Winter is coming and with it the need for hats. Sorting hats, that is, to determine what Hogwarts house you would be in (if you weren’t already in a Westerosi house). If you are wondering if this stemmed from a random in-office discussion then you are correct! You must be a Ravenclaw.
Join us as we determine which house the Game of Thrones characters would get sorted into. So everyone can enjoy the game, we’ll be avoiding spoilers by sticking with characters from the first three seasons of the show.
Another note: we won’t be figuring out every single character’s Hogwarts house because there’s kind of a billion of them. We encourage readers to fill in the blanks in the comments!
The Stark family patriarch has as many kids as a Weasley and as much faith in the inherent goodness of people as a Dumbledore. If you push him he’s going to push back and odds are you’re not going to like how it turns out for you. He lasts as long as he can when surrounded by Slytherins, but in the end his faith that a Slytherin will keep his word is what proves to be his undoing.
He’s also probably good at Quidditch. Not that we’ll ever find out now.
Sold into slavery in exchange for an army, young Daenerys kept faith in herself and emerged as not only the general of said army but the only person in the world with dragons. Daenerys’s dragons herald the return of magic to the entire world and Daenerys herself continually parlays this into victories over those she wishes to conquer. And those she wishes to free.
But what does the future hold for Queen Daenerys? Can she rule without becoming a tyrant?
House: Gryffindor…for now.
King Robert Baratheon’s sneering, spiteful queen is nobody’s friend—not even pre-teen Sansa Stark is fooled for long—and Cersei would have it no other way. Trust is a vulnerability and those who seek to sideline her tend to find themselves sidelined without even knowing who or why.
And yet, Cersei is not moved to these actions by ambition, a Slytherin’s defining trait, but out of loyalty to those she loves: her brother, her children, her self. She is content to toy with Ned Stark until he threatens her, and he doesn’t last long after that. She marries Robert and gets pledged to Loras Tyrell because she dare not move against her father. And her loyalty to her brother is…unquestioned.
The beautiful and accommodating Margaery Tyrell strives to be a friend to all, from the lowliest peasant to the highest king, regardless of how much of a psychopath they might be. But make no mistake, even when that friendliness seems genuine, Sansa, there’s an ulterior motive at work. Margaery learned exactly what she needed to know in order to endure becoming queen at Joffrey’s side. The Lannisters may have visibly won the game of thrones, but only Margaery and her grandmother seem to know that the game isn’t over.
Of all the characters in Game of Thrones, Arya is perhaps the one we’ve actually seen undergo a “sorting hat” trial. Witnessing her father’s betrayal and death solidified her worldview in a way that few things can.
Still, Arya is tough to place. Her bravery is undisputed, but it is her loyalty to her family and her desire to avenge the good-hearted that motivate her actions.
Or is it? Arya is still growing as a person and although she recites the names of those she will kill every night, the more she recites them the more those names lose meaning. By the time Arya is ready to mow down all those who have wronged the Starks, vengeance may be the only thing she knows how to feel.
For a man who has defied death about once per season and found himself with his hands on the strings of all Westeros, Tyrion is astoundingly easy to place. He’s loyal, but only to those who he feels deserve it, and he can count that without even needing an extra nose. His ambitions and sense of bravery are also small in comparison to those around him. Books, traveling, efficient administration, and debauchery, that’s all he wants. Tyrion is definitely a…
What kind of asshole spends an evening raising a man to knighthood for saving his life, then taking his fingers for being a smuggler? One who believes in duty and rules to such an entitled extent that it poisons his mind. That obsession may have been born of loyalty to his brother Robert, but Stannis did not hesitate to take advantage of his brother’s death, or slay his younger brother Renly, even though he wished to be blind to said homicide. Stannis started a Hufflepuff, but he’s since become…
Robb, listen to your mother next time she advises…oh. Never mind. Although seemingly divorced from the events of Westeros, Catelyn Stark is the only one in Robb’s camp with enough experience and foresight to give accurate guidance to his strategies. The Ravenclaw-ish Catelyn proves so consistently correct, in fact, that it almost feels as if Robb starts to ignore her advice just to have something new to do.
He’s eventually forced to deter her because Catelyn does more than formulate plans, she acts on them. It makes her sick to free Jaime, but she does because she knows it will serve a greater good. She doesn’t want to treat with Renly, but she knows the alliance is desperately needed. And she’s the only one who realizes what is about to occur at The Twins. She jumps into action immediately, trying to counter it and salvage something from the situation, and for a split second it feels like she might just succeed.
Catelyn spends her life fighting, giving in to despair only when she knows that her end has come.
Samwell screams Hufflepuff when he first shows up, and he is certainly loyal and kind when you give him a chance to be, but if he didn’t have to be outside ranging or sword-fighting, you’d find him shut away with a good book or six.
This jerk was raised by Ned Stark’s loving but firm hand and how does Theon repay Robb, his brother in spirit? By betraying him the first chance he gets and burning Robb’s castle down.
It would be easy to cast Theon as a Slytherin from those actions, but look more closely. Although Theon acts with ambition and selfishness when seizing Winterfell, he is distinctly uncomfortable having to play the tyrant conqueror day in and day out. When he kills at Winterfell it’s because he’s lashing out in anger or because he’s forced to by his peers. His guilt over betraying Robb and the family who raised him is plain, and when it comes time to “kill” Bran and Rickon, he ends up faking their deaths. The loyalty Theon feels to the Starks is ingrained.
And it’s the opposite between Theon and his real father. Theon rides into Pyke having assured himself that his father is obligated to demonstrate his loyalty to his family, and is shocked to his core to discover that this is not the case.
And as we will soon find out, loyalty is all Reek has to cling to.
Stubby the Rocket is the mascot of Tor.com and is like Hogwarts but for space.