May 4 2012 2:35pm

Excuse Us While We Lose Our Minds. A Spoiler Review of The Avengers

Spoiler review of The Avengers

The Avengers is better than it has any right to be.

First things first, if you’re a comic book fan then you’re going to like this movie. It’s the epitome of a big, fun comic book adventure and will not be easily matched in this regard by any ensuing superhero films. The Dark Knight Rises will probably feel as epic, but certainly not as entertaining.

For those who are only familiar with these characters because of the movies, you won’t be taking home any profound messages, symbolism, or themes as they apply to society at large. But you’ll still feel like you had a full experience.

We all have Joss Whedon to thank for this. This is unmistakeably his script and his movie.



Seriously, we are going to dive right into this, including the two post-credit sequences. If you want a spoiler-free review, go here.


This is actually a tough movie to recap, as the movie is saturated with funny lines and interstitial scenes where the ensemble gets room to breathe and interact. This is where Whedon’s writing and structural style is most apparent, as many of these interactions are whittled down to the sharpest, cleverest dialogue. The emotions being played here turn on a phrase, resulting in scenes that deliver so much in such a small amount of time that they end up delivering just as much of an impact as the action sequences. These scenes are layered in all throughout the film and quickly become a steady background to the main plot points, so a blow by blow recap is going to miss some of these finer details.

The Avengers kicks off by immediately confirming the rumor that the Earth is under alien attack by the end of the film. We see aliens who call themselves the Chitauri hand off a staff to Loki that will allow him to access the Tesseract (the shiny all-powerful cube thing). He does this with a quickness and before you know it he’s in the underground SHIELD facility where Hawkeye and Selvig, the older Norwegian scientist from Thor, are guarding and studying the Tesseract. Loki puts them under his control while Nick Fury, SHIELD director Maria Hill, and Agent Coulson collapse the base in an attempt to get it back. They fail, and the end of the world seems imminent. Time to call in some heroes.

Coulson gathers Black Widow who in turn gathers Bruce Banner, aka, the Hulk. Fury convinces Captain America to join them while Coulson meets with Tony Stark. Pepper Potts (a guest-starring Gwyneth Paltrow) and Coulson turn out to have become buddy-buddy and are on a first-name basis. (Tony: “Um, excuse me. His first name is Agent.”)

Loki, meanwhile, is in Germany looking dapper and stealing some iridium to power a machine that will allow the Tesseract to open a huge portal for the Chitauri to come through and invade. That’s their deal: Loki gets the Tesseract, the Chitauri get Earth.

The Avengers aren’t even a concern yet, so Loki has some fun with the assembled nighttime crowd in Germany, forcing them to kneel and going on about how being controlled is humanity’s natural state. One old man, who lived through World War II, refuses to kneel and Loki makes an example of him.

Or he would have, if Cap wasn’t suddenly there to block Loki’s blast with his shield. The two of them tussle and it becomes apparent that Cap can’t quite take on a god in hand to hand combat. At least not until Iron Man shows up to finish things off.

Loki is captured, but the proto-Avengers don’t get far before Thor lands on their plane, intent on dealing with Loki himself. The two brothers have words on the ground below before Iron Man and Cap tackle him in an attempt to take Loki back. Cap blocks a direct blow from Thor’s hammer, a blow powerful enough to shatter the forest around them, which cools everyone down long enough for them to suss out that they have the same goal.

Loki’s quickly locked away on the SHIELD helicarrier, in a cell strong enough to hold the Hulk, and the film spends its second act with the characters interacting back and forth as they try to suss out what the plan is, how to respond, who they can trust, where the Tesseract is, and why Tony won’t stop meddling in everyone’s business. (The last bit isn’t anything out of character. Tony’s default setting is to walk into a room and kick over the rock that no one wants to look under.) None of the Avengers are particularly fond of each other at this point. Cap doesn’t trust Fury or even like Tony. Tony thinks Banner is playing it a little too cool. Black Widow is worried about Hawkeye, as the two of them have a history, but trying to do her job regardless. Even if it means he’s likely to die if she succeeds.

Black Widow has an intense interrogation scene with Loki where she finds out he plans to enrage Banner long enough for him to smash up the flying ship and escape back to where Loki has hidden the Tesseract. Hawkeye then reappears, slips on to the Helicarrier, and gets in a few precise shots. Enough to leave the aerial aircraft carrier tilting out of the sky.

