Marvel utterly shocked fans at San Diego Comic-Con last month when they unveiled the first trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron. If you read our liveblog, you know why. But if tweet reactions aren’t detailed enough for you, we’ve found a few videos giving the blow-by-blow (literally) of the insane turn Joss Whedon’s sequel is taking, including one that, in the absence of visuals, sketches out the action via storyboard.
YouTuber Jahaziel Brito helpfully storyboarded the footage, so you can get a sense of the who-what-and-where of this fast-paced trailer:
Unfortunately, the subtitles are in Spanish, and the crowd’s cheering drowns out much of the English on the video. If you don’t want to be consulting Google Translate every few seconds, check out this video with a near-complete English transcript. We’ve also written it all out for you below!
In typical Jossian fashion, the footage starts out wonderfully goofy, only to turn real dark real fast:
The Avengers are all hanging out at
StarkAvengers Tower, having a party and staring at Mjolnir.
Clint: “‘Whosoever, if he be worthy, shall have…’ Whatever, man, it’s a trick.”
Thor: “It is much more than that, my friend.”
Clint: “It’s a circus sideshow, and that is it, and you know it.”
Tony: “I want to be the first to attempt the challenge. If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?”
Thor: “Yes, of course.”
Tony: “I will be fair but firm, and maybe work out the Wench Clause.”
He tries to lift Mjolnir with his hands, and fails. Then he puts the Iron Man gloves on, and fails. Rhodey joins him with his Iron Man suit gloves on, but they still can’t budge it.
Rhodey: “It won’t work.”
Tony: “You think?”
Clint tries, and fails.
Bruce grips the hammer with both hands, but also can’t lift it. He mockingly pounds his chest, Hulk-mad-style, which gets him some iffy looks from the others.
Cap steps up.
Clint: “Come on, Cap.”
Though Steve can’t lift it, either, Mjolnir does shift slightly. Thor looks concerned. Natasha walks in somewhere at this point.
Natasha: “That’s not a question I need answering.”
Tony: “I’ve got a simple theory. Like a security code… Whosoever carries Thor’s fingerprints is, I think, the literal translation?”
Thor: “Yes, that’s a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one.“
He summons Mjolnir to his hand, grinning.
Thor: “You’re all not worthy.”
SCREECH! In crashes Ulron! He’s wearing broken armor and the Avengers logo on the left side of his chestpiece.
Ultron: “You? You are not. How could you be worthy? You’re all killers. You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change. There’s only one path to peace: your extinction.”
Two Ultron drones swoop in and hover toward the unarmed Avengers.
Ultron (voiceover): “I had a vision: the whole world, screaming for mercy. Everyone tangled in strings. Strings.”
Footage, set to a creepy nursery rhyme version of “I’ve Got No Strings” from Pinocchio: People running, some sort of military in the streets. Bruce Banner looking sick. Scarlet Witch on a train. Hawkeye (and Quicksilver, maybe?) helping people escape. Nick Fury in civilian clothes, looking worried. Andy Serkis (human, not CG, so he apparently has a role aside from motion capture?). A shirtless, confused Bruce walking through the snow, then in a hospital room. Black Widow racing through the streets on a motorbike. Thor smashing a tank.
Tony, looking stricken.
Tony: “It’s the end. The end of the path I started us on.”
Natasha: ”Nothing lasts forever.“
More images: Black Widow looking sad, running her hand along Hulk’s fist, which is inches from her face. An especially angry Hulk going up against Tony in the Hulkbuster suit. Thor choking Tony.
More of that creepy song! Until the montage gives way to an image of a more built-up, final version of Ultron, with glowing red eyes, turning to face the camera and growling…
Ultron: ”There are no strings on me.”
We see the Avengers: Age of Ultron logo.
But then!! The camera pans across a rocky surface (or is it rubble? at the bottom of a staircase?) of Cap’s shield broken in half. Tony is standing there, not in his Iron Man suit, staring at the shield. Then the camera pulls out to reveal the tattered, possibly dead (?!) bodies of the Avengers. Tony looks horrified and oh so guilty since, you know, he built Ultron.