A Memory of Light

The Wheel of Time Roundtable, Final Week: All Singing! All Dancing!

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Welcome to the final installment of the Wheel of Time Roundtable! In this weekly mini-series we’ve asked a panel of Wheel of Time experts a number of questions that look at the upcoming final volume in this long-running fantasy series: A Memory of Light and beyond.

We’ve looked at the threat of the Shadow, the threat of everybody else, postulated on what may happen after A Memory of Light, made a wishlist of things we want to see in the final book, and thought about what legacy the Wheel of Time will leave behind.

And you know what? We’re a bit tired of thinking right now, so in this final installment we’re going to imagine what The Wheel of Time:
The Musical!
would be like. Moo ha ha!


The “question” was:

Throw out some numbers from a Wheel of Time musical!


Leigh Butler:

  • I Got Sacrificed and Ferried To Avalon and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt [Rand]
  • Hound Dog [Perrin, Faile]
  • Lady Luck [Mat, Tuon]  (duh)
  • Mind the Gap… OF DEATH (The Traveling Song) [ensemble]
  • Dream a Little Dream A’dam On Me [duet, Moghedien and Mesaana]
  • Snakes and Foxes On A Motherf****ing Alternate Plane [Thom, Noal, Mat, Moiraine]
  • Stayin’ Alive (The Song) [The Bee Gees]
  • Seriously, The Bee Gees? [The Tinkers, ensemble]
  • Virtual Insanity [Ishamael/Moridin, Lews Therin, Rand]
  • I’m So Ronery [The Dark One]
  • La La La (I’m Not Listening) [The Creator]
  • Leave Me Alone [Lan]
  • Dammit [Lan]
  • Me and Him [Slayer]
  • Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves [Nynaeve, Elayne, Min, Egwene, Aviendha]
  • Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne cover) [Lanfear/Cyndane]
  • I’ve Got Something in My Front Pocket For You [Balthamel/Aran’gar]
  • Dead Man’s Party [Asmodean]
  • I’m Not Compensating For Anything At All [Taim]
  • Toxic [Padan Fain]


Matt Hatch:

  • Moghedien the Librarian
  • Elayne and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Rod
  • Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise
  • Supercallandorexpectingnarishmasobvious
  • My Lace Cuffs Will Go On
  • Look at Me, I’m Fain, I’m Mordeth, I’m Fain, I’m Mordeth
  • Fortuona Matata
  • Let’s go Fly a To’raken
  • Bore Necessities
  • Shaidar Haran and the Seven Trolloc
  • Perrin and the Faile
  • A Funny thing Happened on the Way to Tar Valon
  • Bair
  • Any Angreal Will Do
  • No One Mourns the Forsaken
  • The Nae’blis and I
  • Nae’blis on Their Minds
  • Total Eclipse of the Dragon
  • The Dragon and His Wives
  • Dancing Through Tear
  • Springtime for Ishy


Jason Denzel: Ya’ll are crazy. This is why I do film.


Leigh Butler writes this very site’s long-running and deep-cutting Wheel of Time Reread. (And the Song of Ice and Fire Read.)

Jason Denzel heads the internet’s premiere comprehensive Wheel of Time fansite: Dragonmount.

Matt Hatch heads the Wheel of Time online think tank: Theoryland.


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