5 Ideas For a Lando Movie That Cannot Possibly Go Wrong

Obviously Solo: A Star Wars Story is about Han Solo—and we enjoyed it! Seeing Young Han was fun, and we loved the Easter eggs and squealed over Chewie and clapped with delight the first time the Millennium Falcon made an appearance.

BUT.

We all know who stole this show, and our hearts, and that man was Donald Glover as younger-but-still-unspeakably-suave Lando Calrissian. And as much as we’re a bit fatigued by this constant need to prequel and spin off every single story in recorded history, we honestly wouldn’t mind a Lando story. So, we’ve gathered some pitches.

Behold, movies (or television shows!) that should be thrown into production this instant:

 

Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu

Donald Glover Lando Calrissian spinoff movie Childish Gambino Mindharp of Sharu

Who’s to say that Lucasfilm wouldn’t dip into the Legends canon for some Lando inspiration? Here it comes from the 1983 novel that sees Lando running down a con with the prize of some life-crystals, but instead winding up the Bearer of the mysterious Mindharp. This adventure has everything: a forgotten advanced alien race, an instrument that can control every sentient being in the galaxy with one flick, a time-dilation pyramid… Adjust the timeline so it’s a post-Solo romp, zhuzh the MacGuffin so it’s less about a harp and more of an excuse to work in some Childish Gambino brilliance. Because we know that Lando raps and sings just as sweet as he talks.

 

The Bespin Chronicles

Sure we love Lando the adventurer, but what about Lando the put-upon Administrator of a gas mining colony? This pseudo-documentary follows Mr. Calrissian as he oversees the hiring of middle managers, develops an internship program, and weighs the pros and cons of an open office plan in the administrative headquarters of the Cloud City of Bespin. We’ve gotten to see Han meet Chewie, now we can finally learn how Lando found Lobot! Was it through a LinkedIn profile? A job fair? A friend of a friend? We’re seeing dozens of Lobot reaction shots, too—long, bemused gazes into the camera as Lando flaps around in his magnificent cape trying to lead team-building exercises with his staff.

And come on, you know you want to spend some time with the overworked HR department that has to deal with Lando Calrissian.

 

The Calrissian Caper

Lando, Solo: A Star Wars Story

Lando said he loved his mom, even if he didn’t have a great relationship with his dad. Which means that we need to see Lando’s mom. This is how it works, okay, show us Lando’s mom RIGHT NOW. And when we meet her (she’s probably played by Viola Davis or Alfre Woodard), they must do some kind of job together. Lando and his mom on a resort planet, sticking it to the rich and famous by conning them out of their money. Lando and his mom wearing matching capes. Lando and his mom drinking purple cocktails on a beach. Lando’s mom meeting Han, and acting all cool with him, and then as soon as Han leaves the room, she’s like “Baby, you need to get that boy out of your life, he is trouble.” Lando and his brilliant space mom and their heist book full of jobs they’ve always meant to get around to….

 

Frasier in Space

Lando Calrissian spinoff movie Frasier in Space Donald Glover SNL

We wish we came up with this, but it was Glover himself who voiced the dream we never knew we wanted:

Like, a high-end guy in space. All of these characters are very specific and they have very specific points of view, so it’s always going to be fun to see them traveling around to a planet that is the opposite of what they’re used to … And all of that seems like it would be fun to write, for sure.

But he had better sing the theme song: But I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and Hawk-bat eggs…

 

It’s Custom

OK, fine, this is a TV series, not a movie, but don’t you want a Project Runway-esque series following the trials and travails of young up-and-coming galactic designers, all vying for a shot at designing Lando’s capes? Look at them.

citation

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