Lynch
Season 1, Episode 3
Production episode 40511-403
Original air date: January 17, 1993
Stardate: 46421.5

Station log: Bashir tries to hit on Dax and crashes and burns rather spectacularly, especially since she already has supper plans with Sisko. Meanwhile, Odo and Quark gossip about various and sundry things, ranging from disquiet in the O’Brien home to Quark’s Bashir-like infatuation with Dax.

Odo recognizes a dabo player as Ibudan, a black marketer he put away for murdering a Cardassian officer who wanted a payoff to look the other way. He’s free now because the Bajoran provisional government doesn’t view killing a Cardassian as much of a crime. Odo tries to kick Ibudan out of Quark’s, which leads to a brawl that Sisko interrupts his meal with Dax to break up. Odo gives him 26 hours to leave the station. Sisko, however, won’t allow Odo to arbitrarily bend the rules; if Ibudan’s been released from prison, he’s free to be on the Promenade.

[Killing your clone is still murder.]

“Blind as a Bat”
Story by Mike Underwood, Len Wein
Teleplay by Len Wein
Directed by Dan Riba
Episode #058
Music composed by Steve Chesne, James Stemple
Animation by Studio Junio
Original Airdate—February 22^nd, 1993

Plot: The Penguin steals a military stealth helicopter and in the process temporarily blinds Bruce Wayne. To stop the Penguin from holding the city ransom, Batman eschews bedrest, uses experimental technology to help him see, and risks losing his sight forever.

[Batman should spend more time being blind and less time being a cyborg]

“Forever,” written and directed by Marti Noxon

There are no ‘previously on BtVS’ scenes last week, for reasons that are indelibly burned on our hearts. Only one thing happened and we all remember it, am I right?

So! “Forever” starts with a bit of a decoy action: Buffy’s in a room full of coffins, and we’re invited to imagine she’s doing something fun, like hunting bloodsucking fiends. Or... well, there’s not much in the way of other fun you can have in a room full of coffins. At least, not alone. I suppose nowadays if you had a good camera phone you could take some interesting selfies. 

(And put them on the internets. And get denied gainful employment, later, as a result...)

[Read More...]

“Past Prologue”
Written by Katharyn Powers
Directed by Winrich Kolbe
Season 1, Episode 2
Production episode 40511-404
Original air date: January 10, 1993
Stardate: unknown

Station log: Bashir is joined at the replimat by a Cardassian—the only one left on the station—named Garak, who owns the tailor shop on the Promenade. Bashir is a bit of a nervous wreck, as the rumors on the station are that Garak is a spy. After they’re done talking, Bashir runs to ops, now convinced that Garak is a spy and thinking that he’s getting to know Bashir to get Federation medical secrets—which he insists are safe with him, to Sisko’s amused relief.

Just when Bashir’s getting really silly—asking a pained O’Brien to put a monitoring device on him “just in case”—Kira interrupts with a Bajoran ship being pursued and fired upon by a Cardassian vessel. This does not fill Kira with warm fuzzies. Sisko warns the Cardassian off, while the Bajoran ship asks for emergency docking.

[“I think, Doctor, you could definitely use a new suit...”]

Season 8, Episodes 14 and 15: “This is Not Happening”/“Deadalive”
Original Airdates: February 25 and April 1, 2001

No, well, actually, it is happening. It’s happening, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Our show is getting older, and more frail. More forgetful, and more—somehow—nonsensical. These two episodes, the episodes in which Mulder returns! should be the boldest, and most wonderful. And somehow instead they are dull, and exhausting, and not half as mysterious as they would like to be.

[Hanging on to life by a thread.]

“Emissary”
Written by Rick Berman & Michael Piller
Directed by David Carson
Season 1, Episode 1
Production episode 40511-721
Original air date: January 3, 1993
Stardate: 46379.1

Station log: We start three years in the past, with the Battle of Wolf 359. Locutus of Borg—the assimilated Captain Jean-Luc Picard—requests Starfleet’s surrender. We see the battle from the POV of the first officer of the U.S.S. Saratoga, Lt. Commander Benjamin Sisko. The Saratoga’s shields are drained by the Borg, and the ship is quickly trashed. The captain is dead, and the warp core is going to go in four minutes. Sisko calls for evac, then goes to his quarters to find his young son Jake unconscious and his wife Jennifer dead. The tactical officer has to literally drag him away from Jennifer’s corpse. Sisko watches the Saratoga explode from the escape pod.

Jump ahead three years. Sisko is now a full commander and has been assigned to Station Deep Space 9 in orbit of Bajor. The Cardassian Union has withdrawn from Bajor and the provisional Bajoran government has asked the Federation’s assistance in administrating the space station. Jake isn’t thrilled about the new assignment—why can’t they live on the planet instead of some old space station?—but is placated by Sisko’s assurance that there’ll be other kids there.

[“I thought I’d say hello first and then take the office, but we can do it in any order you like.”]