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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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Tor.com is proud to announce the winners of the first annual Dinosaur Awards! The proud tradition of the Dinosaur Awards began in 2015 when local malcontent Chris Lough mispronounced the title of Victor Milán’s The Dinosaur Lords. The awards were presented on whatever day this article goes up, during a short, respectful ceremony up in the Tor.com production office.

Congratulations to the winners and nominees! You’ve all been dead for millions of years.

Before we begin, let us remember the dinosaurs we lost this year. (Spoilers for Jurassic World, if you haven’t seen it.)

 

2015 Dinosaur Awards
Winners and Nominees

Winners are in bold.

Most Spiky

Stygimoloch
Ankylosaurus
Edmontonia
Stegosaurus
Triceratops

Stygimoloch is essentially a smaller, punk-rock Pachycephalosaurus
Stygimoloch is essentially a smaller, punk-rock Pachycephalosaurus

 

Tallest Dino

Sauroposeidon
Ankylosaurus
Brachiosaurus
Brontosaurus
Seismodon

Sauroposeidon towers above this tiny, insignificant human
Sauroposeidon towers above this tiny, insignificant human

Note: This is Sauroposeidon’s 15th straight win.

 

Prettiest Feathers

Enigmosaurus
Ankylosaurus
Gallimimus
Jimmy Buffett
Sinosauropteryx
Velociraptor
Yutyrannus

Accepting the award ins Enigmosaurus' cousin, Alxasaurus
Accepting the award is Enigmosaurus’ cousin, Alxasaurus

 

Best Non-Lethal Body Feature

Ankylosaurus (Armor plating)
Brachiosaurus (Head crest)
Tyrannosaurus Rex (Tiny arms)
Wannanosaurus (Head dome)

 

Friendliest Dinosaur

Baby Triceratops (Jurassic World)
Ankylosaurus
Baby (Dinosaurs)
Blue (Jurassic World)
Ducky (The Land Before Time)
Gertie (Gertie the Dinosaur)
Rex (We’re Back)
Yoshi (Super Mario World)

baby-triceratops
The Gentle Giants Petting Zoo was the only safe attraction at Jurassic World

 

Herbivore of the Year

Brontosaurus
Ankylosaurus
Brachiosaur
Chilesaurus
Hadrosaurus
Iguanadon

In your FACE, Apatosaurus!

 

 

Carnivore of the Year

Tyrannosaurus Rex
Ankylosaurus
Compsognathus
Deinonychus
Qianzhousaurus

trex-jurassicpark
Hail to the King, baby

 

Best Not-Dinosaur

Mosasaurus
Ankylosaurus
Dimetrodon
Pteranodon
Indominus Rex
Loch Ness Monster

jurassic-world-mosasaurus

 

Best Post-Death Museum Display

Sue (Field Museum)
Ankylosaurus
“Dinosaurs in Their Time”  (Carnegie Museum)
Prattkeeping

Sue Field Museum
New best friend?

 

Rookie of the Year, awarded to the best newly discovered dinosaur

Dreadnoughtus
Zhenyuanlong
Chilesaurus
Wendiceratops

dreadnoughtus

 

The Muldoon Memorial “Clever Girl” Award

Awarded annually to the dinosaur that sneaks around us and captures our hearts! (Before possibly opening our bowels.)

Gertie (Gertie the Dinosaur)
Ankylosaurus
The Sinclairs (Dinosaurs)
Mosasaurus (Jurassic World)

 gertie-swaying

That’s it for this year’s Dinosaur Awards! Join us next year when Chris finds a creative way to mispronounce The Dinosaur Knights, the sequel to Victor Milán’s new book The Dinosaur Lords!

Header image from that amazing Walking With Dinosaurs animatronic show.
Stygimoloch image from Dinosaurios.org.
Sauroposeidon comparison image by Wikimedia user LadyofHats.
Axalsaurus image by Wikimedia user Conty.
Ankylosaurus image from DinoPark in Vyškov, Czech Republic.
Brontosaurus painting by Charles Knight, 1897.
Gertie the Dinosaur animation by Windsor McKay, 1914.

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Stubby the Rocket

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