Iron Man suits up and takes care of the damage while Cap fights off the insurgent SHIELD forces that Loki has turned. Banner finally Hulks out and chases Black Widow all around the ship until Thor arrives to tussle with the Hulk. (And it’s great, naturally.) Loki makes his escape.

Or he would, if Agent Coulson wasn’t waiting outside Loki’s cell with a fancy new gun. Although he admits, “It’s new. I don’t even know what it does.” We could listen to Coulson all day, personally, but sadly we can’t. This is a Joss Whedon film, and someone who hasn’t had a movie sequel already announced has to die. Loki tricks Coulson and stabs him through the chest, but not before Coulson gets in a great burn in the form of a laser shot from his gun. “Oh, so that’s what it does.”

Loki also tricks Thor into his own cell (“Will you ever stop falling for that?”) and shunts him 30,000 feet down. Hulk has also fallen off the ship and Iron Man’s armor is badly damaged from repairing the helicarrier. Hawkeye is back, but reeling from Loki’s mind control. The Avengers have been broken before they’ve even really begun.

And then they find Coulson. “It’s okay, they needed this,” Coulson gasps to Fury. “Something to...” He’s gone. We don’t know what the next word was going to be, but from the title of the movie, we can guess.

Loki has made this personal now and Tony quits being an impediment and the Avengers, on their own, assemble just as Loki and Selvig finish the portal machine and open Manhattan’s skies to the Chitauri.

What follows is the Avengers turning back an epic invasion, under Cap’s orders. (“...and Hulk? Smash.”) That flying serpent thing in the trailer? There’s DOZENS of them. Oh, and the Hulk? Turns out Banner can control him now. (“You want to know the secret of how I do it? I’m angry all the time.”)

The directing board of SHIELD isn’t counting on the Avengers, despite Fury standing resolutely behind them, and they launch a nuke at Manhattan to stop the invasion. (The shadowy directing board is really dumb all throughout the movie, so no surprise there.)

The Avengers get control of the portal and are ready to close it, but not before Iron Man flies the nuke up through it, into deep space, and into the Chitauri mothership. The portal is closed before the nuke’s blast wave can reach it, and Iron Man only just squeaks through in time, his armor busted but the fight over. “So, Shawarma? There’s one two blocks from here. I’ve never been to one. We should try it.”

Loki is captured and he and the Tesseract are taken back to Asgard by Thor and the Avengers go their separate ways. Nick Fury isn’t worried. When they need them again, the Avengers will be there. And Tony Stark is definitely putting plans together for some kind of headquarters....

The credits roll. Then they stop rolling. In deep space, the Chitauri address their leadership, noting that Earth is far more tenacious than they realized and that they should leave it well enough alone. Their leader turns his head and smiles. Thanos is obviously not dissuaded.

The credits continue, reach their conclusion, and we see the post-credits scene they filmed only weeks prior to the film’s release: All of the Avengers in their gear in a hole-in-the-wall dive, eating some truly awful-looking shawarma silently around a table, exhausted. Fade to black.


Things That Were Even More Awesome Than Chris Expected:

1.) The Hulk. Mark Ruffalo turns in an amazing, definitive performance of Bruce Banner in only a few scenes and by the end of the movie you are ready, so very ready, to see the Hulk bounding around New York City beating the crap out of things a million times his size. Which is exactly what you get. I would watch a Hulk movie after this.

2.) Captain America. I might be the only person thinking this, but Chris Evans is so oddly pure in his performance as Captain America that I want to endlessly watch him interact with people. When the NYPD ask why they should take orders from him during the alien attack, I wanted him to yell, “Because I’m Captain America, godblessit!” and I would love a well-crafted movie about Captain America becoming the superhero icon of the modern age.

3.) Thanos. I did not see that coming, and I had a big list of what the post-credits twist would be. Thanos is a concept so huge that I’m not sure how they’re going to make him plausible. It took five movies just to establish the Avengers as something not to be mocked, how will they do that with a universe-spanning psychopath who wants nothing more than to be the consort of Death? (And don’t even get me started on the possibility of an Infinity Gauntlet showing up. No, don’t get me started! I said no!)


