Tue
Sep 4 2012 3:05pm

First Trailer for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters Hits

Jeremy Renner is Hansel. Famke Janssen Gemma Arterton is Gretel. But what if it had been the other way around? 

15 comments
Lee VanDyke
1. Cloric
Gemma Arterton plays the role of Gretel, Famke Janssen is some character named Muriel... the witch, perhaps.

edit to add:

As much as I'm gonna love seeing Jeremy Renner on the big screen again, this trailer leaves me... I don't know... unsure I guess. It sort of looks like Michael Bay's take on the Brothers Grimm.
Ryan Britt
2. ryancbritt
@Cloric. Thanks for the catch. We were so distracted by all the absurdity that we messed up on the names.
ShinySpecialOne
3. ShinySpecialOne
I saw an early screening of this months ago. It was...so bad. So so bad. OMG, badness wrapped is evil bacon bad.
ing3nu
4. ing3nu
Oh look, it's Van Helsing part deux...
Lee VanDyke
5. Cloric
@ryancbritt

No problem. I understand. It looks like I might... MIGHT... catch it once it comes to Netflix streaming and I don't have to pay anything extra... or half price day at the dollar movies would probably be worth it.
David Thomson
6. ZetaStriker
If this really is a spiritual successor to Van Hellsing, I hope it also feature the dreaded Death By Couch as its twist ending.
Natasa Anastasiou
7. NatasaWMYB
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s American accents in a medieval-European setting. It screams fake and annoys the heck out of me. Also, “Hell yeah”? Somehow I doubt people said that in the 19th century.

I know this is supposed to be a modernized retelling of a fairytale, but... no. Just no.

I’ll still watch it, but I’ll leave my brain at home just in case it turns out to be a brain cell killing movie, and based solely on the trailer that’s definitely what it looks like it’s going to be.
Mari Ness
8. MariCats
This looks so gloriously, wonderfully terrible. I can't - -no, no. On second thought, I can definitely wait.
ShinySpecialOne
9. tatere
did other people see the trailer before the trailer? i was curious to see how the apparently standard American romcom horror would turn into witch hunting horror. but i guess they're still separate - for now.

it looked OK - lots of slidey metal clicking sounds and earth shattering kabooms. our needs are simple.

also, because it seems inevitable:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmPNuruWMTA
ShinySpecialOne
10. Megaduck
Looks like a bunch of snappy one lines to tie together a series of explosions with a threadbare plot and nonexistant charecters...

As ing3nu said, it's Van Hellsing part 2
ShinySpecialOne
11. TBGH
I must . . . I must watch more . . .
Jenny Thrash
12. Sihaya
It's so over the top, I think Ash is going to show up with his chainsaw. Which of course means I must see it. I hope it send up all of the other overly stylized fairtale action f and horror films of the last few years.
ShinySpecialOne
13. Geoff Coupe
Dear god, preserve me. And I speak as an atheist. "The Company of Wolves" this is not. As a new take on a classic tale, this is not for me. Dreadful. In just one sense.
Bridget Smith
14. BridgetSmith
For me, Gemma Arterton is forever ruined by Clash of the Titans. I hated her character SO MUCH in that movie (ok, I actually hated everyone except Andromeda, but Sam Worthington is too bland for hate to stick and, well, Liam Neeson is Liam Neeson) that I will probably never be able to watch her in anything again. Sorry, Gemma Arterton.
ShinySpecialOne
15. Kylara
I can't take them seriously when they're yellling Hansel and Gretel. Also, the gretel seemed very stiff.

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