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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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After a solid season opener, this week’s episode of True Blood features some new blood—some human and some not exactly. Sookie and Bill unlock some new powers, Sam’s got a stalker, and Jason gets some grandfatherly advice. It’s the quiet before the storm in Louisiana, y’all.

Sookie

True Blood BenEveryone’s favorite fairy waitress kind of forgot she has a day job. I was really hoping we’d get to see Sookie use the ol’ “I had to help an injured fairy halfling on the side of the road” excuse for getting out of work. It’s never worked for me, either. I was wishing we’d get a fierce and single Sookie for more than… eight hours… but she was flirting with Ben right from the start. She can claim that his mindreading is a turn-off, but Sookie’s way too intrigued (and Ben’s way too cute in that conventional way) by someone like herself to just let him slip through her glowy fingers. Eh, no halfling can compete with a vampire’s sex appeal. It is known. So I hope whatever else Ben has going for himself is more interesting than just his new crush on Sookie.

I was glad the show mentioned Sookie’s dwindling light reserves. Once it’s all used up, she’ll be fey no more. I had kinda forgotten about that. I wonder if meeting Ben will make her want to hang on to her light more than ever now and if she’ll find some other way to kill Warlow.

Jason

Jason Quote of the Night: “What the fuck are we eating spaghetti for?! Let’s go stake the bastard!”

Jason got some sound advice from his Fairy Fucking Grandfather, the crazy-haired Niall. A bit of training, a bit of joking. And was that a Boba Fett reference I heard or did Jason say Bubba Fett? I smell fanfiction crossover. Internet, make it happen! Now, I know Jason doesn’t have the fairy powers, but doesn’t he have a bit of fairy? His charm with the ladies was something I attributed to more than just his Southern charm. And ridiculous abs. Poor dude wants to be more special than he is so badly, but when he’s not being an ass, Jason is sweet and great on his own.

Billith

Mucho Buffy reminders in this story tonight: Bill could feel all of the vampires’ pain, like Dark Willow. Then he spent the whole episode catatonic, trapped in his own head, like Buffy in season five. But that was pretty much where it ended. Lillith has A Plan. I fear it’s like the Cylon’s Plan and it will end in confusion and disappointment. But it’s too early in the season to be so skeptical. As it turns out, Bill can see the future. So, planning should, in theory, be easier! Only the future is so bright and genocidal, he has to wear flame-proof shades. Also: he can suck blood from a distance. That was like the worst half-bind yoga pose x1000. Nicely done, FX team.

Yet—naked, bloody babes were totally a nonstarter. What a cheap way to end last week’s episode.

Sam

Hard to believe Sam and Emma are holding up so well (comparatively) after Luna’s death. Several hours ago. And word travels fast. I already don’t like the Vampire Unity Society. Unless leader Nicole is hiding her own secret, where does she get off telling Sam and the other supes to out themselves and trying to make him feel guilty? I don’t really think she’s as altruistic as her grandparents. I think she just wants to have a cause and it can cost Sam his life. But I will say I loooooove Jurnee Smollett ever since I saw her as a little girl in Eve’s Bayou. If you watch True Blood and haven’t seen the Southern gothic masterpiece about memory, adolescence, and a touch of the supernatural, go rent it immediately. So. G.D. good.

Pam and Tara

Tara gets up close and personal with a new UV/silver bullet and Pam frets adorably. Nora continues to be annoying, but ultimately tells Pam that Eric does really love her. I’m with Pam—Eric is still being a jerk about showing it. I hate to see Pam so vulnerable. She doesn’t deserve to be a casualty in this war and I worry for her and Tara.

Alcide

WTF? Really, Alcide? Really?! Punching Sam is where I draw the line. Is Alcide really so high on power so quickly? Sam was his friend! I hatehatehate this development.

Lafayette

Got to be Emma’s nanny and then got punched out by Alcide’s girlfriend. What bullshit. He better get to punch that were-bitch in return. Come on! Next episode, Lafayette needs a new story for this season. Something more, you know, onscreen. And shouldn’t Emma still be maybe devastated she saw her mother die the night before? I guess no one can be sad around Lala. He’s that magical. Or maybe he made her a kiddie Creole margarita offscreen. That seems like it’d be in-character.

True Blood Eric

Eric

Bill can’t do much for the vampire fighting front being all comatose as he is, so it’s up to Eric to be on the offensive. Walking into the Governor’s mansion was brave and hilarious. And glamouring the Governor’s daughter could be a powerful weapon. Her life looked so boring, she’s probably been waiting for some forbidden vampire love to piss off Daddy. I’m excited to see where this goes.

Terry and Arlene and Andy

Secrets and lies and little fairy girls. Eh, okay.

Warlow

The most powerful vampire ever has finally broken through to this world and is on the hunt for the Stackhouse royal fairy blood. Will he be the series’ new wild card? He should probably shave and get a haircut first, though. That’s about a thousand years without conditioner. But then we’ll see that maybe he’s Niall? That’s my guess. An ancient vampire-fairy hybrid. Go ahead and laugh, but why not? Makes as much sense as anything else, right?

 

Next week: Steve Newlin is back!

True Blood airs Sundays at 9P.M. E/PT on HBO.


Theresa DeLucci is a regular contributor to Tor.com, covering True Blood, Game of Thrones, and gaming news. Follow her on Twitter @tdelucci

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