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For May the 4th, Our Star Wars Expanded Universe Pitches

Part of what makes Star Wars such a unique phenomenon is the way in which we, the fans truly take ownership of it. Part of this is because Star Wars shaped our childhood in amazing ways, and part of it is because it still gives us something to talk about as seemingly full-grown adults.

For many Star Wars only exists in the classic trilogy, while others are kind enough to include the prequels. And then there’s the crazy part of the fandom who include the books, video games and comics. Many of the staff loves the Star Wars “expanded universe” and as such, today on May the 4th, we’re sharing our ideas for stories taking place in the Star Wars Expanded Universe.


I’ve got two ideas. The first is a novel called A Closer Galaxy, which is basically just a regular novel, set on Earth, in our galaxy, but in a reality in which the Force was real, and all that stuff actually happened in another real galaxy, far, far away. The novel will have a prologue that is way too long, written by a faux-scientist who “explains” that a specific galaxy in the Crab Nebula or something is where all the Star Wars stuff went down. Then the story will really take off, which will simply be a rom-com involving 30 somethings who work at a blog, but are all secretly Force users. Most of this results in people’s coffee being dumped out or mind tricks involving de-friending people on Facebook. Also, instead of a moon, this version of Earth will have a round, luminescent space station called The Life Star.

Dexter Jettster takes the witness stand

My other idea also a novel. It’s called The Trial of Dexter Jettster. I think we all know why Dex is on trial.


A Tales of the Bounty Hunters / Tales from Jabba’s Palace type anthology except about all the secondary characters from the prequels, like Ric Olie, Watto, the shapeshifting bounty hunter from Attack of the Clones, and so on, would be cool.

But what I REALLY want is a biography of Jar-Jar Binks that treats the character seriously, but not lovingly, from the perspective of someone retelling the fall of the Old Republic from a political history angle. (Like someone recounting the career of Deep Throat and how he wound through the Nixon administration and others, so to speak.) It would utilize the canon of the films, be Lucasarts approved, and just be titled Jar-Jar Binks. Although the subtitle would be something juicy like Unwitting Fascist or Heesa Was There or The Phantom Menace.) You could make the character legitimately fascinating this way.

Jar-Jar Binks: Architect of Failure mock up novel

I would seriously write this if given the opportunity. Del Rey/Spectra, you know where to find me.


Okay, so imagine this: Boba Fett and Dengar. “Buddy bounty hunter” genre (because “buddy cop” is so last-100-years). Written like a Martin McDonagh play. Basically, two of the scariest guys in the galaxy saying horribly politically incorrect things about Jawas and Bothans. They pal around, they capture lowlifes and give them a hard time for being dumb enough to get caught, they get drunk and have confusing conversations about glitterstim. Underneath it all, it’s clear that the galaxy is changing and these two are becoming obsolete in the only work they know how to do. I think I’d like to call it, The Man from Kamino Who Would Be Mandalore. Yes.

Or a really long, politically complex, incredibly tedious drama about Jedi. In the Jedi Temple. Talking about the state of younglings and the problems with in-fighting amongst the padawans. You know you’d read it.



Stubby the Rocket is the mascot of and can’t decide whether it should increase or decrease the supply of oxygen to Bridget’s office.


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