Ever wondered if you could beat up any of the main characters from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? Wonder no more! Tumblr user Sheva The Gun has played out a fight scenario with each crew member (and then the other main characters) and come to an unquestionably logical conclusion in each case.
End Fight Probability: There is a 100% chance Sisko knocks you out.
Sisko’s a survivor, man. He’s Space Dad. Why you even tryin’ to fight your space dad? Sisko has fought almost everyone he’s ever met and triumphed astoundingly. He literally punched Q in the face. He is a goddamn hero. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Sisko.
For Sisko’s writer son Jake:
End Fight Probability: There is a 250% chance his dad shows up and knocks you out.
No, Jake probably can’t take you. He’s a bow-legged writer type with weak arms and no practical fighting skills. But the minute his daddy senses something amiss, he’s gonna be on you like a beautiful, well-muscled [scent]hound on a scared, dumb raccoon who picks fights with children. Fight Jake at your peril, friend.
Check out the post to see your changes against everyone else. Ultimately, as The Dominion/Cardassians/Maquis/everyone knows: Don’t do it. Don’t fight Deep Space Nine.