There were a lot of blasts from the past making their appearances tonight and not just at the Tower of Joy.
Like that wily Three-Eyed Raven, this episode was quite the tease, but, oh, how this raises some fun questions.
Major episode spoilers ahead.
Spoilers for the currently published George R. R. Martin novels are discussed in the review and fair game in the comments. We highly suggest not discussing early preview chapters, but if you must, white it out. Have courtesy for the patient among us who are waiting and waiting (and waiting) for The Winds of Winter. Play nice. Thanks.
The first question I have: which of the Seven is watching over Ramsay Bolton, rewarding his every screw-up by dropping a new tactical advantage in his lap?
I hate this guy, and not just because he feeds babies to dogs (I mean, that’s a good reason, too)—he’s the luckiest fucker in Westeros. Him. Everyone else gets raped, slaughtered, exiled, enslaved, but this smirking asshole gets to be Warden of the North. Because Game of Thrones rewards jerks just to remind the audience that Westeros is a Tough Place. Or to make the audience scream in frustration. I can’t decide. But I’m impatient for Ramsay to get his because it’s tedious waiting for his inevitable demise.
Rickon (and Osha) were a well-kept secret. Except for Maisie Williams apparently spilling those beans in an interview I was lucky enough to miss. We knew Bran was returning, we knew in our heart of hearts that Jon Snow wasn’t dead, but did anyone guess Rickon was returning to the great game this season?
Will Ramsay’s demise come at the hand of a Stark, after all? This was a lot sooner than I was expecting to see Rickon. I wasn’t really expecting to ever see Rickon until the very end of the series, truth be told. So will Rickon be snipped like a loose thread or will he really become a player? Who will find him first? Sansa or Jon? Please, please let some Starks reunite.
Perhaps Grey Worm and Missandei can make small talk about this speculation? When they’re not working out how to hold off the leaders of the very pissed off cities of Yunkai, Astapor, and Volantis. Good thing Varys is there to help them and Tyrion handle their growing mess. Nothing you can’t do with some sarcasm and little birds.
Of course, it would probably be more helpful if Dany was back in Meereen and not awaiting a possible execution in Vaes Dothrak for not going into a forced early retirement after Khal Drogo’s death. Who says a woman can’t conquer the world without a khal at her side? Yeah, I think it’s pretty clear that Dany will teach these bitter widows some feminism. But what will she learn in turn from them? Surely it’s more than that she was naive in her young love. Dany’s said it before; she’s different because her dreams come true.
Will Varys find his aviary lacking, now that some of those little birds are bought by Qyburn? I’m glad absolutely nothing untoward happened with Qyburn and the little urchins. I’m so traumatized by this show, I expected those plums to be poisoned.
Blah, blah Cersei and Jaime posturing in King’s Landing. I’m just bored by this story. It’s like Dorne infected the South or something. The Lannisters are doing a lot of talking. Tonight, only Tommen was interesting, with his plea to the High Sparrow getting turned around on him. Does the Faith Militant have their ultimate ally in the boy king now? Tommen certainly seemed accepting of the gods’ council.
That probably won’t end well for anyone not on the side of Cersei, and by extension, the Mountain. Do we have to call him Ser Strong now? Everyone knows he’s Gregor Clegane. Why keep up the “disguise?”
And how shall Jon Snow be known, now that he has abandoned the Night’s Watch? Will he openly travel as Jon Snow? It’s not quite as catchy as The Prince Who Was Promised, but either name will likely be dangerous for the newly revived half-Stark.
Meanwhile, in Braavos, Arya Stark is dead.
- RIP misguided but difficult-to-hate Alliser Thorne and Lil’
- RIP Shaggydog! That doesn’t bode well for Rickon, does it?
- RIP Ser Arthur Dayne, dead at the hands of Howland Reed fighting a little dirty so Ned could give the killing blow. You can see why honorable Eddard would edit that history just a bit. Interesting though. Could it hint at other secrets Edd is keeping? (This is obvious to pretty much everyone but the Stark kids.) Bran must learn everything but not before episode 5, at least.
- STFU Maester Pycelle! I think it’d be in your best interest to never speak where Cersei and her protector can hear you.
- All hail Lord Commander Tollet! Countdown to an unfortunate natural disaster to poop all over Edd’s reign in 3…2…1… Poor Edd.
- Of course Sam gets seasick. He gets every dweeb trope. You know, I’m reminded of a different fat, awkward Sam who eventually got braver on his quest to help his best bud. It’s time for this Sam to step up and not be such a simpering dork.
- I misheard Grey Worm’s favorite topic as “Patrón.” That would be a very different Grey Worm, indeed. One more fun for Tyrion.
- Melisandre looked as shocked to see Jon Snow alive as Davos did. Notice her hair remained red, not gray. She still has enough power (or her jewel does) after the spell to maintain her glamour.
- Next week: Littlefinger! Sweetrobin! Theon has teleported to Pyke somehow, bypassing all Northern strife.
Game of Thrones airs Sunday nights at 9PM E/PT on HBO.