A zombie apocalypse makes for strange bedfellows, and one of the keys to surviving an onslaught of ravenous flesh-eaters is making sure someone has your back. With this in mind, we present today’s question of the day:
Not even the rich and famous are safe from the slings and arrows of the occasional zombie uprising. If you could team up with any celebrity, living or dead, to help fend off the not-so-dead, who would you choose, and why?
What follows below the fold is basically a red-hot parade of sheer zombie fighting awesomeness, starring everyone from Captain Kirk to Teddy Roosevelt to Julia Child. Check out these inspired choices for yourself, and let us know who you would pair up with when facing off against the undead...
Sean Bieri: I bet Ernest Hemingway would come in handy. (Which might change my answer to yesterday’s mashup question to “The Corpse Also Rises”).
Charlie Jane Anders: Prince. He’s come back from the dead several times himself, most notably when he changed his name back from O(+>. Plus he alone can play the magical Purpleaxxe guitar, which might actually confuse the zombies long enough for us to get away. And I could ride on the back of his motorcycle, as long as he didn’t try to trick me into bathing in any lakes.
R.J. Sevin: Chuck Norris. Do I really NEED to say why?
Bob Fingerman: Jason Statham. I get the impression that he can handle himself and keep his sense of humor. Plus, I’m married, so he’s a safe answer. (Plus, my wife thinks he’s a dreamboat, so when I inevitably get eaten she’ll have company she’d hopefully appreciate.)
Sarah Langan: Jason Robards, Javier Bardem, or Cormac McCarthy. Need I explain?
David Moody: There’s a new breed of celebrity infecting our TV stations over here in the U.K.—people who have no discernible talent and who have become famous for either a). being failures, or b). being on reality TV. Here’s an example of the worst of the worst: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedward. They are celebrities just because they are celebrities, if that makes any sense. Anyway, in the event of a zombie uprising, I’d like to arm myself with a coach-load of them. When the dead get too close for comfort, I’d kick a couple of them out onto the street. The pathetic noise they’d make trying to save themselves would be enough of a distraction for me to be able to get away!
Steven Gould: Rush Limbaugh. Cause he’s slower than me and I’d like to see him get eaten.
Walter Greatshell: I mentioned Dwight from The Office in yesterday’s post. But if we’re talking about real celebrities as opposed to fictional characters, I suppose Vincent Price would have to be my choice. Or Boris Karloff. Somebody to class up the joint.
Matt London: Teddy Roosevelt. Outdoorsman, soldier, politician: all the skills you need when trying to live in the post-zombie world.
Paula R. Stiles: Sir Richard Francis Burton. Because he was one tough dude who knew how to take care of himself (and because I loved the Riverworld series). And he’d be a lot of fun. If you know what I mean.
Jamie Lackey: William Shatner. Do I even need a reason? Seriously, if anyone can get me through a zombie apocalypse alive, it’s Captain Kirk. And afterwards we can horseback ride off into the sunset. It’ll be awesome.
Catherine MacLeod: Lizzie Borden. I figure she’d get at least forty of them.
Kim Paffenroth: I’m thinking Hemingway—a man’s man, but literate, soulful. You crack skulls with him all day, then you jump on his boat and go off to safe have in Cuba where you smoke and drink till sun comes up.
Christopher Golden: Everyone else is probably going to say Elvis, but he’s already a zombie, right? I’d have to go with Olivia Wilde. If you have to ask why, perhaps you’ve never actually seen Olivia Wilde.
Carrie Ryan: I think answering this question might incriminate me so I’ll take the fifth.
Seanan McGuire (aka Mira Grant): Woody Harrelson. He just had so damn much fun in Zombieland.
Julia Sevin: There’s only one option. Ted Nugent. And then he could shred. As long as we didn’t have to actually make conversation.
Amelia Beamer: Humphrey Bogart. He was always so calm and collected. He wouldn’t even blink at a zombie apocalypse. Plus, he’d call me “sweetheart.”
S.G. Browne: I can’t pick just one, so I’ll go with Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan, Moses, Julia Child, and Charlie Chaplin. You can always use a good martyr, a good warrior, a good miracle, a good cook, and a good laugh.
Bridget McGovern, who has been known to dress up for Halloween as the fabulous ZomBea Arthur, would be proud to fight alongside her favorite Golden Girl. (Ditto for Bill Murray, if Bea’s not available).