Mar 27 2012 10:00am
Redshirts: The First Five Chapters (Excerpt)


• • • • • PROLOGUE


From the top of the large boulder he sat on, Ensign Tom Davis looked across the expanse of the cave, toward Captain Lucius Abernathy, Science Officer Q’eeng and Chief Engineer Paul West perched on a second, larger boulder, and thought, Well, this sucks.

“Borgovian Land Worms!” Captain Abernathy said, and smacked his boulder with an open palm. “I should have known.”

You should have known? How the hell could you not have known? thought Ensign Davis, and looked at the vast dirt floor of the cave, its powdery surface moving here and there with the shadowy humps that marked the movement of the massive, carnivorous worms.

“I don’t think we should just be waltzing in there,” Davis had said to Chen, the other crew member on the away team, upon encountering the cave. Abernathy, Q’eeng and West had already entered, despite the fact that Davis and Chen were technically their security detail.

Chen, who was new, snorted. “Oh, come on,” he said. “It’s just a cave. What could possibly be in there?”

“Bears?” Davis had suggested. “Wolves? Any number of large predators who see a cave as shelter from the elements? Have you never been camping?”

“There are no bears on this planet,” Chen had said, willfully missing Davis’ point. “And anyway we have pulse guns. Now come on. This is my first away mission. I don’t want the captain wondering where I am.” He ran in after the officers.

From his boulder, Davis looked down at the dusty smear on the cave floor that was all that remained of Chen. The land worms, called by the sound of the humans walking in the cave, had tunneled up under him and dragged him down, leaving nothing but echoing screams and the smear.

Well, that’s not quite true, Davis thought, peering farther into the cave and seeing the hand that lay there, still clutching the pulse gun Chen had carried, and which as it turned out had done him absolutely no good whatsoever.

The ground stirred and the hand suddenly disappeared.

Okay, now it’s true, Davis thought.

“Davis!” Captain Abernathy called. “Stay where you are! Any movement across that ground will call to the worms! You’ll be eaten instantly!”

Thanks for the useless and obvious update, you jackass, Davis thought, but did not say, because he was an ensign, and Abernathy was the captain. Instead, what he said was, “Aye, Captain.”

“Good,” Abernathy said. “I don’t want you trying to make a break for it and getting caught by those worms. Your father would never forgive me.”

What? Davis thought, and suddenly he remembered that Captain Abernathy had served under his father on the Benjamin Franklin. The ill-fated Benjamin Franklin. And in fact, Davis’ father had saved the then-Ensign Abernathy by tossing his unconscious body into the escape pod before diving in himself and launching the pod just as the Franklin blew up spectacularly around them. They had drifted in space for three days and had almost run out of breathable air in that pod before they were rescued.

Davis shook his head. It was very odd that all that detail about Abernathy pop into his head, especially considering the circumstances.

As if on cue, Abernathy said, “Your father once saved my life, you know.”

“I know—” Davis began, and then nearly toppled off the top of his boulder as the land worms suddenly launched themselves into it, making it wobble.

“Davis!” Abernathy said.

Davis hunched down, flattening himself toward the boulder to keep his center of gravity low. He glanced over to Abernathy, who was now conferring with Q’eeng and West. Without being able to hear them, Davis knew that they were reviewing what they knew about Borgovian Land Worms and trying to devise a plan to neutralize the creatures, so they could cross the cave in safety and reach the chamber that housed the ancient Central Computer of the Borgovians, which could give them a clue about the disappearance of that wise and mysterious race.

You really need to start focusing on your current situation, some part of Davis’ brain said to him, and he shook his head again. Davis couldn’t disagree with this assessment; his brain had picked a funny time to start spouting a whole bunch of extraneous information that served him no purpose at this time.

The worms rocked his boulder again. Davis gripped it as hard as he could and saw Abernathy, Q’eeng and West become more animated in their attempted problem solving.

A thought suddenly came to Davis. You’re part of the security detail, it said. You have a pulse gun. You could just vaporize these things.

Davis would have smacked his head if the worms weren’t already doing that by driving it into the boulder. Of course! The pulse gun! He reached down to his belt to unclasp the gun from its holster. As he did so another part of his brain wondered why, if in fact the solution was as simple as just vaporizing the worms, Captain Abernathy or one of the other officers hadn’t just ordered him to do it already.

I seem to have a lot of voices in my brain today, said a third part of Davis’ brain. He ignored that particular voice in his brain and aimed at a moving hump of dirt coming toward his boulder.

Abernathy’s cry of “Davis! No!” arrived at the exact instant Davis fired, sending a pulsed beam of coherent, disruptive particles into the dirt mound. A screech emanated from the mound, followed by violent thrashing, followed by a sinister rumbling, followed by the ground of the cave erupting as dozens of worms suddenly burst from the dirt.

“The pulse gun is ineffective against Borgovian Land Worms!” Davis heard Science officer Q’eeng say over the unspeakable noise of the thrashing worms. “The frequency of the pulse sends them into a frenzy. Ensign Davis has just called every worm in the area!”

You couldn’t have told me this before I fired? Davis wanted to scream. You couldn’t have said, Oh, by the way, don’t fire a pulse gun at a Borgovian Land Worm at our mission briefing? On the ship? At which we discussed landing on Borgovia? Which has fucking land worms?

Davis didn’t scream this at Q’eeng because he knew there was no way Q’eeng would hear him, and besides it was already too late. He’d fired. The worms were in a frenzy. Somebody now was likely to die.

It was likely to be Ensign Davis.

Through the rumble and dust, Davis looked over at Abernathy, who was gazing back at him, concern furrowed into his brow. And then Davis was wondering when, if ever, Abernathy had ever spoken to him before this mission.

Oh, Abernathy must have—he and Davis’ father had been tight ever since the destruction of the Franklin. They were friends. Good friends. It was even likely that Abernathy had known Davis himself as a boy, and may have even pulled a few strings to get his friend’s son a choice berth on the Intrepid, the flagship of the Universal Union. The captain wouldn’t have been able to spend any real time with Davis—it wouldn’t have done for the captain to show favoritism in the ranks—but surely they would have spoken. A few words here and there. Abernathy asking after Davis’ father, perhaps. Or on other away missions.

Davis was coming up with a blank.

Suddenly, the rumbling stopped. The worms, as quickly as they had gone into a frenzy, appeared to sidle back under the dirt. The dust settled.

“They’re gone!” Davis heard himself say.

“No,” Abernathy said. “They’re smarter than that.”

“I can make it to the mouth of the cave!” Davis heard himself say.

“Stay where you are, Ensign!” Abernathy said. “That’s an order!”

But Davis was already off his boulder and running toward the mouth of the cave. Some part of Davis’ brain howled at the irrationality of the action, but the rest of Davis didn’t care. He knew he had to move. It was almost a compulsion. As if he had no choice.

Abernathy screamed “No!” very nearly in slow motion, and Davis covered half of the distance he needed to go. Then the ground erupted as land worms, arrayed in a semicircle, launched themselves up and toward Davis.

And it was then, as he skidded backward, and while his face showed surprise, in fact, that Ensign Davis had an epiphany.

This was the defining moment of his life. The reason he existed. Everything he’d ever done before, everything he’d ever been, said or wanted, had led him to this exact moment, to be skidding backward while Borgovian Land Worms bored through dirt and air to get him. This was his fate. His destiny.

In a flash, and as he gazed upon the needle sharp teeth spasming in the rather evolutionarily suspect rotating jaw of the land worm, Ensign Tom Davis saw the future. None of this was really about the mysterious disappearance of the Borgovians. After this moment, no one would ever speak of the Borgovians again.

It was about him—or rather, what his impending death would do to his father, now an admiral. Or even more to the point, what his death would do to the relationship between Admiral Davis and Captain Abernathy. Davis saw the scene in which Abernathy told Admiral Davis of his son’s death. Saw the shock turn to anger, saw the friendship between the two men dissolve. He saw the scene where the Universal Union MPs placed the captain under arrest for trumped-up charges of murder by negligence, planted by the admiral.