Chris’ One Criticism of the Film:

Joss Whedon needs to pick up the pace. There was some criticism before the movie came out that the action sequences didn’t provide enough oomph and while that’s not true, they are a bit slower than you expect. It’s a difference of nanoseconds during editing, really. Whedon is just slow to cut to the next punch, the next strike, the next explosion, and in comparison to today’s films, you actually notice this. It’s mostly noticeable in a movie theater audience. We want to hoot and yell and clap, but the just-off editing prevents the audience’s energy from building to a peak.


Things That Were Even More Awesome Than Emily Expected:

1.) Loki. Yes, Tom Hiddleson was easily one of the best parts of Thor, but there were a few things missing from that movie that prevented him from being a more formidable, well-rounded villain. This time around we actually get to see just how well that silver tongue works, watch him specifically manipulate people and be truly nasty. All while having a sense of humor, of course, the way all good villains do. Frankly, he and Thor felt more like actual brothers in this film, something that Thor also missed out on. The look on his face when the lightning starts overhead and he realizes big brother is coming to whup his behind? The argument that ends with “I’m listening”? I want a personal gaurantee that Loki will come back in a sequel. Preferably side-switching to save Thor while the team argues about how they can’t trust him (because they can’t).

2.) Stark and Banner = Genius Flirting. Of course we expect Tony to have a bit of a brain crush on Bruce Banner, but the movie takes it to another level by giving the self-obsessed Tony someone he feels the need to prop up and give agency to. The idea that Tony respects both the Jekyll and the Hyde of Bruce’s person and, more importantly, understands the need for Hyde, was a stellar choice within the script. Also, there was genius flirting. (An aside: Thank you for that perfect Potts cameo. I would watch an entire movie of her and Tony arguing over 12%.)

3.) Magic and Science. In Thor, the eponymous god tells Jane that where he comes from, magic and science are one and the same, but that doesn’t mean that was going to translate well to screen. Iron Man director Jon Favreau commented to that effect, saying that he didn’t think he could direct an Avengers movie after Iron Man because he wouldn’t know how to merge those sensibilies. Joss Whedon managed to do it without a single word — in the initial smackdown bewteen Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America, we simply watch as these three try and fail to tear each other apart. The hammer deflects off the shield, and everyone has to calm the heck down. Magic and science together. Deal with it.

4.) Black Widow. Wait, she’s an actual character? She acts like a spy? She gets equal screentime with the boys? She has motivation and the best stunt double ever?


Emily’s One Criticism of the Film:

They left off the scene with Cap and Peggy. I know that Whedon said it was slowing the film down and couldn’t be there, but I really wanted to see it.

Chris Lough is the Production Manager of and bounded straight out of his seat and instantly found the manager when the movie froze early on. You’re welcome, theater 4 at Union Square.

Emily Asher-Perrin is the Editorial Assistant. She already misses Agent Coulson.

Kerry Z
1. Kerry Z
There were several things I liked about this movie. First, the audience actually applauded when it ended; I didn't see that with any of the others preceding.

Second, my all-time favorite line: Natasha tells Captain America to give Thor and Loki a wide berth (or words to that effect), saying "they're basically gods." Cap's response: "There is only one God, and I'm pretty sure He doesn't dress like that."

Third, how Hulk handled the Asgardians (the Aesir, to be technical--not to be confused with the Vanir Frey and his hotty sister, Freya). First, Loki tries to do a divine browbeat on him, and Hulk beat him like he owned him. And he walks away with this classic: "Puny god." Second, Hulk and Thor walking side by side--and then Hulk sucker-punches the thunder god upside the head!
Kerry Z
2. wiredog
The shadowy directing board is really dumb all throughout the movie,

So, basically, the Watcher's Council.
lake sidey
3. lakesidey
How do I love this movie? Let me count the ways....

I don't suppose there is any point going on about Iron Man and so on....I never expected RDJ to be anything less than awesome, and he did not disappoint. But I was pleasantly surprised by most characters I had little or no expectation from:

The Hulk was the single most unexpected source of satisfaction. (I am not much of a Hulk fan, largely thanks to the 2003 movie). A couple of awesome moments as the green guy - one being Cap's orders "...and Hulk? Smash!" and the second being the moment when he manhandles (godhandles?) Loki like a red-headed stepchild 5 seconds after Loki has explained haughtily that he is a God - but also, I loved him when he just plain vanilla Bruce Banner; I hope Ruffalo gets to reprise this role sometime.

