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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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It was great to see some of this season’s storylines finally converge in Dallas for a showdown between the Area 9 vamps and the Fellowship of the Sun.

I’ve been enjoying the opportunity to learn more about the wider vampire world beyond Bon Temps. Vampire hotels! Travel coffins! Vampires in cowboy duds! And at last getting to meet the 2,000-year-old vampire sheriff Godric, who seems to have had a complete wardrobe and attitude makeover in the past millennium. He’s also the only vampire Eric seems to like. Really, really like. Eric really likes Sookie, too, and there were definite sparks of tension between them. Which of course makes Bill act even more Bill-like, and by that I mean kind of a buzzkill.

Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, Maryann finally does something that makes me like her again.

Kudos to Maryann’s culinary skills for fashioning a positively juicy and disgusting-looking shapeshifter heart soufflé that makes Tara and Eggs slap each other silly. It was satisfying to watch on a visceral level, hoping that they would literally slap some sense into each other. Until their eyes went black and they had sex. Again. On Sookie’s living room floor. God, Sookie will finally have a reason to be pissed when she gets back home. I can’t imagine what the steam cleaning costs are after a string of bacchanals. I can’t believe this Maryann-throws-wicked-parties arc is still going on.

I always get anxious when characters I like are the only ones aware of the insanity going on around them. Like Fred in the Jasmine arc on Angel. Poor Sam. He acted uncharacteristically dumb this week when he walked right into a trap and got himself locked up for the murder of Daphne. Now he’s the only non-pod-person in the county jail, which sure as hell bodes ill for him if (when) Maryann activates her minions. Can’t he turn into a mouse and slip away? Will Andy Bellefleur ever sober up enough to be effective? How come the Sheriff and Kenya have never attended one of Maryann’s orgies?

The best stuff on this show seems to be happening in Dallas.

It was hard to imagine Jason Stackhouse being abstinate, but of course that didn’t last long, what with the hot Mrs. Newlin offering up her pudding so freely. What was surprising was watching Jason turn into the best big brother ever as he used his newly acquired soldier skills to defend his captive sister. And to finally, finally admit that he does like some vampires. Steve wasn’t much of a villain in the end, but it was nice to see him brought down a peg or two. If only for a little bit. Fanaticism like that doesn’t go away overnight, as we learned from the ending.

I love True Blood‘s unrepentant use of cheesy, melodramatic dialogue. This week had less vampire tears, but how emo was Eric’s incomprehension of love? Eric is to Sookie what Spike was to Buffy Summers. Yeah, yeah, completely different shows, but in the canon of vampire archetypes, Eric is the bad vamp with a heart of gold who is way hotter and more interesting than the innocent Mary Sue’s wet blanket True Love. Eric’s been my favorite character on this show since he walked into the season premiere with foils in his hair and flip-flops on his feet. Then proceeded to tear a man’s limbs off. I haven’t read the books, but it is obvious a love triangle is brewing. Did you catch Bill’s look when Sookie ran to free Eric from his chains? Or when Eric inserted himself into a conversation between Bill and Sookie with a rather hilarious “Oh! I heard my name.” Eric’s a sidler!

But in lieu of a Bill/Eric brawl, this week we got to see Sookie tell Bill’s pathetic maker Lorena off in a really humiliating fashion. I don’t know what we’re supposed to take away from Lorena’s appearance. Was it supposed to be a contrast between Bill’s hatred for his maker versus Eric’s total devotion to his? The revelation that one can’t live to be 250-years-old without commiting a few sins? Luckily, Sookie was saved from Lorena’s claws by Godric’s intervention. Everyone was saved by Godric interventions this week. He’s the vampire Gandhi. I hope he sticks around. He brings a completely different energy to the vampire scenes. It’d be a damn shame to lose him to the Fellowship’s dirty silver bomber so soon after he was found. And Eric would cry blood tears again.

And in a storyline seemingly unconnected to everyone else around them, Jessica and Hoyt continue to be sweet and awkward. I’m not sure I needed to hear about Jessica’s anatomy, but it’ll be interesting to see how her perpetual virginal state will complicate their budding romance.

True Blood airs Sundays at 9 P.M. EST on HBO.


Theresa DeLucci has pre-ordered some True Blood orange soda, even though she heard it only tastes good mixed with vodka. When not watching too much TV, she enjoys writing (except about herself in the third person) and is a graduate of the Clarion West Writers’ Workshop 2008 class.

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