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When All Else Fails, Add a Tagline: A Movie News Roundup

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When All Else Fails, Add a Tagline: A Movie News Roundup

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Published on May 28, 2009

Wow, it has been another busy week in Hollywood. Whether studios are trying to dredge movie reboots out of the cinematic compost heap or filmmakers are stomping on the cultural spectrum of its source material, there’s never a dull moment in this machine. Check out the new, the notable, and the unimaginably frightening (hint: TRON).

– The first film stills of Avatar: The Last Airbender have been released, just in time for everyone to remember how ridiculous this casting is. So far we have a shot of Prince Zuko looking badass and a shot of Aang looking Caucasian.

– The official GI Joe poster has been released! Please note you can enjoy two horrible taglines, rather than just one! For those who don’t read Blurry-ese: “Evil Never Looked So Good” and “When All Else Fails, They Don’t,” which made me laugh out loud when I read it, I’m not even going to pretend otherwise. Stop giving away the plot, poster!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of the newest movie properties to be in line for a reboot. Producers are all set to go, and it sounds like it’s been greenlit and will go forward even though Joss Whedon isn’t attached. See what happens when you praise the Star Trek movie too much?

Box office receipts don’t lie: the Night at the Museum sequel vaulted right over Terminator: Salvation last weekend. McG, desperate to trick people into seeing his horrible movie, dropped the bomb about a super-secret alternate ending. He then played a handheld video of Lucy Liu washing a car in slow motion and ran away from further questions while the reviewer was still stunned and confused from the footage.

– In other news, the best movie announcement of our time: Piranha 3-D, apparently a real movie, is actually getting made. To make sure it’s as B-movie as it can possibly get, they are casting Gossip Girl‘s Jessica Szohr (“The Girl No One Likes”); though her part is not finalized, chances are good that she will be Girl in Bikini Who Investigates Churning Water.

– Katee Sackhoff was seen buying handfuls of Daredevil comics featuring Typhoid Mary. Speculation is rampant that she must be researching the character because she’s in line for the role in a Daredevil reboot (see what happens?), since girls never read comics for fun.

– And for those of you looking for something that will chill you to your very core, click this link and know that this picture was taken on the set of Tron 2, and that nothing will ever be all right again.

About the Author

Genevieve Valentine

Author

Genevieve Valentine’s first novel, Mechanique: A Tale of the Circus Tresaulti, won the 2012 Crawford Award and was nominated for the Nebula. Her short fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, Strange Horizons, Journal of Mythic Arts, Lightspeed, Apex, and others, and the anthologies Federations, The Living Dead 2, Running with the Pack, After, and more.

Her nonfiction has appeared at NPR.org, Strange Horizons, Lightspeed, Weird Tales, Tor.com, and she is a co-author of Geek Wisdom (out from Quirk Books). She is an occasional columnist at Fantasy magazine, and sporadically updates her Twitter. Her appetite for bad movies is insatiable, a tragedy she tracks on her blog. More information can be found at www.genevievevalentine.com.

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