Also Hawkeye. Brooding, quiet, solemn....and awesome. In roughly equal measures. Less screen time than most, but I still came away impressed. And the Black Widow is more than just a spandexed sex symbol - she has a personality and an agenda and as much of a role to play as anyone. Coulson - never knew that such a guy existed (hadn't seen the other Marvelverse movies), but by the time he did an exeunt right, I was totally rooting for him.

If I have to give one criticism, Captain America was perhaps the only one I was disappointed in. A bit. And only in the non-action bits. Some of them.

Now I need to go see it again.

Kerry Z
4. Maribeth Martell
Emily: I hear that the Avengers DVD will have every bit of the 45 minutes of cut footage! A reason to buy the DVD! Yay!

And yeah, Coulson gets the ubiquitous sucking chest wound (Joss' favorite way of killing the characters we love)... I hate to see him go... do you think Stark could make an automatan out of him? LOL
Kerry Z
5. chosen
Come on Chris, an Infinity Gauntlet story arc could be amazing, if done properly and if Joss is at the helm, then I say lets get started!
Gregg Anderson
6. digrifter
I missed the very last cut scene! And I already watched the movie TWICE!

Kerry Z
7. politeruin
"What is this, Shakespeare in the park? Dost thy mother know thou wearest her drapes?"

Funniest line of the film but for some reason not often quoted, go figure.

The hulk was amazing obviously but i loved the cap as well so i'm glad you pointed that out, they showed him a natural leader and living up to the promise when whedon said he wanted to see what his shield was capable of.

That leads on to the editing which i had no problem with really, you could probably point to the first hour being less than urgent because of this but not the actions scenes surely. There was that really beautiful sequence with iron man flying through the chitauri, knocking them everywhere, helping cap out by firing into his shield then flying off which was so very cool. The battle sequences had loads of seamless moments like that.

Enjoyed it immensely though us UK viewers didn't get the shawarma extra.
john mullen
8. johntheirishmongol
I have to disagree that the cuts were too slow. You have to let the scenes play out and give them a second to absorb before you go on to the next one. Otherwise you end up with scenes that have no impact. Pauses are important. Too many movies lose the impact because they rush and try to crowd in too much too fast. Thats why the reaction shot at the end of the movie is so funny, because you get to see them exhausted and just too tired to even enjoy the victory.

I think the movie is amazingly well done. The casting was excellent and action scenes were amazing. It was fairly verbal in the beginning, but I wouldn't say it was slow, because they were so well done.

Best scene: Hulk v Loki
Best couple: Stark and Penny, but it was close
Best hero: Cap...hands down and by far the hardest character to play.
Best line: This is a Joss movie..there are way too many, but I liked when Stark grabbed Hawkeye saying, "c'mon Legolas"

Highly recommended and can't wait for more!
Del C
9. del
Aesir, to be technical

Æsir if you want to be really technical :-)

Rob Hansen
10. RobHansen
Several people have assumed the post-credits teaser with Thanos was an indication of where a second movie might go. Not necessarily since the reveal was all about telling you who the "he" referred to at several points was, the villain Loki was actually allied with, the Big Bad who the Chitauri troops belonged to. It took me a second viewing and playing close attention to the dialogue to pick up on this, I admit. Also, it takes a certain amount of chutzpah to reveal who your movie's villain has been working with and have it be someone most of your audience won't recognize. That's an amazing piece of fan service.
Thomas Jeffries
11. thomstel
Film was beyond what I expected, even with Whedon at the helm. Hulk levelling that first eel-ship...chills man!

But the funniest moment was in the theater, as Thanos's craggy chin swivelled toward the audience, and a trio of guys behind us started in with "That's Galactus man, I don't know what he does, but that's so Galactus!"

My friend and I double-facepalmed silently...
Kerry Z
12. Cell
This movie was amazing. I was so very, very impressed but (as I told my family as we were continually floored) "It's Joss, man! How could it have been bad?"

And @ thomstel: That's a little better than what happened in my theater. Thanos turned and my entire side of the theater all gasped in recognition before we realized collectively that it wasn't Darkseid. Which left me confused and itching to Google 'Marvel version Darkseid' and the guys in front of me belligerently insistent that "That's the guy who beats up Superman! They're gonna do a Justice League/Avengers movie!"

