Yeah, that’s right. Dungeons & Dragons Spellcasting Soda (or, if you prefer, Magic: the Gathering soda). What else is there to say? It’s exactly what you think it is: Soda for nerds. I can’t believe how much I want some. The Illithid Brain Juice looks particularly appealing.
As a diet soda addict, of course, I’m looking for Elminster’s Elixir of Eliminating Empty Calories or something. I mean, I see that the Potion of Healing is sugar-free, but how many calories does it have? Hasn’t Mountain Dew done enough damage to the collective gamer waistline?
Or if that stuff isn’t quite right for you, there’s also the Chaotic energy drink, based on the Chaotic collectible card game. It’s described thusly: “a nutrient-infused, natural health product with no artificial colours or flavours. … Fueled with natural energy from green tea extract, and loaded with vitamins, antioxidants and functional herbs.” My, that DOES sound healthy. Take that, D&D soda! (I’m skeptical, of course, that drinking any of these things will do anyone any good, not that that stops me from drinking 5-7 Diet Pepsis a day.)
Once you get them all, maybe you can store them in one of these rare R2D2 Pepsi coolers.
But speaking of Star Wars, now that I think about it, I want some Star Wars soda. How did George Lucas miss THAT marketing opportunity? Or if not Star Wars, I at least want a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster cola or something. (Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be an alcoholic drink, but I don’t drink, and I want to drink something called the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, damn it.)
What about you guys: What kind of SFnal drink do YOU want to drink in real life?
John Joseph Adams (www.johnjosephadams.com) is an anthologist, a writer, and a geek. He is the editor of the anthologies By Blood We Live, Federations, The Improbable Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Living Dead (a World Fantasy Award finalist), Seeds of Change, and Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse. He is currently assembling several other anthologies, including Brave New Worlds, The Living Dead 2, The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination, and The Way of the Wizard. He is also the assistant editor at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction.