The Hell of It February 25, 2015 The Hell of It Peter Orullian What will he wager? Schrödinger’s Gun February 18, 2015 Schrödinger’s Gun Ray Wood Maybe in some other timeline it would have gone smooth. Acrobatic Duality February 11, 2015 Acrobatic Duality Tamara Vardomskaya The two of her are perfectly synchronized. The Language of Knives February 4, 2015 The Language of Knives Haralambi Markov They share the rites of death, and grief.
From The Blog
March 2, 2015
A Ranking of 1980s Fantasy That Would Please Crom Himself!
Leah Schnelbach
February 27, 2015
Goodbye, Mr. Nimoy — What Spock Meant to One Geeky 12-Year-Old Girl
Emily Asher-Perrin
February 26, 2015
Introducing the Star Trek The Original Series Rewatch
Keith DeCandido
February 23, 2015
Oh No, She Didn’t: The Strong Female Character, Deconstructed
Ilana C. Myer
February 20, 2015
Evil Eighties: The Paperback Horrors of Lisa Tuttle
Grady Hendrix
Showing posts by: emily asher-perrin click to see emily asher-perrin's profile
Fri
Feb 27 2015 4:45pm

Goodbye, Mr. Nimoy — What Spock Meant to One Geeky 12-Year-Old Girl

Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, DeForrest Kelly

“Leonard Nimoy just died.”

You hear things like that in an office all the time, especially when everyone works on the internet. And normally hearing those words are sad, but you can bounce back from them. You are aware that public grief is a strange beast, made more strange by social media. Countless pieces get written on this phenomena, on participating in grief by sharing articles and ‘liking’ statuses, on whether it means anything. But at the moment, I just can’t be bothered with that kind of analysis. What we feel is real.

And Leonard Nimoy meant something to me.

[I long have, and forever shall be, your friend.]

Thu
Feb 26 2015 1:20pm

The Harry Potter Reread, The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 26 and 27

The Harry Potter Reread remembers when midnight showing of movies were all the rage, but now they tend to show them at 8pm instead and the reread sort of misses midnight movie premiers, but it’s nice not to be sleep deprived, so there’s that?

Today we’re diving under the lake and getting in some quality godfather time. It’s Chapters 26 and 27 of The Goblet of Fire—The Second Task and Padfoot Returns.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Feb 19 2015 10:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 24 and 25

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread is looking forward to rocking a casbah of some sort. If only someone would invite it to rock a casbah.

This week we’re getting another dose of horrible reporting and taking an awesome bath. We’re on Chapters 24 and 25 of The Goblet of Fire—Rita Skeeter’s Scoop and The Egg and the Eye.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Tue
Feb 17 2015 10:00am

The Mummy was the Indiana Jones Successor that We Deserved

The Mummy, Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz

It seems that everyone is using Indiana Jones as their inspiration these days. Listen to directors on both Doctor Who and Supernatural describe specific seasons of either show as “our Raiders of the Lost Ark,” or the myriad of filmmakers who bump it to the top of their lists of films that affected them as children, the ones that mattered most in their development into mature movie-type people. Now there’s a plan to reboot the whole thing because we can never really get enough of the famed archaeologist.

But who stacks up against Spielberg’s classics on film? (Do not say National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets.) In other media realms? There’s much to be said for the Lara Crofts and Daniel Jacksons of the world, but they seem to miss out on the key notes that Indy hit.

So I’m nominating The Mummy.

[“Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you’re on the wrong side of the ri-ver!”]

Thu
Feb 12 2015 10:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapter 23

The Harry Potter Reread is all gussied up, mainly because it likes the term “gussied.” Why dont people use it anymore? They should.

This week it’s every teenage nightmare come true! We’re on Chapter 23 of The Goblet of Fire—The Yule Ball.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Tue
Feb 10 2015 9:00am

The King That Might Have Returned: Five Actors Who Almost Played Aragorn in Lord of the Rings

Viggo Mortensen, Aragorn

Oh, Viggo. Truly, you are the only Aragorn for us. Er, the only Strider. Only Elessar. Whatever.