(Apologies are in order to the 11:30 showing at the Village last night. The plaintive wail of "Dammit, Whedon!" when Coulson slumped against the wall was mine. I apologize.)
Kerry Z
14. politeruin

I, for one, welcome our redhead geek writing overlord.
Bridget Smith
15. BridgetSmith
What I most appreciated is that Joss Whedon knows what we want from crossovers: a chance to see characters who effectively live in different worlds interacting. We got pretty much every character speaking to every other character in this movie, which was fantastic. Some of them get along smashingly, some...smash each other, and both are awesome to watch.

I'd have liked Captain America to speak a little differently, like Thor, just enough to show how he doesn't quite fit, but he was otherwise quite good. And I was REALLY impressed with Scarlett Johansson here: I don't like her in general, hated her in Iron Man 2, and was expecting to hate her here, but she was fantastic. I would gladly go see her in her own feature (assuming, of course, that it looked good).

Hulk interrupting Loki's speech to smash him around the room was one of my favorite bits. Tom Hiddleston is great at the dramatic speeches, but Joss Whedon isn't very tolerant of them. Loki gets away with it as long as he's speaking to people who expect speeches, but the Hulk is...well. Impatient. Biggest laugh in my theater.
Kerry Z
16. Glen Fuller
Why I liked about the film was the way Whedon adjusted the humor for each of the characters so they were funny on their own terms, but because it was character-based it reminded us (the audience) who they were.
Hulk: humor was slapstick and very physical/violence, like when he punches Thor during the main battle.
CA: his man-out-of-time-ness re the wizard of oz reference and the reference to getting references (Whedonesque).
BW: damsel in distress inversion (classic Whedon!).
TS: the way he mixes business (& science/money ie 12%) and pleasure
AC: true fan of hero CA

The only main character who didn't get a funny turn was HE, and he also felt pretty flat. For that matter even SJJ as Fury got some pretty weak non-character specific quips (" a magazine?").
Kerry Z
17. Cadeyrn
No worries about the missing scenes. Joss Whedon has said the blu-ray release will have 30 minutes of extra scenes on it (his initial cut was 3 hours long!).
Kerry Z
18. MJH
1) All of RDJ/IM quotes: Stand down Reindeer games.
2) Coulson. Period.
3) Thor: "He's Adopted."
4) When Cap says, "Hulk? Smash." I loved the grin on Hulk's face before he started just beating the crap outta everything that was silver and moved.
5) THANOS!!!
The end.
Kerry Z
19. AlBrown
This was the best Marvel movie yet, as Whedon did a great job making each superhero a character, and really letting their personalities come through in the writing and performances. Cap was a little subdued, but it is obvious that Whedon wanted him portrayed as still reeling from his abrupt transition from the height of WWII into the modern world. Everyone has hit on the great lines and great moments above, there were just so many of them.
Is Coulson dead? IMHO, no he isn't. Fury wanted to give the team someone or something to avenge. He said that the medics called it, but the audience heard no such thing. He lied about the Cap trading cards, why not lie about Couldson's death? (I have a vested interest here, I like Coulson, and want him to return, and I have hope, because everyone knows that "death" is often just a pause between appearances in comic books!)
Kerry Z
20. ladysugarquill
That’s their deal: Loki gets the Tesseract, the Chitauri get Earth.

It was the other way around XD
Kerry Z
21. politeruin
It doesn't pass the bechdel test though which is a damn shame, it would have ticked most of the boxes then. Black widow is one of the very very few 'whedon women' that i find not to be an utterly cliched extreme one way or the other but a nice balance of strong and vulnerable. That scene with loki being a particular delight to watch.
Ian Gazzotti
23. Atrus
What johntheirishmongol@8 said: I felt, for once, that the pacing of all the scenes was just fine. Often enough superhero movies are 90 minutes of nothing happening followed by 10 minutes of so much stuff in a row that you can't possibily absorb - or appreciate - it all. The action scenes in Avengers had the people in my theatre clap and cheer all the time precisely because there was that beat between scenes where you could do that.

