Real Original, Jerks

from Off the Top of My Head: The Official Blog of the Headless Horseman


I was first to go headless.
I started the trend.
I remember a time
when a person could shout,
“Hey! That guy has no head!
It’s a pumpkin instead!”
and you’d know it was me
he was talking about.

But this morning I’m riding
my horse into work
and this Headless Accountant
is walking his dog.
And although it’s still dark,
I can see, in the park,
that the Headless Vice-Principal’s
out for a jog.

There’s a woman in town
who’s a Headless Headmistress.
She’s dating the mayor
(a bodiless head).
And I bet you a dollar
they’re joined at the collar
this June,
when the two of them wed.

You must tell me where
you get all your ideas.
This whole no-head thing
is just really fantastic.
And pumpkins with faces!
On necks of all places!
(In case you can’t tell it,
I’m being sarcastic.)

[j/k – Text and illustrations from FRANKENSTEIN TAKES THE CAKE, copyright © 2008 by Adam Rex, posted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved.]


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