Viggo Mortensen did a few things with his character that transcended typical actorly dedication; he only used his heavy steel sword on set, rather than the lighter aluminum ones built for stunts (and the stunt guys had the bruises to prove it). He was prone to dragging the sword around everywhere, and got stopped by the cops when he was spotted carrying it in public. He asked for more of his lines to be written in elvish. He once kicked a helmet so hard that he broke his toes, but still stayed in character for the take.

It’s pretty well-known that his casting in Lord of the Rings occurred late in the game (they had already started shooting), but do you know the other names that were considered? Because they’re mostly big-deal picks, and imagining any one of them in the role leads to a strange alternate reality.

Let’s imagine them.

[No! Not the orcs, not the ooorrrcccs!]

Thu
Feb 5 2015 10:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 21 and 22

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread was listening to some sweet tunes on its commute this morning, so it will begin this reread with a Lyric of the Day: My my, but time do fly, when it’s in another pair of pants.

We’re dealing with the aftermath of defeating a dragon and getting awkward about dancing. It’s chapters 21 and 22 of The Goblet of Fire—The House-Elf Liberation Front and The Unexpected Task.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Tue
Feb 3 2015 10:30am

Creating Headcanons: Everyone Does It

Tony Stark, headcanon accepted

I like really bad movies sometimes. And when I do, there are different roots to this problem. On occasion, it just has the right elements combined to get me on board. On occasion, it’s nostalgia. And on occasion, someone points out to me that said media is crap, and I give them my most puzzled stare.

And then I realize I’ve headcanoned it.

[I’m guessing this happens to a lot of people.]

Thu
Jan 29 2015 3:30pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 19 and 20

The Harry Potter Reread is gonna take the bull by the horns, walk it straight over to the castle gate, have it sing the guards a song, then rush the throne room and install the bull as the new monarch. It seems a reasonable way to conduct one’s business affairs.

This week we’re gonna read is really annoying article and probably fight some dragons or whatever. It’s chapters 19 and 20 of The Goblet of Fire—The Hungarian Horntail and The First Task.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Mon
Jan 26 2015 9:30am

This is Why Obi-Wan Lied to Luke Skywalker About His Father

Star Wars, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan

The Star Wars films aren’t exactly complicated fare, particularly the original trilogy. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) Luke Skywalker’s journey is pretty cut and dry, a solid line from farmboy to superbad in several short years. The Empire falls, the Rebels win, everyone is back on Endor in time for stormtrooper stew.

But how do you topple a galactic Empire, really? How do you get a boy who’s never known a life outside the sticks to become a galactic savior in the same amount of time that it usually takes to earn a bachelor’s degree?

The plan is likely less perfect than it appears.

[I’m coming with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now.]

Thu
Jan 22 2015 2:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 17 and 18

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread as never been to finishing school, and thus cannot explain the benefit of being able to balance a book on one’s head. But the reread is pretty sure that it will never need to know that.

We’re about to get into some tense teacher fights and meet the wizard in world’s worst reporter. It’s chapters 17 and 18 of The Goblet of Fire—The Four Champions and The Weighing of the Wands.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 15 2015 11:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 15 and 16

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread just wants the sun to stay up for longer, is all. It doesn’t seem much to ask, having some daylight during the day. Winter is probably better for wizards.

We’re about to be illegally cursed by a professor and meet some international wizarding students! It’s chapters 15 and 16 of The Goblet of Fire—Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and The Goblet of Fire.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 8 2015 3:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 13 and 14

The Harry Potter Reread is excited to have its very first post in a different year! It should probably get itself a cookie when its birthday rolls around. Mm, birthday cookie.

But first, to business! We are going to learn the importance of ferrets and have a questionable DADA lesson. It’s time for chapters 13 and 14—Mad-Eye Moody and The Unforgivable Curses.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 8 2015 10:00am

All Tim Burton Movies Occur in the Same Universe

Nightmare Before Christmas, Tim Burton, Burtonverse

Tim Burton—a director often noted for his visual vernacular, his love of the macabre, and his dedication to heroic outcasts. A director who creates worlds where the mundane and the fantastically strange collide messily, often resulting in magic or terror. There is a certain flair, a flavor to Burton films that easily set them apart from the work of other directors and the majority of mainstream cinema.

