It’s pretty obvious that comic book movies are enjoying a golden age, and as long as there are enough stuntmen to handle them all, the projects just keep on coming. Movie studios weren’t waiting for the grass to grow under Wolverine’s feet before they got engines rolling on sequels and spinoffs, and several other long-standing “in the works” projects with second-tier heroes are moving forward at speed. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman polishes her golden lasso, learns German, files her nails, and alphabetizes her receipts.
A quick roundup of the new and notable:
- To no one’s surprise, the Wolverine sequel was greenlit about two hours after the movie premiere. It will focus on the samurai period of Wolverine’s life. While waiting for Gambit to check his staff in at the airport and meet up with Logan, look for pointless cameos from a dozen other Marvel characters you only vaguely care about. Meanwhile, I will grumble forever that they only use this plotline after retconning Rogue back to grade school and totally blowing her X-Men trial by fire subplot. Good luck finding a second sidekick, pal!
- Especially since Deadpool got his own spinoff approved, so he won’t be playing fourth fiddle to your Canuck sideburns no-how. Boycotter engines are already revving, just in case.
- Not famous enough to snap up any of the A-list stable of heroes, Bradley Cooper is instead being considered for the Green Lantern. Moviegoers everywhere nod politely, try to remember where they’ve seen him.
- And apparently it was not, as I thought, an elaborate prank to distract Kenneth Branagh from making another Shakespeare adaptation: they’re really making the Thor movie! Branagh gives fanboys the world over a coronary by suggesting British actor Tom Hiddleston might be a contender for the role.
- And the Wonder Woman movie has been greenlit at last! Wait, no, sorry; I forgot women don’t get their own comic book movies. Look, we’re giving you Gwyneth Paltrow in a corset, okay? I mean, that’s practically a character arc! What more do you want?
These movies join the slew of comic-book adaptations already in production. I’d say more about the fact that the only female-helmed comic book movie this year is the Barbarella remake (sweet heavens deliver us), but I’m waiting in dread for the announcement that Marvel Divas has been greenlit for a Lifetime Channel miniseries. (Come on, you just know it’s coming.)