He saw the courtmartial and Science Officer Q’eeng, acting as Abernathy’s counsel, dramatically breaking down the admiral on the witness stand, getting him to admit this was all about him losing his son. Davis saw his father dramatically reach out and ask forgiveness from the man he had falsely accused and had arrested, and saw Captain Abernathy give it in a heartrending reconciliation right there in the courtroom.

It was a great story. It was great drama.

And it all rested upon him. And this moment. And this fate. This destiny of Ensign Davis.

Ensign Davis thought, Screw this, I want to live, and swerved to avoid the land worms.

But then he tripped and one of the land worms ate his face and he died anyway.

From his vantage point next to Q’eeng and West, Captain Lucius Abernathy watched helplessly as Tom Davis fell prey to the land worms. He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Chief Engineer West.

“I’m sorry, Lucius,” he said. “I know he was a friend of yours.”

“More than a friend,” Abernathy said, choking back grief. “The son of a friend as well. I saw him grow up, Paul. Pulled strings to get him on the Intrepid. I promised his father that I would look after him. And I did. Checked in on him from time to time. Never showed favoritism, of course. But kept an eye out.”

“The admiral will be heartbroken,” Science officer Q’eeng said. “Ensign Davis was the only child of the admiral and his late wife.”

“Yes,” Abernathy said. “It will be hard.”

“It’s not your fault, Lucius,” West said. “You didn’t tell him to fire his pulse gun. You didn’t tell him to run.”

“Not my fault,” Abernathy agreed. “But my responsibility.” He moved to the most distant point on the boulder to be alone.

“Jesus Christ,” West muttered to Q’eeng, after the captain had removed himself and they were alone and finally free to speak. “What sort of moron shoots a pulse gun into a cave floor crawling with land worms? And then tries to run across it? He may have been an admiral’s son, but he wasn’t very smart.”

“It’s unfortunate indeed,” Q’eeng said. “The dangers of the Borgovian Land Worms are well known. Chen and Davis both should have known better.”

“Standards are slipping,” West said.

“That may be,” Q’eeng said. “Be that as it may, this and other recent missions have seen a sad and remarkable loss of life. Whether they are up to our standards or not, the fact remains: We need more crew.”

Jason Gruber
1. jmgruber
I was going to buy this anyway, but yeah. Going to buy this.
Brian M.
2. Brian M.
That was great. Ice Sharks. Can't wait for the whole thing.
Don Whiteside
3. phearlez
Back in the ST:TNG days I remember people on the various GEnie bulliten boards enjoying writing their own versions of the "Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra" little metaphor phrases. My personal favorite was "Redshirt, looking nervous."
Adam Weber
4. SvelteDesert
Have to agree with #1 was already planning on buying this, and this definitely confirms it.
Johne Cook
5. Phy
I'm constantly amazed at how effortlessly John Scalzi does dialogue and SFnal world building.

I'm very intrigued by the Truman Show-like feeling of an over-arching invisible hand-at-work. I have my ideas. Can't wait to pick up the book and confirm them.
Mark Lawrence
6. incurablyGeek
Part of the charm of this story is that the world-building borrows heavily from the Trek universe; lots of familiar term and conventions (Q'eeng is all but Vulcan in dialog -- "Indeed") and the red-shirt meme with a few twists to make it different.

It's easy to simply insert "Trek" as the universe and take note of the exceptions.
Ron Mitchell
8. rontar
Nice. Looking forward to busting down my bookstore door the day this one comes out.
Jay Elmore
9. jelmore
West's comment about Davis not being very smart reminds me of Sterling Archer accidentally outing ISIS agents in the episode Diversity Hire:

"He probably just got careless. Loose cannon!"

And, yeah, SO looking forward to this book.
Elijah Marshall
10. Tashen
Oh, I'm looking forward to this...
The sooner it comes to Australia, the better.
Jeff Schweer
11. JeffS.
I heard the prologue last year in Seattle when John was in town. Loved it then, can't wait for the book.

Personally not going on any away missions...

