In which we discuss the penultimate episode of the season, where Tara continued being annoying, Jason got philosophical, the Queen of Louisiana made her first appearance, and Eric was onscreen for two whole minutes and stole the show. Again.
Also, Pam wore the most hideously hilarious outfit ever.
The last episode of True Blood has put all of the players on the board for a final (I hope) confrontation with Maryann.
Jason’s really stepped up as a protector of Bon Temps. He’s been great comic relief and he pairs well with Lafayette and Andy. This episode, he asked the Big Questions. Has Sam ever shifted into a dog and had sex with a lady-dog? Can chicken-Sam eat an egg he himself has laid? Which of course foreshadowed the very random appearance of an actual egg in a nest cared for by Eggs and Tara.
In a show full of vampires and shapeshifters and creatures out of Greek mythology, is a giant egg stretching viewers’ suspension of belief too far? I don’t know, but I’m curious as hell to see what’s inside. And to find out who laid it. Maybe it’s just the cliffhanger red herring and we’ll find out it was one of Gran’s Easter decorations or something.
After Tara’s really idiotic behavior in this episode, I never want to see eggs of any kind on this show ever again. Not even in an omelet. Tara’s complaint about Sookie being allowed to save her boyfriend whenever she wants while Tara can’t would be fair… if her boyfriend wasn’t Eggs. What was the point of that whole intervention if Tara goes back to Maryann’s side in two minutes flat? The only thing that made me not want to throw things at my screen was seeing Lafayette’s PTSD-vision of Eric wearing Lettie-Mae’s blouse.
Meanwhile, things are really damn creepy at Sookie’s. I like how the townspeople have become more wild the closer we get to the finale. What started off as dancing has turned into naked men in sinks playing with guts and women cutting their fingers off in tribute. Sookie, by the way, also wasn’t acting her smartest when she returned to her house. The moment the Queen of Louisiana said maenads love special people for their sacrifices, I knew just as surely as Bill did that Maryann probably wants the mysterious white-light-flinging Sookie more than Sam. I guess that was the point of Tara going back to Maryann’s; to in turn make Sookie a damsel in distress herself.
And on the Queen… I can’t say Im blown away just yet. She has the right look. She has the cool mansion with the beautifully designed day room, but Evan Rachel Wood’s mannerisms and delivery were simultaneously flat and off-putting. I don’t believe she’s so old. I don’t believe she can be dangerous. I don’t believe I’m the only one who felt a little disappointed1 by the Queen’s first appearance. Bill’s reaction to her, however, was really enjoyable. I’ve come to embrace Bill’s fuddy-duddy nature and now I’m loving him again. He is what he is. Part of his humor (and sometimes his tragedy) is his inability to really change his nature.
Is Bill going to offer Sam to Maryann to protect Sookie? I wouldn’t trade Sookie for Sam. But there wouldn’t be a show without Sookie, so I hope Sam has his will made out. He was being all sweet and caring with Arlene’s kids and trying to forge a peace with Eric, too. He’s acting really, really Good. Therefore, he’s probably going to do something dumb and noble and sacrifice himself for Sookie. I think it’s in the TV drama rulebook.
Lastly, I think it’s safe to say that Eric Northman has replaced Captain Jack Sparrow as the one guy it’s become socially acceptable for heterosexual men to find hot. I’ve yet to meet a guy without a man-crush on him. This week, Eric stole the spotlight by lounging around in a suit, nearly eating children (“teacup humans”) and flying. Eric can fly. That’s how cool he is. But my favorite thing about the scene at Fangtasia wasn’t Eric, it was the reappearance of Pam. In a red-sequined pantsuit monstrosity and disco hair. Was it Studio 54 night or something? I also loved the way she rolled her eyes at Eric’s mention of Sookie. It’s like she knows Eric spending too much time onscreen with Sookie will make his character lame. Don’t ever get lame, Eric!
So some finale predictions:
Bye, Sam. But hopefully not for good. I’m a dog person.
Andy and Jason will save the day and be town heroes. Andy will get his badge back and Jason will get more women.
Sookie will cry.
Bill will cry.
Tara will do something dumb, like cry over Eggs since I’m sure enough viewers have vocally called for his death that he won’t be back next season. The actor signed on to an ABC drama, too. Never a good sign of life. In my dream, the Evil Dead universe shall crossover with True Blood and Ash will come out of the swamp, see the corpse, and say something pithy like “I hope you like your Eggs scrambled.” Then disappear back into the forest.
The wildcard is Hoyt and Jessica. Of course it was a bad move to bite your boyfriend’s mother, no matter how bad she had it coming, but I think Mrs. Fortenberry hurt Hoyt more by revealing the truth about his father’s death. I’m sure he won’t be mad at Jessica for long.
The only thing I know for certain is that the show will end on some cruel cliffhanger that will make me punch my sofa and scream when the end credits come up and I’m faced with no trashy, sexy, over-the-top, guilty pleasure TV for eight months.
1And this was before reports claiming that Evan Rachel Wood and Alexander Skarsgard are reportedly an item. Now some women are just plain haters.
Theresa DeLucci subscribes to the theory that Eric is only one of the long line of cool blond vampires that began with David in The Lost Boys and continued with Spike on Buffy, thus proving they do have more fun.
