The fourth season finale of True Blood goes out with a series of bangs.
First thought: Sookie Stackhouse just cannot keep her kitchen clean.
That was some ending. Talk about carnage. Where to begin? Where to go from here?
Wow. Marnie (for real,) Jesus, Nan, her gay Stormtroopers, Debbie Pelt and Tara all dead. We all saw the Grim Reaper hanging over Jesus these last few episodes. It’s also usually a bad sign if the actor signs on to another big project. But it was hard as hell to watch Lafayette, possessed by Marnie, stab his sweet, adorable boyfriend in the chest with a big ass knife. My God. And I thought the Marnie-possession plot was a bit anticlimactic. Not worth sacrificing Jesus to what ended up seeming like a pissed off high school girl’s grudge, certainly. Poor Lafayette. How do you even go on living knowing you killed the love of your life? Even if it wasn’t you, really?
And with the other most important person in his life dead, too? Lafayette’s going to have one hell of a rough start next season. I think fun Lafayette is gone for good. I will miss you, camwhoring, AIDS burger-serving Lafayette.
Tara. Is she really dead? The actress doesn’t even seem to know for sure. But she took a shotgun blast to the head. Go on, you know we’ve all wished Tara would die at some point. I know it wasn’t just me. Still, that final dive was a surprise. Normally, I’d get an inkling Something Bad was going to happen to a character when they start telling other characters their retirement plans. But I’d always just taken Tara and her bad attitude for granted. Like she was untouchable. Does the show need Tara? Personally, I don’t think so. She’s pretty unbearable to watch. She doesn’t change. And Sookie barely hung out with her anymore anyway. Tara will be more interesting to the other characters as a corpse.
Sookie was so set on being all alone, thanks to the sage advice from
Miss Daisy Gran. Now she really will be. What do you think of her walking away from Bill and Eric? How long will it last? What of Alcide’s proposition? He never had her heart. Sookie will be in no state for boy-chasing, anyways. For an episode or two. It’s Sookie. Let’s be real.
Bill and Eric seemed to get short shrift this finale. There’s that post-Sookie existence and the execution decrees hanging over their heads, but nothing too exciting seemed to be bringing them into next season until….
Russell Edgington is free! Did he free himself? Was it Pam’s way of getting back at Eric and Sookie’s precious fairy vagina? Was it newly-turned Reverend Steve Newlin? That seed was planted so well. All season, his disappearance has been in the background. What an awesome payoff. The Fellowship of the Moon? Can’t wait to see how he and Russell are going to cause mayhem with Jason, Eric, Bill, and the Vampire Authority. Wow.
Some other highlights:
- Maxine Fortenberry showing up at Tommy’s funeral.
- Sam’s dorky sea captain hat. C’mon, couldn’t he at least have glued on a white beard? Then he could be George R. R. Martin and it’d be all meta.
- Holly getting baked in her fairy costume.
- Arlene’s daughter’s Teen Mom 2 costume. Hilarious, but I would lock my kid in a closet for even suggesting it. Arlene must feel really guilty about being a shitty mother all season so she’s giving her kid a pass.
- Ghost-Rene! Man, Terriers was cancelled too soon.
- Bill and Eric chained to a stake sans shirts. Why? Why not?
- “We are not fucking puppies.” Shut up, Bill. You and Eric totally are. Big, dumb puppies in matching bathrobes. Deal with it.
- The pathos of Andy Bellefleur: “I just wanna say that I’m sober, I’m lonely, and I can be good to someone if they let me.” Aw. I want a hug from Andy, too.
What are we to make of Arlene’s “Zombies are the new vampires?” Prophecy? Yes! I want a big freaking zombie apocalypse mixed in with a foppish vampire king and Rev. Steve going all Book of Mormon on Jason. See? The hope is always there at the start of a season of True Blood. This season’s been a mixed bag with weird, out-of-character moments and big, stinky plotholes and a terrible stupid demon baby subplot that ending in the lamest light show on TV since Charmed. But it’s finales like this that make me come back for more.
I’m gonna end this here so we can get to what’s been my favorite part of reviewing True Blood this season: discussing in the comments! It’s been extra fun talking with all of you this season. So, thanks for that.
I hope you come back for more next season, too.