Well, that was an episode of True Blood. We can all agree, right? That was not some other madcap zany sitcom pretending to be True Blood? What a strangely off-putting hour. There was a big Festival of Tolerance no one talked about before this week, more soft-focus sex, and a bit of forward propulsion in the last five minutes. Spoilers ahead.
This week felt like filler. Last week’s episode wasn’t my favorite thus far, but this one was way worse. How a thirteen episode season order can afford filler, I don’t know. There’s too many characters doing their own things this late in the game. The periphery stories don’t seem to cross paths with Sookie’s at all this go-around.
Sookie’s very much hanging with the boys of late. Late boys. Wolf boys. Of course Sookie’s gunshot wound was healed by Bill’s blood. And yes this does mean she’ll have more sex dreams with her ex. Awkward. I can’t condone Sookie asking for Eric when she wakes up to both Bill and Alcide staring at her with such concern. Greedy, greedy. I know I’m rooting for the right guy when Alcide walks away from Sookie in frustration. Is he really done with his crush? I can’t have much respect for a character that can’t take a hint. Sookie’s into vampires.
So Bill and Antonia rumbled in the cemetery last week but all Nan can talk about is the Festival of Tolerance, like we’re supposed to know how important it is even though it’s never been mentioned before. (Correct me if I’m wrong.) But it gives Antonia only a day to to come up with a way to use Eric, now under her control, as a weapon against King Bill. Antonia, by the by, is in full-on diva mode. Locking up your coven is a surefire way to lose fans.
The Monster Box was my favorite part of tonight’s episode. I love how on TV, men can’t function after a breakup and suddenly their homes sprout beer bottles and empty pizza boxes. Hoyt’s living the cliche.
Until Lafayette bursts into his home with a baby and a gun. Nelsan Ellis did a great job transforming his body language to portray Mavis, the woman possessing him. And the reason behind all of the demonic activities at the Bellefleur house. This storyline was just so pointless and over-the-top, I couldn’t even muster the energy to hate on it too much anymore. Watch Andy do a shitty job of secretly taking V again! Hear Jason make a light of a serious situation! I was relieved when Jesus showed up to put an end to all of this nonsense and then it got even more ridicuous. Like Disney’s Haunted Mansion ridiculous with superimposed glowing ghosts and everyone looking on going “It’s a miracle!” Yes. Yes it is a miracle that this fucking dumb C-plot has finally ended as cheesily as it began. Let us put it in the Monster Box and leave it on someone’s doorstep. It is worse than flaming dog poop.
Tommy’s trying to leave Bon Temps, but gets tangled up in Sam’s werewolf pack business. I’m not sure why. Does he think he’s helping Sam by facing off against Marcus? The gesture is nice, but, like everything else Tommy does, misguided. It’s hard to believe Marcus the pack leader is also Marcus the abusive ex-husband. I just want to like him, I guess. I like his gradual friendship with Alcide. But that’s really how abusers work, right? Alcide’s going to regret making a pact with him. But he might regret getting back together with Debbie first. My second favorite part of the episode was Debbie watching Cheaters. That was perfect. Will Sookie find out Debbie tried to double cross her at Antonia’s?
This is also a good time to point out that Joe Manganiello will be playing a male stripper in a new Steven Soderbergh movie. Glad to see he’s not letting himself be typecast. As a naked man.
Sookie’s been spending most of her free time having ludicrous sex dreams. Again. While she raises an excellent point that male-male-female threesomes are somewhat taboo in popular culture, I just didn’t need the feminist theory right now when there’s an impending Festival of Tolerance. Also, it’s not helping her case that she’s in her lingerie while Eric and Bill remain fully dressed. So was that a conversation the vampires will actually remember having in any way? Is this the temporary solution to the love triangle? Seems fair enough to me. But my god, have sex in your waking life, people! Dream-sex doesn’t count. That’s cheating.
Everything about this episode felt weird. Bad pacing, weird editing, bad, swelling music. I love a good end montage, but not the way the rock score swelled up out of nowhere. (Bet when Hoyt told Jason he never wanted to see Jessica again, Hoyt didn’t realize he was giving Jason a silent permission to sleep with her. To Jason, anyway.)
So let’s just forget this episode was about ten minutes long and it all took place at this big political event no other vampires were invited to, until Antonia’s minions showed up and started serious trouble for King Bill. For the most part, True Blood’s been good this year, when it (and Sookie) is focused on the vampire/witch war. Since next week will pick up right where this episode ended, we can just forget about this whole bizarro hour.
And did anyone else’s cable guide mess up the title of this episode? Mine says it was called “Run.” Odd all around this week.
Into the Monster Box it goes....
True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM E/PT on HBO.