The trailer for the Charlie’s Angels reboot is here, and you’re gonna want to sit down for this because it is, as they say, a ride.
To start off, it opens with Kristen Stewart tying up a man for stealing Humanitarian aid money (!) to the soundtrack of Janelle Monáe’s bisexual anthem, “Make Me Feel.” And honestly, they could have just ended it right there. But they don’t! In fact, there’s two whole minutes left, and it’s chock-ful of chase scenes! Cool coats! Deoxygenated brain stems! Wigs! Toys (read: explosives)! Exploding mints! The Devil Wears Prada closet scene but on steroids! Flirtatious conversations about phosphorus! Sky-diving! Kristen Stewart robbing people at spin class! Kristen Stewart as a horse jockey! Iconic catchphrases! Seriously, why are you still reading this? Go press play already.
Oh it gets even BETTER.
Kristen Stewart’s Charlie’s Angels character name is Sabina.
Her character’s name in the Totino’s SNL commercial is…Sabine.
Totino’s/Charlie’s Angels multiverse confirmed.