There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Fit in the Trailer for Slaxx

We all knew those magical jeans from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants were too good to be true. But the trailer for Slaxx takes the promise of the perfect pair of jeans to a new and threatening place. And someone put a lot of thought into all the ways a pair of pants might do a murder.

This summary raises some questions, though:

A possessed pair of jeans is brought to life to punish the unscrupulous practices of a trendy clothing company. Shipped to the company’s flagship store, Slaxx proceeds to wreak carnage on staff locked in overnight to set up the new collection.

If the company has unscrupulous practices, why are (is? Is it “a Slaxx” or “the Slaxx,” plural, like jeans?) Slaxx murdering low-level staffers who probably just need to pay their rent? Shouldn’t these possessed jeans be sent to corporate headquarters? Clearly one of the store staffers is shady as hell, but leave the retail workers alone, Slaxx! Take your too-tight squeezes straight to the top!

It’s possible I’ve put too much thought into this. The mysteries of Slaxx will be cleared up when the movie premieres on Shudder on March 18th. Until then, perhaps we should all stick to leggings. Though they’ll probably get their own murder spree next.

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