Which Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Crewmember Could You Beat Up?

Ever wondered if you could beat up any of the main characters from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? Wonder no more! Tumblr user Sheva The Gun has played out a fight scenario with each crew member (and then the other main characters) and come to an unquestionably logical conclusion in each case.

For Sisko:

End Fight Probability: There is a 100% chance Sisko knocks you out.

Sisko’s a survivor, man. He’s Space Dad. Why you even tryin’ to fight your space dad? Sisko has fought almost everyone he’s ever met and triumphed astoundingly. He literally punched Q in the face. He is a goddamn hero. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Sisko.

For Sisko’s writer son Jake:

End Fight Probability: There is a 250% chance his dad shows up and knocks you out.

No, Jake probably can’t take you. He’s a bow-legged writer type with weak arms and no practical fighting skills. But the minute his daddy senses something amiss, he’s gonna be on you like a beautiful, well-muscled [scent]hound on a scared, dumb raccoon who picks fights with children. Fight Jake at your peril, friend.

Check out the post to see your changes against everyone else. Ultimately, as The Dominion/Cardassians/Maquis/everyone knows: Don’t do it. Don’t fight Deep Space Nine.

[via Metafilter]

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