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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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I’m a sucker for a TV party, so, as unexpected as last night’s big memorial party was, seeing as it’s only been three in-show days since the last Bon Temps gathering ended in mass casualties, any chance for lots of characters to bump up against (and/or stab) one another is cause for celebration.

So, yes, this was another human-centric and mostly not terrible episode of True Blood. And, like Andy Bellefleur, life in Louisiana marches forward. Just some people won’t be marching much longer.

And then the freaking Yakuza showed up. And True Blood was nauseating again.

Spoilers and saucy hand gestures after the katana cut…

Sookie

Time and tequila heal all wounds. Sookie spent most of the evening mourning Alcide, which I thought was nice. At least give the late werewolf an hour before we have to watch Sookie jump Bill’s bones. While I don’t quite agree that Sookie herself is a righteous cause worth dying for, whatever denial that gets Alcide’s dad through his grief is okay by me. As obnoxious as Sookie is, her own grieving process was a good heart for the episode. I especially enjoyed Arlene giving advice to Sookie, which set the stage for her last scene, post-party, alone in a too-empty house falling asleep in Alcide’s leather jacket.

It’s more of a goodbye than anything Tara got, dammit.

 

Bill

Glad to see HBO still getting some use out of those old Deadwood sets, though the past looked way too clean. I was wondering what the point of Bill’s pre-Civil War flashbacks were for, right up until the end when he revealed that he was infected with Hep-V. Will this war with the infected vamps be a lost cause like the last war he fought? I feel like it’d be really unfair if both Bill and Eric died before the finale, so I’m hoping that Bill being infected means that Sookie & co. will be forced to find a cure quickly.

Sadly, nothing about Bill’s flashbacks were as interesting as Eric’s last week.

 

Lettie Mae

Seriously? I still can’t believe that instead of Tara in the last season, we get her crappy mother. This will never be okay, not for all the choked-up toasts Lettie Mae gives. I don’t care if her Tara visions amount to something bigger at this point. Nothing about her is sympathetic, or maybe more accurately, trustworthy. Also she is the only person who wants Willa around. In short, fuck you, Lettie Mae.

 

True Blood Lost Cause

Pam and Eric

“Republi-cunt.” “We can be assholes.” Yeah, I think it’s pretty clear where Pam and Eric stand politically. These two are getting all of the fantastic costumes this season!

It was easy enough for Sarah Newlin to be tracked down, through her hot and sassy sister. I’m surprised the yakuza didn’t find Amber first. But I was really, really surprised by how bloodthirsty the Japanese gangsters were. It makes NO sense for them, a shadowy gang with a traditionally strict code of conduct and organization, to very casually and very publicly shoot up a fundraiser. It was actually sickening to watch a bunch of innocent people getting shot in the head for no reason. It’s not like the gangsters were trying to draw Sarah out or only target her parents or anything. It was cold-blooded murder. That’s not what I want on True Blood. Or any show, really.

And I bet Sarah managed to sneak away yet again.

 

Ginger

Damn, a squeaky slide off a travel coffin is her final appearance on the show after she so rocked it last week? Go out with some dignity, lady.

 

Andy

Andy fumbling over his words as he proposed to Holly was about the cutest thing to happen on this show in some time. And it’s about time. Though I guess it does kind of put a damper on Adilyn’s romance with her future stepbrother.

Andy’s also a bigger person than most, forgiving Jessica for what she did to his daughters. Sometimes True Blood just gets those human moments right.

 

True Blood Lost Cause

Lafayette and James

Oh, nice. Glad this situation finally boiled over. After Lala asked about James’ proclivities in a hilarious Lala-way—a dirty hand gesture—I was thinking “Get a room!” I had to amend it to “Get a car that your boyfriend didn’t buy with his girlfriend! Jeez!”

I loved Lafayette’s very meta defense of himself to Jessica and Jason. It was so spot-on. “Has it ever fucking occurred to you that Lafayette, that makes all you white heterosexuals laugh and feel good about themselves, that maybe I want a piece of happiness, too?” YES. It’s like he was reading people’s complaints when Jesus died.

 

Jessica

In defense of Jessica, James really wasn’t all that supportive of Jessica when she was literally being eaten alive by guilt. He basically whined that he wasn’t getting enough attention. So it’s really no big loss for Jessica when she gets it on with Jason again. Who, incidentally, also has a girlfriend so Jessica’s kind of a big ol’ undead hypocrite.

Yet I’m all for it. Only…

 

Violet

Ancient and sexy as hell, Violet’s got at least a hundred dead boyfriends and Jason is looking to be the one hundred and first. Also, she must play a long game because I was fully expecting her to lose her shit and destroy Jessica right then and there when she heard them having sex.

Girlfights, yakuza, and nudity. The stuff True Blood dreams are made of…

 

Next week: I take my annual trip to San Diego Comic-Con, but, alas, I won’t have a chance to gawk at Alexander Skarsgård in person as he’ll be filming Tarzan in the U.K. In other words, no review next week. Just occupy yourselves with thoughts of Alexander Skarsgård in a loincloth for two hours.

True Blood airs Sunday nights at 9 PM E/PT on HBO.


Theresa DeLucci is a regular contributor to Tor.com, covering TV and gaming news. She’s also a guest on the latest episode of Wired.com’s Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy podcast discussing Game of Thrones. And the resident Hannibal fannibal at Boing Boing. Follow her on Twitter @tdelucci

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