But could it be more than that? Could these films actually exist in the same world—could all of them apply? And would that finally explain why every character looks like Johnny Depp?

[Before he came it never snowed.]

Mon
Jan 5 2015 11:00am

Tangled, Brave, and Frozen All Made the Same Critical Mistake

Tangled, Frozen, Brave

It’s been over a year since the family hit Frozen graced screens, although you wouldn't know it considering how widespread its popularity has become. The popularity isn’t all that mysterious once you break it down; it has some seriously catchy tunes, and seems to be the flag-bearing standard for what Disney’s current line up is trying to accomplish, namely, producing stories about feisty, tougher princesses who don’t necessarily need a man (though that might be nice); stories about the relationships between women in all of their complexities.

But there’s a gaping hole in these newer films that will likely not be addressed in coming attractions. Can you guess what it is?

[They’re all a bit of a fixer-upper...]

Sun
Jan 4 2015 12:00pm

Why Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Beats All Other Indy Films

Why Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Beats All Other Indy Films

This is one of those opinions that is probably going to get me hauled out to face some sort of tribunal under charges of blasphemy. See, when it comes to Indiana Jones, most hardcore fans will say it’s Raiders, obviously. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the best Indiana Jones film, the only one that matters, and for the most part, I completely understand why. It’s our introduction to a beloved pop culture hero, Harrison Ford is a handsome dog in it, the fedora, the whip, Karen Allen being awesome, plus America has only recently gotten over its love affair with beating up Nazis in every WWII-era film it puts out. (Although considering last year's Inglorious Bastards, it might appear that we haven’t gotten over it at all.)

But I’m going to say it: I don’t think it’s the best Indiana Jones film. I think that award goes to The Last Crusade.

[Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek…]

Sat
Jan 3 2015 7:00am

J. R. R. Tolkien Went into the West, but Gave Us Middle-earth

JRR TolkienIt’s January 3, which means that on this day, in 1892, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was born. Undoubtedly one of the most influential authors of modern mythic literature, Tolkien spent his childhood as an avid reader and a lover of language. As a boy, he often preferred to invent new tongues himself or with friends. His youthful fancies informed his academic career, and Tolkien eventually became a professor of English Literature. In the 1930s, he wrote an article about the criticism of Beowulf that forever changed how the literary world academically viewed the poem.

[Read More]

Thu
Jan 1 2015 12:00pm

Feral Ewoks and Other Disturbing Things That Star Wars Slides Right By Us

Star Wars, Han Solo, Return of the Jedi, Ewok food

Because the Star Wars films are largely thought of in the “pure entertainment” department, we tend to gloss over little scraps of information that fill out the galaxy and make it seem lived-in. Which is just fine for daily viewing, but what happens when you take a closer look at certain scraps? It’s not exactly pretty. Sure, the Empire Strikes Back features torture and dueling and epic defeat all over the place, but that, as they say—

Well, it ain’t the half of it.

[“It appears that you are to be the main course of a banquet in my honor.”]

Mon
Dec 29 2014 2:00pm

Thor and Loki are Probably Naked Onscreen Most of the Time

Thor Loki Tom Hiddleston Chris Hemsworth The Avengers

There’s a deleted scene from Thor where the big guy and his brother have a chat right before he goes into the grand hall to be coronated. (We all remember how well that works out for him.) He’s got the jitters and Loki is engaging in a good old game of brotherly banter to get Thor’s mind out of Lake Anxiety. The teasing eventually falls back onto their associative animals, drawing attention to Loki’s glorious, horned helm.

But… where’d he get that thing anyhow?

[It was probably a birthday present.]

Fri
Dec 26 2014 3:30pm

Defanged, but Not Declawed: Into the Woods

Into the Woods, Little Red Riding Hood

Into the Woods has been a point of concern to everyone who knows the show since the Disney and Rob Marshall set out to make it happen as a film. Why? Let’s just say there are many aspects to the tale that are not exactly Disney-friendly, particularly in regard to how Disney does fairy tales. And while it’s good to find they didn’t abandon the ugliness of that world altogether, they do pull enough punches to make it irritating.

[I wish…]