Jeff S.
Samuel Montgomery-Blinn
12. montsamu
Couple of formatting nits in the prologue:

"fi re his pulse gun"


And chapter one:

“All right, fi ne,” Dahl said.

"infl uence"

And chapter two:


"get into the fi eld"

"an in de pen dent project"

Also: ready for chapter 3. And ready for the audiobook narrator's take on the third Forshan dialect, because that is going to be fun.
Sean Arthur
14. wsean
Do you ever wonder if maybe Scalzi's dialogue is too snappy?

Nah. Can't wait for this one.
Irene Gallo
15. Irene
@12. Might not have to wait too long for chapter three.
Curt Phillips
16. Absarka
Ok, I'm sold. This story is irresistable. Off I go to Amazon to pre-order...

Curt Phillips
Mark McHugh
17. yobar
No strollers on this ship either, eh? This should be fun. Thanks for the teaser.
Bill Stewart
18. billstewart
Montsamu, those aren't formatting problems - they're Shatnerian dramatic pauses.
dominic temple
19. mymatedave
Really looking forward to buying this, and @18 billstewart, I love how Shatnerian is not only an instantly understood verb, but that Shatnerian dramatic pauses would be an excellent star trek filk band name.
Peter Schmidt
20. PHSchmidt
Killing off the first person narrator...I think I like it...
Filippo bia
21. filippobia
Scalzi fantastic as ever. Gonna buy this one from Italy !
Lorraine Ochoa
22. MommyWoman
Looks like I'm in it, too. I was slightly iffy until I read y'all's comments and they clinched it for me. So glad I'm not alone in my nerdly geeknasium.
Brett Kuehner
23. BrettKuehner
Lots of fun so far. I'm looking forward to the rest of the book this summer.
I noticed one mistake on the last page:
"Immediately behind them were the pounding of the machines."

Probably should be "was" or else drop the "of the".
James Caplan
24. caplanjr
It's like Trek viewed as an episode of MST3K. I'm buying it anyway.
gary goldfinch
25. garyg
Have to be honest, I wasn't convinced by the Redshirts premise, all sounded a bit too clever and po-mo. But, hell, I've really enjoyed the first chapters, this summers fun read for sure.
Moses Lambert
26. DukeOfURL
This reminds me of years back when I DMed and had great success suckering Fighters into putting on red shirts, chainmail, or whatever that they "accidentally" found...
adrian bellis
27. Nilrem
Reading the first couple of chapters had me pre-ordering the book, the extra chapters have convinced me I did the right thing.

I can't wait to get the book now.
Kelly Naylor
28. aerten
Kindle version pre-ordered!

I just started playing in a Trek RPG called "Red Shirt Blues." I feared for my character's life before I even had her fully described... and now? Dang, I wish I had made her more of a character I DON'T want to play. I'll miss her when she's gone. On the other hand, I have a list of annoying NPCs in the game where I play the Captain... Bwahahaha!
Joe Vondracek
29. joev
Damn it, Scalzi, you're an author, not a wizard! Oh, okay, maybe you are a wizard.

This is a fantastically fun view of the other side of the Narrative. I always wondered what the crew members were up to when we'd see them bustling through the corridors...
Brian M.
30. Pablodius
"But then he tripped and one of the land worms ate his face and he died anyway."

Brian M.
31. Nawiro
i read it in my lunch break in the office at work. After chapter two i laugh so hard that my work colleagues wonder whats happening to me hahaha.

can't wait to have it and read the book!

Brian M.
32. AndrewW
As if I wasn't already buying a new Scalzi book.... Wait a minute, this isn't out yet... You mean I have to wait? DAMN YOU JOHN!
Brian M.
33. Bookharlot
Can't wait for this!!! :)
paul moglr
34. phlebbb2000
Another Scalzi Grand Slam!!! Loved "Old Mans War","The Ghost Brigades"etc....etc...as soon as "Redshirts"comes out it goes directly to my Kindle......
Brian M.
35. Gabriel Landowski
Brian M.
36. A.L. Hern
If Mr Scalzi REALLY had a sense of humor (and, perhaps, sense of history), his redshirts would be serving on the starship U.S.S. Garibaldi.

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