Hey, have you heard the one about the moon landing? Nah, this is a different one. A different moon conspiracy. Because that’s what we all need right now! Aliens. Explosions. Tidal waves? And also conspiracies? Welcome back to Moonfall, for which we already had one explodey trailer. Now we have another in which it once again appears that humanity is doomed, except it isn’t, because some very brave people are going to go fight the moon.
Here is an actual exchange from this trailer:
Samwell Tarly: “Are we dead?”
Orm the Ocean Master: “No, we are just inside the moon.”
Samwell Tarly: “That might be the greatest sentence anyone’s ever said.”
The trailers make this movie look like Terminator: Salvation, which is to say a movie in which everyone actually died in the first ten minutes and we’re all just hallucinating the rest of the story. (Killer robots don’t tap people on the shoulders so they can turn around and be politely murdered! They just do murders! End of story!) Whatever is on the moon is clearly capable of wiping out humanity in a very messy and unpleasant manner, but somehow! We scrappy humans! Will probably save the day! Maybe we’ll use a virus.
Moonfall is directed by expert disaster-master Roland Emmerich (The Day AfterTomorrow, 2012) and stars Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Halle Berry, Michael Peña, Charlie Plummer, Kelly Yu, and Donald Sutherland. The movie is still not about the moon from The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. It crashes into theaters on February 4, 2022.