Hey, Tech Geeks and Mad Scientist-types: Michael Moorcock Needs Your Help

Matt Staggs over at Enter the Octopus has put out a “Calling All Geeks!” alert on behalf of Science Fiction and Fantasy legend Michael Moorcock, who has apparently been having some difficulties on the tech front. According to Staggs (via the folks at Arthur):

He’d be able to get a lot more writing done right now if he had a wireless keyboard with large keys that he could use with his PC. He’s been looking round and apparently there are no BIG KEYS keyboards that are wireless. Could that be true??? And if it is, could some helpful wiznerd out there build one for MM? Let us know what you know. Write to Mike Moorcock care of Jay Babcock at Arthur Magazine ([email protected]).

It seems there’s already been some response, but we thought we should do our part to call attention to Moorcock’s Big Key Deprivation; and so, without further ado, allow us to present:


#1: Because he’s Michael freakin’ Moorcock, dammit: leading figure of the ScifFi New Wave in the U.K. (not to mention anarchy in the U.K., of which he is also a vocal proponent); he’s an instigator, a troublemaker, a counterculture icon. He is cool. Let’s get him something decent to type on.

#2: Because you’re a fan of anti-heroes, and snark, and snarky troublemakers. If you haven’t read Moorcock’s take on children’s fantasy in “Epic Pooh,” fasten your seatbelt and get to it. When you’re done with that, check out what he does to Lovecraft and Heinlein in “Starship Stormtroopers.” His essays may be controversial, but they’re always smart and never boring. Sure would be nice to have a keyboard to spread some more of that around…

#3: Because you love Mervyn Peake almost as much as Moorcock does. Gormenghast fans, unite!

#4: Because you love rock and roll, and specifically Hawkwind and Blue Öyster Cult. Moorcock has collaborated with both bands, contributing lyrics to various tracks, as well as actually performing with BÖC at DragonCon in 1987. So, he’s a total rockstar. If you don’t Fear the Reaper, why don’t you prove it…by building Michael Moorcock a mighty, massive-keyed laptop with, like, flames on the side and shit? Awesome.

#5: Because you only play by the FIRST printing of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Deities and Demigods rule book (which includes Moorcock’s Elric of Melniboné and Stormbringer). That’s right—all the other editions can go suck a twelve-sided die.

#6: Because Arioch, Lord of the Seven Darks, Lord of Higher Hell, The Knight of Swords commands it. And he’s a Duke of Hell, so…get to steppin’.

Okay, enough of this. We hope we have inspired you to head off to the lab, or down to your mom’s basement, or wherever keyboards can be made through science, or magicks, or some sinister combination thereof. If this project is successful, I hear Ursula Le Guin might be in the market for a laser-shooting robo-monitor. (Don’t ask, just get out the pliers and start drawing up the plans….)


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