Someone is Trying to Make an Actual Tetris Action Movie

What started out as a hilarious-because-it-should-never-happen joke is coming true: Tetris is being made into a movie. Yes, the Russian video game, and yes, a feature film.

Your first thought might be that this could turn into some sort of War Games remake centered around the deceptively easy blocks game, but that’s too subtle for this group. No, it’s going to be a “very big, epic sci-fi movie.” We should already start bracing ourselves for another Transformers or Battleship.

Interestingly, the studio adapting (if you can even call it that) Tetris is Threshold Entertainment, a relative unknown. Their major claim to fame is the Mortal Kombat movies and several CGI movies at theme parks. Threshold CEO Larry Kasanoff explains what they’re going for this time around:

It’s a very big, epic sci-fi movie. This isn’t a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We’re not giving feet to the geometric shapes.

Threshold shouldn’t be so quick to abandon the original game itself. While it clearly can’t carry an entire movie, it could make for a harrowing Act 3 scene. If we’re being honest, the “best” part of Battleship was when they actually played Battleship against the aliens.

Anyway, Kasanoff kind of contradicts himself in this next quote:

Brands are the new stars of Hollywood. We have a story behind Tetris which makes it a much more imaginative thing.

At least he’s honest. But, back to the sci-fi:

What you [will] see in Tetris is the teeny tip of an iceberg that has intergalactic significance.

So… basically this?

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