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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

Reactor

Mystery Science Theater 3000 might return to TV! Sort of! Maybe! Rifftrax, the Eastern Orthodox Church of MST3K founded by Mike Nelson in the wake of the Great Riffing Schism, is planning to make a series of television episodes for National Geographic. Our first reaction was, National Geographic??!! But then we saw the titles of the possible episodes—“Badass Dino Bird,” “Aggro Mantis Shrimp,” “Demon Bat” and “Man Vs. Balrog”—and, as we tend to do when Balrogs are mentioned, we got very excited.

But, much like the faces of those we’ve wronged swarming in the night, a harsh reality is lurking in the shadowsthis project is scheduled to start on April 1st. It’s got to be an April Fool’s day gag, right? Also, the show is called Total Riff-Off, which, while being an entirely appropriate pun, might also be foreshadowing of our disappointment? But wait! It seems like the Today Show has seen footage! We want this to be real, and we want it to happen immediately. So we’re just going to sit here and watch Moose Baby on a loop until the 1st.

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Stubby the Rocket

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