Jul 27 2011 3:50pm

You Just Sunk My $200 Million Battleship!: Trailer Review

Once upon a time, the idea of a $200 million movie based on the board game Battleship would have been the stuff of late-night cynical jokes about “we know Hollywood’s absurd but no one could be that absurd.” But if life teaches us anything, it’s that the most unstoppable force known to humankind is our ever-escalating ridiculousness.

Yes, director Peter Berg got Universal to give him $200 million to make a movie of a board game. Yes, the kid from Friday Night Lights is playing the fastest person to become a lieutenant in the history of the military. And yes, Liam Neeson is in this for some reason (and no, the Liam Neeson cheat code will probably not work on this game).

Sure, there’ll probably be a special effects moment or two that kind of rules, and people fighting aliens is always good for a yuk, but $200 million? For a movie based on Battleship? Part of me is never going to be able to get past that, but another part of me remembers that Peter Berg has directed a couple not-half-bad movies in his day (whatever one’s feelings about Hancock, it was well-directed) and given all the toys one can buy for just under a quarter of a billion dollars, there’s a chance that this might transcend being this dumb and either be good, or at the very least dumb fun. Thoughts?

Danny Bowes is a playwright, filmmaker and blogger. He is also a contributor to and

1. Natasa
Could you embed another trailer? YouTube has blocked the above video.
2. SG
*insert surprise joy that this isn't a Michael Bay movie*

*do happy nerd dance*
Curtis Chen
3. sparCKL
Looks like Universal's blocking all the YouTube uploads. You can see the trailer at Yahoo:

And yes, it does look pretty silly.
Chris Hawks
4. SaltManZ
@SG: And yet, they still managed to rip off Michael Bay's Transformers looks and sounds.
5. mister_ethan
So it's Transformers and Independence Day with boats?
Melissa Shumake
6. cherie_2137
this looks so ridiculous. but also like it has potential to be awesome. sorta like battle: los angeles was...
David Palmer
7. DMPalmer
They wanted to film Yahtzee, and it would have been great.

But the creative people didn't want to compromise their artistic vision, and the suits didn't think it could make back the $300M production cost if it stayed NC-17.
8. a1ay
I am reliably informed that "The Island" started off life as a Michael Bay-directed movie version of Snap.
9. Megaduck
This looks like Navy Porn. We got the big guns, the little guns, and a nice shot of the Point Defense Systems doing ... some point defense.

If it has any plot at all I'll be shocked.
Michael Grosberg
10. Michael_GR
Battleship is almost absolutely going to suck, but as for its board game roots, remember this: Pirates of the Caribbean, a movie that singlehandedly restored pirates to their rightful place in media, the film that gave us Jack Sparrow, was based on a theme park ride.
Luis Milan
11. LuisMilan
What Michael_GR said.

If, instead of Battleship the movie was named, I dunno, "Task Force Alpha" or something else, many people would enjoy it as a no-brains-needed popcorn summer flick.
12. RVCBard
Since it's the Navy, we know they're all gay anyway, so they should stop pretending to have a plot and get straight to the porn.

Subscribe to this thread

Receive notification by email when a new comment is added. You must be a registered user to subscribe to threads.
Post a comment