politeruin@21: that's a problem that unfortunately started 5 movies ago, since they only could use established characters in this movie; had it been me, I would've introduced another female Avenger in Thor instead of Hawkeye who, IMHO, is a very bland one-note character.
Kerry Z
24. politeruin
#23 That's what is frustrating because they had another female shield agent right there in the form of maria hill but i feel she was under utilised. Far as i recall i don't think her and romanoff ever interact, maybe there's something in the extra footage.
Ian Gazzotti
25. Atrus
@politeruin: Maria's character is pretty weird, she has that big action sequence at the start then mostly disappears in the background; more than a character cameo, less than a full role. I wonder if they meant to do more with her and then had to drop it on the cutting floor.
Pamela Adams
26. PamAdams
...there is such a thing as a tesseract.
Melissa Shumake
27. cherie_2137
i LOVED the wizard of oz reference and cap's reaction. i giggled for a solid minute afterward.

and thor's "he's adopted" was also great.

i really enjoyed the entire movie and was very impressed.

i wish i had known to stick around for another after-credits scene!

and i was disappointed that thor didn't go find jane and give her a big ol' kiss before taking back off for asgard.

i, too, was bewildered by the way that maria was treated, i guess we can expect her to take on a bigger more awesome role in the next movie?
Kerry Z
28. politeruin
Also, i can't quite believe joss managed to get "mewling quim" past the censors, did any americans here understand the slang? I heard a few audible gasps over here when he said that. Respect though. Takes me back to when he got spike to say "wanker" in buffy, as well as the two fingered gesture.
Kerry Z
29. Kinksville
@28 I had a similar reaction when I heard it go flying by in the theater, and went 'Wait, what? How the hell did they get *that* one through?'. It does solidify his utter disdain though.
Melissa Shumake
30. cherie_2137
@28, i was also suprised by that... i seemed to be the only one in my theater who got it (i did whisper to my boyfriend what it was, though)
Kerry Z
31. tigeraid
Agreed completely on the slower pacing--I hate Michael Bay and I hate his movies, and this was a perfect example of how you SHOULD pace an action movie. The action was every bit as exciting and enjoyable because I UNDERSTOOD everything that was going on, it wasn't just some awful blur of mangled wreckage and explosions and loud noises. It felt like a comic book come to life, where the heroes jaw back and forth and it all makes structural SENSE.

This has quickly entered my top 5 favourite movies of all time. The characters play off each other perfectly, the action was immense, and the characters nailed their literary counterparts just as they should. One other thing that impressed me is that they managed to give ALL the heroes something constructive to do... Usually in ensemble hero movies someone always seems to play a bit role (Terry Crews in The Expendables is the first example that pops to mind) ... But every Avenger was useful.

Also, Cobie Smulders is smoking.
Kerry Z
32. Hosh Hsiao
The actions scenes were off by one nano-second? Really? Not enough to get people jumping up and down cheering?

I didn't notice that or miss it. On the other hand, I did notice all that battle scenes feel more like the middle of a WWII movie. Where everyone is tired, and would be traumatized by PTSD if they weren't so bloody tired. (A god suffering from PTSD?)

So if the timing was off, I think it is brilliant.
Kerry Z
33. marqoS
> Stark grabbed Hawkeye saying, "c'mon Legolas"

The actual line was "Better clench up, Legolas." :)
Kerry Z
34. DresdenRose
Just in case you haven't heard. #CoulsonLives. Those of us who love Agent Coulson are on the case.

Joss, are you listening?
Kerry Z
35. dissembly
@politeruin - "What is this, Shakespeare in the park? Dost thy mother know thou wearest her drapes?"

My partner pointed out to me that Kenneth Brannagh directed the Thor movie - Brannagh being famous for his Shakespeare film adaptions.

I love the idea that Joss was giving a little geek shout-out to a fellow excellent writer/director.

By the way, to Chris's comment that the editing in the action sequences was off - could not agree less. The editing in modern film action sequences is usually unbearable (and yes, I'm under 30). Joss has provided two of the major exceptions (Serenity and The Avengers). I think he's doing something right.

What we need is for somebody to hit Micheal Bay over the head with a copy of this movie until he learns something. Actually, just the first part of that sentence is fine on its own.
Kerry Z
36. Makgraf
"And don’t even get me started on the possibility of an Infinity Gauntlet showing up. No, don’t get me started! I said no!"
You're in luck; the Infinity Gauntlet was in Thor (

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